~upon yesterday when the rains came~

     Yesterday it rained here in our part of the world, in fact most of the day off and on, the heavens opened up and down it came.  In torrents.  Gully washers. Buckets full and then some.  The skies were cloud covered, painted in the deepest shades of gray and blue.  Massive 14,000 feet + mountains were nowhere to be seen.  From time to time as I was driving home from working at school over in Olathe, the sun dared to try and come out.  It really didn't make it.  The weather we had been promised for days now had suddenly arrived.

     Later on towards the close of the day, the clouds began to separate and attempt to move on.  I heard Mike call out to me from the kitchen with a voice reminiscent of a little boy opening up a package on Christmas morning~

"Hey, it looks like the mountains got their first snow!"
     I went to join him and look out of the big picture window in the kitchen and sure enough, he was right.  The clouds were skooshing over a tiny bit with just enough clearance that we could see in the distance the San Juan range of mountains that, until just two days ago were barren of snow, were now most certainly covered in it.  I grabbed my camera and out the door I went.  Just like that.

   
     In very early 2013, when I came out here to visit Mike for the very first time, I was so amazed at the view that he had from his vantage point here outside the city limits of Montrose.  He had told me all about it and how he loved to wake up every day and see his beautiful mountains.  This "flatlander" had never seen anything like it before. When the clouds parted yesterday and the weather subsided for a moment, I could not help but to think of the Creator who made this all happen in the first place.  It's no secret that I am a lifelong "disliker' of winter weather and the snow that comes with it.  But for a little while yesterday as I was taking this photo, there was a smile on my face and in my heart.
 
   Many people have asked me lately about how it was that I came to be living out here and most of them cannot believe what I tell them.  But it is true.  When I arrived here for the first time in late January of 2013, I wrote a blog post that I entitled "The View From a Different Window" and I'm reprinting that below, if you would so care to read.

     My life has been an interesting one.  My destiny was not even close to what I figured it might be.  I preach all the time that everything in our lives happens for a reason.  That destiny continues to play out, right before my very eyes, and I suppose shall do so until I take my last breath here in this life on earth.  Wishing for you all a great day, a good beginning for the week.  Friends and family back in Kansas, hope to see you all again very soon.  I miss you guys!

A blog post from January of 2013~

the view from a different window~

Greetings everyone to you this evening, not from my home on 14th Street in Hutchinson, but rather from Montrose, Colorado along the western slopes of the Rocky Mountains.  Never in my wildest of dreams would I have imagined finding myself in Colorado during the coldest time of the year here, but nonetheless here I have been since late Friday evening.  At the kind invitation of a dear friend from the "land of long ago, and far, far away", Mike Renfro, I came to see what his part of the earth looked like.  And now as night time has quickly fallen and my car is mostly packed for the journey back home to Kansas in the morning, I am so very glad that I have come here.  I would have to admit, it's with a bit of sadness that I will have to leave because I have had a great time and of course, as the age old saying goes, "time flies when you are having fun".  But hey, what the heck?  I know the way  here now and I will be back.  

This was a gigantic "leap of faith" for me to take out from the certainty of life at home in Hutchinson, Kansas and travel to a place over 650 miles away from me.  I had never driven alone in Colorado and I knew that traversing the mountains would be a formidable undertaking.  But I figured, "OK Peggy Miller~you drove 4,000 miles to and from Maine not even 8 months ago.  You did it then, you can do it now!" and so off I went just as soon as I could finish up a few things after school on Friday.

The journey on Highway 50 out of Hutchinson and all the way to the far western Kansas town of Syracuse was pretty much a slice of that "proverbial piece of cake".  Mike had told me, shoot Mapquest had even "seconded" it that Montrose was a mere 650 miles, give or take a mile or two, west of Hutchinson on Highway 50.  So all I would need to do is just "follow the yellow brick road" and by the way, if any of the heirs of L. Frank Baum are reading this, my apologies for borrowing a line from one of the scariest movies I have ever YET to finish.  So off I went.

About LaJunta, Colorado I began to get a little tired and I realized that my body had been awake and going for well over 16 hours.  But since I was yet to become overwhelmingly drowsy I continued on.  The traffic was pretty light and I thought just as long as I kept plodding along, all would be well.  On to Pueblo, then Canon City and all of a sudden I began to wonder what the heck I was doing continuing to drive.  I knew that I'd never make it all the way to Montrose in one fell swoop as planned.  It would have been crazy to do that so I began to formulate "plan B"~just get to Salida and find a place to sleep for the night.

If I were going to choose the worst part of the drive for me, it would have to be that seemingly never ending journey from Canon City to Salida...on the map a journey of 57 miles that should have only taken an hour and fifteen minutes.  But as "Miller luck" would have it, the journey took twice that long.  I should not have been surprised since "Miller's luck" and "Murphy's Law" are second cousins twice removed on my mother's side of the family.  It was bound to happen.  The rise in elevation of over 1,800 feet got my attention really quick.  My ears began to pop even worse than they already had and thank goodness I'd remembered (thanks to my son Grahame) to have some gum along to chew.  The Honda Civic did its best and carried me up the road, slow but sure. 

 In a way, I was glad that it was pitch dark outside.  I figured it was better to NOT see where I'd end up landing if I left the road and went down into a canyon.  About an hour into the journey I saw a sign that said, "Royal Gorge, 1/2 mile" and I was determined not to visit it the hard way.    I jokingly told a few of my friends at school that if I didn't happen to make it back, that hey I'd lived a pretty good life for 57 years.  But actually I kind of DO like living. Once in a sad moment of time, when I felt like maybe I was an "idiot" for trying this all alone in the dark of the night, I thought about my late father.  I remember actually saying out loud at one point in time, "Daddy are you there?  It's me Peggy and I need you!"  Crazy wasn't it?  But I got this peace of mind almost instantly that everything would be ok....and I'll give you the cleaned up version of the message my dad sent me...  "Peggy Ann get your head where it belongs and you will be fine."  And he was right, I was.

After a good night's sleep in the town of Salida, I took out once more.  In the early morning hours, I arrived in Montrose and met up with my friend, Mike.  He has been a wonderful host, a terrific tour guide and wonderful friend to visit with for the past two days.  I have seen more marvelous and wonderful things in the past 48 hours than I have seen in most years of my life.  And I surely do thank Mike for his kindness in showing me around.  

You know friends I could have stayed home this weekend...hey, with the load of work that I have 
waiting for me when I get home tomorrow night, I'm gonna be up for quite awhile before bed time.  I should have done laundry, cleaned house, taken care of school work, done some preparatory work for our school 4H meeting this week and on and on and on and on.  But I say to you, FOR WHAT?  Every single thing I would have done by staying home would just have needed to be done once again in another couple of days, so when I got the "invite" to visit Colorado, I decided that for once in my life, I'd choose to do something more meaningful and long lasting than folding up my towels and wash cloths.  

I have experienced so very much here during this Colorado weekend and I'm sure that those around me must have recognized quickly that I was indeed a "flatlander".  If I had a dollar for every time I've said the word "WOW" since I got here on Saturday morning, well then I could take us all down to Bogey's and the drinks would be on me.  The scenery is absolutely breathtaking here and although I love the plains of Kansas, I'm sure that I could easily get used to Colorado's "purple mountains' majesty."  Take a peek below at what the road to Ouray looked like earlier this afternoon.

  I saw "ice climbers" by the score in Ouray who come there from all over the world to participate in their sport.  I could have watched them forever and listen to their voices echoing all over the canyon.  Their comraderie was inspiring to me and just watching them fearlessly attempting to scale some pretty wicked looking ice lifted my spirits even more than they already were.  I'm not quite crazy enough to try it, even though I'm sure my good friends Craig and Dennis might disagree, but it sure did look fun.  And if I cannot do it, then I sure did enjoy watching the many others there try to.  Here's a picture of a couple of guys getting ready to rappel down earlier today.

I ate Mexican food in a place whose ceiling was festooned with dollar bills, all inscribed with some message from the person who left them there.  Normally I would not have done something like that, but with the encouragement of my friend Mike, here's mine.  I shall always be a "legend" in there now...  LOL.

I learned how to play "Cribbage", watched the movie "The Book of Eli" and even "Avatar".  I enjoyed myself tremendously and I say "it's about time."  I only got lost twice and have managed to hang on to my checkbook, cell phone, car keys, and money for the entire time.  And friends, that's gotta be some kind of record for me and in that I do rejoice.

Since this was the last day I was going to be here, I was determined to squeeze in as much I could between the sun's rise and the sun's fall at the end of the day.  I woke up early to wait on the sun to come up so I could snap a photo.  I learned that the sun seems to come up a little differently here in Colorado~but it was beautiful just the same.  

                                     "morning has broken" Montrose, Colorado

And although I nearly missed taking the photo, I was able to capture the sun's quick departure in the western sky a couple of hours ago.  It was beautiful as well.

 Come tomorrow morning, I'll be heading out towards the wide open prairies of my home state of Kansas and I will leave with a grateful heart for the chance to come to Colorado and see the beautiful sights here.  I'm sure thankful that I made the decision to make the journey and know that I will return again someday to this place.  Friends, may I ask you something?  When was the last time that you made a decision to do something good for yourselves?  How long has it been since you went to Colorado, or went fishing and canoeing at the Boundary Waters?  Been a while since you visited your mom or your grandmother?  Been meaning to go back to school and get that degree?  And if not THOSE things, then what about a thousand other ones?  Please dear friends of mine, do not wait until tomorrow, or next week, or even next month to do it for we all surely do know that those "tomorrows" aren't even promised to us any way.  You will NEVER regret having done so but you WILL regret having never tried.  

Well, bedtime for me as I need to be on the road tomorrow early.  It will be a long drive back home to the Sunflower state and even though I'll thankfully be making most of the journey in broad daylight, I'd sure be thankful for prayers of safety on my behalf.  No need to worry about me, I'm going back in pretty good hands.  "His" hands know the way home.  Good night everyone...love to you all my dear friends and family.  See you at home!

To my dear friend, Mike Renfro, thank you for showing me the view from a different window this week end.  For your kindness, hospitality and friendship I am mighty beholden to you.

~lessons from Laura~

     It's been a lot of fun for "the 22" and I to have the chance to read together the timeless children's classic written in 1936 by Laura Ingalls Wilder called "Little House in the Big Woods".  We began reading it about the second week that school began and now have finally nearly come to the end.  By Friday of this week we will be closing the book for the last time and readying ourselves to pick up the next great book in her series, "Farmer Boy".  The little people always smile when I explain to them that we are going to be reading about a little boy who would grow up to be Laura's boyfriend and then her husband.  Almanzo Wilder was indeed that and when Laura would write about him in her much later years of life, it was a labor of love to tell his story as a little boy growing up in upstate New York.   

     Reading "Little House in the Big Woods" has been a good experience for the kids, one filled with rich vocabulary words to learn and life lessons to speak of.  Just this past week, we read the chapter about when Laura goes to town for the very first time in her life and how she feels about it.  It was hard for the kids to imagine that in the time little Laura lived, going to town was a very special experience for a child growing up in the woods of Wisconsin in the 1860's.  I've read that book to children more times than I can even remember in the past 37 years and even though I know already how the story ends, it's still fun to watch the faces of the kids I read it to.  

     They have learned so many lessons from the book, ones from the chapter that might well have been called "Life".  Laura gets in trouble for doing naughty things,  just like we all have.  She and her sister Mary do not always get along with one another.  The Ingalls children, just like all of the rest of us, from time to time must do without something special.  Students always like it when I read the parts where Pa (Laura's father) gets in trouble for disobeying his own father when he was little.  The part where a pig hops onto the sled of 3 little boys coasting downhill on a Sunday afternoon when they were really supposed to be inside studying their Catechisms always brings a smile to their face.  As Laura hears her Pa tell that particular story, she learns that even her own grandfather was naughty as a little boy.  I have always felt that kids need to know that we all make mistakes and that is why they call us "human".  Great books that teach an even greater lesson are well worth the time and effort it takes to read them.  
     Item #54 on my list of 60 things to do before I turn 60 admonishes me to continue to teach and make a difference somewhere along the way.  You know, I have thought a lot about that particular item, especially in the couple of weeks that have just passed by.  It's been a very busy first 6 weeks of school and when the day is done, I sometimes think about all we've done for that day and hope that the kids "got" all the lessons that I taught.  It is my sincere desire for them to become great readers and mathematicians.  I want them to be able to write sentences that make sense and are properly written.  When our first grade year is through, I want to send them on to second grade classrooms, ready to do their best.  I don't want anyone to fail.  Not even one of them. 
     But even having said all of that, I will always maintain that some of the greatest lessons to be taught to children have nothing to do with being a great reader or the kid who knows all of their math facts first.  Even as much as I love to promote the idea of being good writers, it's not that one either.  The greatest lesson I think that children need to learn today is how to be a good person, on the inside where it counts.  They really do need to learn lessons of "the heart", ones that teach us to be compassionate and kind, to have empathy and understanding for others.  It's an ongoing thing, one that won't be brought to its complete fruition in the first grade classroom but in my opinion it's as good a place as any to start.  My personal conviction to that will always stand firm.  
     It's morning time here along the Western Slopes and the rain that was promised us is falling steadily down.  The sky is still dark, partly because it's only 6 a.m. but mostly because the skies are shrouded in clouds.  The weather app on my phone says that it will be around all day long so good thing we did the laundry yesterday and got it on the clothesline in time.  Venturing out to do so today would not have worked out so well.  Already the first week of autumn has been completed and soon the calendar will be turned to the sweet month of October.  Wherever you may be this day, I wish for you my friends and family a day filled with goodness and peace.  And by the way, I could never say it enough.  Thank you for being my friends and for caring about what happens to me in this life.  Where would I be without you?  In a big world of "hurt" that's where :)

The Beltz sisters~Miss Carrie and Miss Esther
Two women who had a profound influence on the lives of the little people that they once taught in the "land of long ago and far, far away".  You were one lucky kid if they were your first or second grade teacher.  They wrote the book on teaching lessons that refined a child's character.  I strive to be just like them.

     

~changes~

     Autumn arrived in its fullness yesterday the 23rd of September and with it we bid adieu to summer and all of the things about it that make us happy for the better part of 3 months' time.  It is sad sometimes to realize that it is gone until next year but at least the season of fall brings with it some beautiful things as well.  The smell of pumpkin scented candles, the crunch of dried up leaves along the sidewalk, the colors of the trees in all of their splendor, fires in the chimineas outdoors as the evenings turn quite cool, and the arrival  of the holidays ahead are great reminders of the days that are yet to come.  Autumn is "ok" by me and perhaps you feel the same.  Winter?  Well, not that much.  In fact, not really at all.  But to enjoy the seasons that we do, there are times when we must take the ones that we don't as well.  This year I feel a special kinship to autumn and I look forward to what it shall bring for me here in this place they call south western Colorado.  In the dance of the seasons I always feel as if fall is quite polite as it taps upon the shoulder of summer and says,

"Don't worry.  I'm here to help you.  Take some time off now and get some rest.  We'll need you back here in about 9 months' time.  You can't go on forever, you know?"

The leaves as they were changing on the way to Telluride last year about this time.

Two beautiful trees back from my old neighborhood in Hutchinson, Kansas from a couple of years back now.  I miss the "old" block that was lined with Maple and Elm trees galore.

     It will be seven years ago tomorrow on the 25th that my mom passed away, only two weeks after her 87th birthday.  I think of her so very often but even more so during the month of September.  Mom loved the beautiful colors of the trees as the seasons switched in and out every year.  She would always enjoy it if one of us kids would stop by and pick her up and take her out for a drive to see the Master's paintbrush at work in the neighborhood of East 14th Street and beyond.  After we would be out for an hour or so looking at all the pretty fall colors, we would often find ourselves in the McDonald's drive thru on 4th Street back home as we picked up an ice cream cone and ate it on the way back to Mom's house.  It's a nice memory for me and one that I hold really close in my heart.
     On what would have been the occasion of her 94th birthday, now a couple of weeks back, I took chocolate chip cookies to school to celebrate with "the 22".  I explained to them that it would have been my mother's birthday and if she were still alive that she herself would have wished to have made a special treat for them.  We played the "Happy Birthday" song just for her and I did pretty good.  No tears.  Just a smile on my face as I imagined her there with us.  She would have loved those kids.  Each and every one of them.
     The older I get, the more I appreciate things like fall colors, the changing of the seasons and my parents.  I look at life a lot more differently and am learning that it is so true what I have heard said before.  As we move along through the years, we begin to desire less and less of the material things that life has to offer and we crave more and more the things that have much deeper meaning to us than money could ever buy.  Perhaps you feel the same?  I imagine that many of you do.
     I was kind of sad and disappointed to learn that one of the things on my list of 60 things to do before I turn 60 will probably not come to fruition for reasons of economics.  I had wanted to be sure to return to Wichita, Kansas some day soon and enjoy a meal at Doc's Steakhouse over there on Broadway Street.  Garlic salad, garlic salad.  That's all I have to say.  I heard from friends back home that it will be closing very soon, much sooner than I could make it back over the big mountain.  I have had the chance to eat there over the past 4 years or so several times with friends.  Always have looked forward to and enjoyed going there.  That is to be no more I guess and now that I think about it, the garlic salad IS good but maybe it really wasn't about garlic salad at all.  Maybe it was just the lovely time I had as I had the chance to sit and visit with a friend or two.
     Yesterday at school the opportunity arose to find something new to replace that item on my bucket list, to switch out eating garlic salad for another thing perhaps.  After school was out, I headed down to the classroom of another teacher and began my life as a student of the fine art of crochet.  My good friend Mary was kind enough to offer to instruct my other good friend Nikki and I in the making of something from yarn.  More on that later.  But one thing I noticed about spending a half hour after school was out doing something totally new and foreign to me was this~

It was fun!
     Now it wasn't enjoyable because I was able to, in one half hour time frame, whip out an afghan to cover the back of the couch or even something as small as a head wrap.  Shoot I struggled with even making a chain, however after sticking with it I now have a pretty decent looking one  that is about 3/4 of a mile long.  It was enjoyable because I took a "break" from the seriousness of life, walked away from the gazillion things I needed to finish up in my classroom, and laughed with a couple of good friends over the merit of whether or not my crocheting could win me a blue ribbon at the state fair in Pueblo next year.  For the record, not yet.  Ok, ok.  In all likelihood, probably not ever.  But it doesn't matter.  It never would have mattered.  What did count was the fact that for that brief moment in time, the smile never left my face and my heart could not have been happier.  We all need times like those and yesterday this Kansas farm girl, now at home in the Rocky Mountains of Colorado, had an enjoyable one.  Laughter is very inexpensive medicine and if the truth be told, it's the most powerful one.

Have a great Wednesday everyone out there.  Take care of yourselves and of one another.

     I am most blessed to work with an entire staff of wonderful people every day at Olathe Elementary.  These nice ladies are two of many.  Thanks for the nice time Nikki and Mary and the "break" that it brought to us all.
     

~upon his having almost made it~

     I have written many times since this blog's inception in 2011 and this one tonight is number 803. It's partially a reprint actually of the very first post I made after meeting a young man named Norman Horn earlier this summer.  It seemed fitting at this point in time, now only a few hundred miles from his final destination that I read through the post I made on the 16th day of June this past summer. How time flew.  It seemed strange that day to imagine that Norm could make it up to Monarch Pass and beyond into the canyon lands, let alone to get through the entire Midwest and to points further eastward.  He could and he did.  Now over 3,000 miles across America on foot, he aims to be at Atlantic City, New Jersey by the 11th of October in celebration of having taken each step with one purpose in mind.  "FTK" he always refers to it as.  For The Kids.  For yours and for mine and for everyone in between.  You know, I admire him for that.  Not everyone would have undertaken it.  Few would have been willing to sacrifice the time it took to do this.  Norman Horn did.

     I mentioned in my blog post that day about a young man named Calvin who was a former student of mine back at Yoder Grade School in Kansas, now so very many years ago.  Calvin was stricken with leukemia at a very early age.  He passed away from it as a teenager, now quite some time ago.  Knowing Calvin changed me, changed the person I was into someone much better.  In many ways, knowing him as a student helped to refine my character and mold me into the person that I was to become today.  Normally I don't write about any of my students in particular, let alone to identify them by name.  But you know what?  Calvin's story needs to be told and even though he lost his battle with childhood cancer, that young man fought it bravely and with much dignity and courage.  To tell his story and refer to him by any other "made up" name would be a disservice to his memory.  I wish you would have known him.  I'm so happy that I did.

     I'm so glad that I was able to bring as many "Norman updates" as I could while writing my blog and this one tonight is a good way for me honor his journey one last time.  I knew that he would not quit and he did not.  It was apparent that he was more than determined and that proved most certainly to be the case.  For your final steps Norm as you make it to where you were bound and determined to get from the very beginning, I'm pulling for you from a place so very far away.  Some day perhaps my friend, we shall meet again.  Until that time, I will forever be inspired by what you have done.     
     Godspeed the last leg of this epic trip all the way to the Atlantic Ocean.  May God continue to bless you and keep you safe until the end of the road is met.

A blog post from the 16th day of June, 2014~the first one done on behalf of Norman's journey~

~and the little boy's name was Calvin~

"Do not forget to show hospitality to strangers, for by so doing some people have entertained angels without even knowing it."  (Found in the "Good Book", Hebrews 13:2)

The little boy's name was Calvin and he was one of my students from back in the days when I taught a combination class of 1st and 2nd graders in the small, predominantly Old Order Amish town of Yoder, Kansas.  Calvin, an Amish youngster himself, had been diagnosed with leukemia as a very small child and by the time he had made it to my second grade classroom that year, had been in an ongoing battle with cancer  for many months.  He had been undergoing rounds of treatment just prior to the opening of school that year and because of that, had no hair at all left atop his little head.  I will never forget that first day at school when  he arrived wearing a woolen blue stocking cap on a very hot August day in Kansas.  His mother had warned me ahead of time that he probably would be too embarrassed to remove it, for fear what the kids might say.  So for myself and the other 25 students in our classroom that year, the very first order of business of the day was not to put our school supplies into our desks in an orderly fashion.  It wasn't even to put name tags on our clothing or have a "show and tell" time of what we did for fun on our summer vacations.  No, the first order of business, the most important thing to do that day was to convince young Calvin that even though he could wear his wintertime cap all day long in the stifling heat, we loved and respected him enough to say that it would be equally fine to remove it and put it on the coat hooks against the east wall.  A few minutes later he did just that and we all went on to have a great school year.  Each of us.  All of us.   Especially Calvin.

I was privileged to be Calvin's teacher for the two years that he was a first and second grader and equally blessed to be able to teach at Yoder for the remainder of his years there through the eighth grade.  As time went on and he grew into his teenage years, Calvin continued his fight against leukemia, a type of blood cancer that has its beginnings in the bone marrow.  The cost was high, both in terms of how it affected his overall health and the financial aspect of the ongoing medical care.  Many fundraisers were held on his behalf, both by the community at large and the school community as well.  Once we challenged ourselves in my classroom to come up with a mile of pennies in one month's time to give to Calvin for his medical care.  We ended up going way beyond a mile and at the end of the month were able to give his parents a check for nearly $4,000, all made possible because any time anyone saw the "lowly cent" lying around on the ground or in their dad's pocket, they threw it in a can and brought it to school.  We picked up aluminum cans in the springtime, even challenging (in a friendly way of course) the classes of my older sister Sherry's school down in Altus, Oklahoma to do the same and try to pick up more than we did.  The two schools did it for several years and the REAL winner always ended up being Calvin because the monies made from the recycling of the aluminum always went to his medical account.   Calvin did his best over the years to try and beat the disease that was robbing him of the normal life that other kids around him were having, yet try as he might, he lost the battle in his late teenage years.  Our hearts were broken but our lives had been changed for the good just by knowing that quiet and sweet young man.  We loved him.  In now, nearly 37 years of being an educator, I have taught many boys and girls and loved working with them all.  I should not have a favorite but I do.  It was Calvin.

You know, here's the deal.  Last week at this time, I would have never guessed that I would be making the blog post that I am this morning but stranger things have happened to me in this life.  Sometimes the events of the day can change just like that and people are put into place with one another at just the right moment in time.  Mike Renfro and I are very good examples of that because for crying out loud, how could two people's paths not cross for over 40 years and then all of a sudden, "voila!" they do?  I would like for you to meet a new friend of ours, one that we made in the strangest of places just this past Thursday evening along Highway 50 as we drove east towards Kansas out of Montrose.  His name is Norman Horn and the story of how we met him walking along the roadway, pushing a cart filled with supplies, will touch your heart.  It did ours.

Last week, just about this time, life was going along here in its normal chaotic fashion in the Renfro house.  I'm sure we were multi-tasking, just like we always seem to around here.  We had arisen and were getting things ready for the day that was about to begin.  Per the way that it usually happens in the early morning hours, the TV was going so that we could hear the news and weather on the station out of Grand Junction.  In my haste to get myself out the door that day, I wasn't paying all that much attention to the segment that was being shown about this guy that was walking all the way across the United States from the west coast to the east, to raise awareness about the number one killer of children in this country, cancer.  I briefly caught a glimpse of him, heard him saying a word or two about there being only one medication approved for treatment, as I scurried out the door for the day.  Mike watched the news segment in its entirety and we briefly talked about it later on.  Nothing more, nothing less.  By late that evening, I had completely erased the story of this man's journey from my memory but its departure would not be for very long.  Come later on in the week, as we were making our seemingly monthly trek back to Kansas, he would reappear only this time it would be for real and not as an image on our flat screen television.

As we were readying things for our departure from here along the Western Slopes on Thursday evening, Mike mentioned the young man once again saying that he hoped we might run across him sometime on the journey back to Kansas.  Because his walking adventure is taking him along the very same highway that we use each time we go back and forth to the Midwest, he knew that we probably would.  Mike had seen him a day or so earlier as he walked near the Escalante Canyon area between Delta and Olathe.  If we saw him, our plan was to stop and ask how we could make a donation to the site that has been established for those who wish to offer something to the cause he is giving nearly 8 months of his life to.  Sure enough, not even 30 minutes into our drive to the east, we found him as he pushed his cart along the way near the Morrow Point turnoff.   It was a life changing moment for both Mike and I.  Our chance meeting up with a person who prior to that very second in time was a total stranger to us, was not by "chance" or accident or random selection of the universe.  It was a part of a much greater plan that had been lain out for two kids from "the land of long ago and far, far away".  The photo shown above, taken yesterday when we found him once again in the city of Gunnison and stopped to take him to lunch, shows a man who is no longer unfamiliar to us.  Norman Horn is now our friend and we have so much admiration and respect for what is doing on behalf of kids, just like my student Calvin, who are afflicted with the disease of cancer. 

As we sat there with him yesterday and listened to his story of what life has been like since he left the west coast and took the very first step of the journey, the "mother" in me rose straight to the top and I repeatedly asked crazy questions like....

"Are you losing too much weight?  Are you getting dehydrated?  Have you ever been scared?  What do your parents think about this?  Do you always have cell phone service?  Is you cart full?  Because you know we have brought some more stuff to put into it.  How much water are you able to carry young man?   What about wild animals?  Do you know how narrow or nonexistent the roadway is up on Monarch Pass? How warm is that winter coat?  Do you know how cold it can get up there?  For crying out loud, please be careful!"

He answered all of my "mom questions" with a smile and assured me that I had no need to be concerned, that all is fine for him out there.  I watched the look in Mike's eyes as Norman told his stories of adventure on the road and for a moment there, I thought maybe my good husband was thinking of his own kind of walking trek.  Later on, he assured me that although it sounded like a great time that I didn't have to worry about it :)  We left Norman there in Gunnison and drove back to Montrose with our bellies full of food and our minds and hearts filled with even more thoughts of how to help him in the remaining months of his journey.   

By the time July rolls around, Norman will have made it to my home state, the state of my birth and most of my 58 years of life.  He will be walking all the way through Kansas as he follows Highway 50 to the northeast towards the Kansas City area.  Dear friends and family back home there who are reading this today, our friend Norman could use your help.  Could you offer up a place for him to rest for the night?  Perhaps you could allow him to use your bathroom shower to clean up in after a long day's journey or allow him to fill up his water containers.  Do you have room to sit an extra place at your table for suppertime or breakfast time or any time that a person might be hungry?  Could you possibly watch out for him along the way and stop to offer a smile and a handshake of encouragement?  One of the things that Norman reiterated over and over during our meal together yesterday was just how much he has enjoyed meeting all of the good folks along the way.  Their conversations with him continue to lift his spirit and keep his morale high.  Everywhere he has gone since leaving in April, the kindness of the human spirit has been with him.  For each bad encounter he has gone through, a thousand more good things have happened.  We were blessed to have met him and now find ourselves supporting his endeavor all of the way to the end as he reaches the east coast in October.

I encourage you to visit Norman's website www.Coast2CoastFTK.com and please read more about his incredible walking adventure.  You can also find his page on Facebook, Coast 2 Coast FTK and "like" it.  The stories and photos that he has posted from along the way will uplift you and remind you that the American spirit is alive and well, that the "power of the human touch" is evidenced each and every day if we can just allow ourselves to slow down long enough to see it.  Kansas friends and family, if you are able to help Norman as he sojourns through the Sunflower state, please message me on FB and let me know.  I will help you to connect to him along the way.  Our help is needed.

It's the "mom" in me, but please pray for Norman's safety as he makes the journey.  Pray that the people he encounters along the way will be as touched by his mission as we were here at our house.  Before we parted ways yesterday, I took off my St. Christopher's medal and pressed it into his hands.  It always meant so much to know that it was with me as I traveled back and forth over Monarch Pass in the more than nearly two dozen times that I traversed over it between Kansas and Colorado.  Today Norman starts out for his passage over the summit that stands at over 11,000 feet.  Just like all of you have done for me, I'll be praying him safely over that pass in the next three days. 

From now until his journey's end come this autumn, one of my blog posts each week will be devoted to an update of what is going on for him as he makes his way eastward.  I hope to share his adventures with my new class of students in the first grade at Olathe when school begins in August.  He gave me wristbands for them to have yesterday and I will most gladly share them with each of my little people.  It would seem appropriate so to do...after all the initials "FTK" stand for the words "for the kids".  That's what Norman's journey is all about and our life has been made better because of our meeting up with him. 

You know it's one thing to see a person on the news and think "Ok, that's a good cause" and go on.  It's quite another to meet them in person on a narrow and twisting section of Colorado pavement. 

~the view from Monarch Pass, otherwise known as "being not afraid"~

     The rain finally came to our side of the mountains in the overnight hours.  All afternoon long yesterday we watched the clouds build up over the San Juan range to our south and figured we would be seeing the moisture come by today.  We were right.  It's a gentle rain thus far and one that probably won't stay around for long.  A quick check on my phone's weather app indicates that by late afternoon it will be all but gone from here.  The high temperatures for the week here along the Western Slope are predicted to be in the mid to upper 80's.  Up on old Monarch Pass the story is slightly different.  The pass will receive a greater than not chance of rain for the entire day and the temperature will vary by about 10 degrees.  The elevation of the big mountain is about 5,000 feet higher than we are here in Montrose County.  Some day, probably sooner than we would like to see, the snow shall return and those of us that wish to cross it to get to the other side of the Great Continental Divide shall be at its mercy.  A person must be careful and remember that no journey is worth the chance of traveling in treacherous weather.  Not to Kansas.  Not to anywhere.
     This past summer Mike and I made the journey over the mountain to Salida, Colorado to meet our friends LeRoy and Anne for lunch one Sunday.  We left early enough that we had the chance to stop off at Monarch Pass and ride the tram that takes you to the very top of the summit where you can get out and walk around a bit to enjoy the view that so often we miss as we drive along Highway 50.  It was wonderful to do so and the less than $20 that we spent to buy the tickets was well worth it.  We were able to enjoy the view and take some fun pictures along the way.  Normally, I've only seen the snowy version of this panoramic view and it was so nice to realize that there is a very green side to Monarch Pass as well.

The view at the top~6,000 feet higher than where we are here in Montrose County and nearly 10,000 feet higher than my old home in the flatlands of Kansas.  The air is a bit on a the thin side up there.

Even in mid-July snow could still be seen from the top of the highest summits.  So hard for me to imagine living in a place where somehow, somewhere you can find snow nearly year round.  I am surely such a flatlander.

     It's like standing on top of the world for this Kansas farm girl.  The wind was blowing but the sun was shining in a robin's egg blue Colorado sky.  The view was really breathtaking.

     Mike has lived here in Colorado for nearly 20 years and he is used to the altitude differences.  It will probably take me a while longer to acclimate to all of the changes.  He has climbed to the top of Mt. Sneffels and would like to try another climb of a 14'er some day in the future.  It's not on my list of 60 things to do before I turn 60.  Guarantee you.  No way.  Not now.  Not ever.   :)

     I remember my first journey out here, now nearly 2 years ago and by the way, that sure seems strange to realize.  It was in mid-January of 2013 that I drove out here all alone in the middle of winter and nearly in the middle of the night to see what life was like here.  I had never driven to any place like this before but shoot, it didn't seem like it would be all that bad as I looked at the map.  Mapquest said it was 611 miles from the front door of my house in the middle of Hutchinson to Mike's front door here in Montrose.  My initial plan was to drive it all in one fell swoop, after school was out on a Friday afternoon.  How hard could that be?  I'd driven 500 miles each day the year before to get to Maine to see my very first lighthouse ever.  No problems with that journey so why not give it a try this time?  By 11:00 p.m. that evening I had to give it up in Salida, calling Mike and telling him I was just too tired to come any further that evening.  By the time I arrived here in Montrose at 8:00 a.m. on a Saturday morning, I realized that driving 611 miles that would take me through several canyon lands and over the rugged mountains would be more like driving about 1,611 miles.  Through an obstacle course.  Backwards and with one tire nearly flat.  My greatest of awakenings happened just as the sun came up that early Saturday morning in 2013.  I was still an hour or more away from getting here and as I looked in my rear view mirror, this mammoth black image appeared taking up all the space in my rear view mirror.  For the first time I realized just what I had been driving through all alone, in the dark, and on snow covered roads.  I had found the mountains and hadn't even really known it.  I have said before and will say time and time again.....

"I am such a flatlander!"

     Autumn is here now.  The dance of the seasons continues on.  Oh there will still be a few Indian summer days around, just like back home in Kansas but for the most part it's time now to enjoy the beauty that fall brings us.  The leaves changing colors are a sight to behold here along the Rocky Mountains.  There seems to be this sense of urgency among the wildlife and nature's inhabitants as even they know it's time to get a move on to prepare for the time when winter taps upon the shoulder of autumn and says it is time to change partners.  Even people are beginning to prepare for the changes as we all begin the process of finishing up outdoor tasks in the weeks ahead, ultimately looking at the time when winter's grip will keep us indoors from time to time.  Change is inevitable in life.  The seasons are a testament to that fact.

     We are going home for Christmas this year.  I would not miss it for anything.  I'm even contemplating spending my last birthday of being in the "50's" back home in Kansas as well.  That birthday is still a month away and much can happen as far as the weather goes.  But if it all works out, I'm going back to the land of my birth to celebrate reaching 59 years of life.  There is only one way to get there from here (ok there are others but none that I would choose) and that way is to climb the big mountain.  I am respectfully not afraid of Monarch Pass.  It can be traversed in any of the seasons, winter included.  Watch the weather reports, travel with an emergency kit and cell phone fully charged, keep your head where it belongs, and check with people all along the way.  I'm sure glad that I saw it from the "top" this past summer.  All things considered, it is really a beautiful place. Covered in green.  Covered in white.

The wintry view from atop Monarch Pass last December as we headed back home to Kansas to enjoy Christmas with our family and friends back there on the other side of the Divide.

~upon trying to remain healthy~

     From the Western Slopes of the Rocky Mountains of Colorado, from down into a little valley in a place far away...good morning friends and family on this late September morning.  It's early here and save for me and the cricket singing its annoying song out in the sunroom, the house is quiet and fast asleep.  Even Sally the dog decided to give up and return to slumber underneath Mike's side of the bed.  When she hears my alarm sound at 4 a.m. each day, that crazy dog is up and ready to head outside for a bit of a bathroom break and the reward of a dog treat once she returns inside.  It's 5:15 now and traffic is very light out on highway 50.  A few semis fly by once in a while but for the most part no one is up just as of yet.  As for me, this day shall now begin.
     Just like everyone else and their proverbial "brother" around here, I've been fighting upper respiratory/sinus infection stuff for a while. After being stricken with laryngitis for a couple of days this week and absolutely being worn out at the end of every day, I had the good sense to do something about it.  Yesterday after school was out I headed to the doctor to see if they could give me something to get to finally feeling better.  The waiting room there at the clinic was a testimony to the fact that I wasn't alone and signs were everywhere telling people that if they were coughing to please put on one of the masks next to the front desk.  I was in and out of there in under an hour and I thought that wasn't too bad considering all of the people that were sick in line ahead of me.  With antibiotics in hand and the age old advice of "drink plenty of water and get extra rest" given to me by the doctor, I headed home.  You know I was really thankful to be able to get to the doctor in the first place and to have the health insurance to help pay for it.  I went without health coverage for a couple of months this summer because I didn't want to have to pay for the expensive COBRA policy that I would need until school began again.  My prayer all summer long was that I could make it without having any major things happen to me.  God provided the way and I made it but I don't want to ever have to do that again.  The sad truth is that there are still people right now that don't have insurance and perhaps never shall.  I had taken for granted the fact that I always would be insured and for the first time in my life when I had absolutely zero coverage, it was a very sobering wake up call.  Perhaps I needed that.
     Item #37 on my list of 60 things to do before turning 60 next year is simply stated.....

"Stay healthy!"
   
     It seemed like a good thing to put down, you know?  I mean, who doesn't want to stay in good health?  Lately I've been examining some of my habits, both bad and good, that have a great impact upon just how healthy or unhealthy this nearly 6-decades old Kansas farm girl is on any given day.  I hate to drink water but don't mind a bit drinking diet soda.  I like to walk for exercise but I don't go nearly as far or as much as I could.  I'm lazy that way these days it seems. My day doesn't go well unless it has begun with 3 cups of coffee, with each of them being sweetened with artificial sugar and creamer.  I burn that proverbial "candle" at both ends.  Every day.  All the time.  And when that candle burns out, I just get another one and do the same thing all over again.  It tells on a person, in many ways.  I'm thankful that I don't have to medicine on a daily basis but of course as the years go on, that can and perhaps will change.  On a positive note~I've been trying to do better on my eating habits and have been able to shed several excess pounds that I put on here during my first lonely months in a new place far away from my old home in Kansas.   Not that I'm done yet because I have several more to get rid of if I choose.  But at least it is a good start and oh yes.  One other thing.  I write most every day.
     I never really thought much about how writing a blog could be beneficial to one's overall health but over the course of the past nearly 4 years now, I've found it to be worth so much to me in regards to my mental and emotional well being.  Sometimes when we talk about being "healthy", it is mentioned only in respect to the physical aspect of being "ok".  I've learned over the course of many years that being healthy in mind and spirit is equally important.  From time to time I suffer from some mild depression and rather than take medicine (which I really hate to do anyways) I have learned that if I just write about something, share the feelings that I have, that I feel so much better.  I remember the first time that I blogged about going through depression that I was nervous and afraid of what people would think.  But I did it anyway.  Within a day or so of publishing it to my blogpost site, I had emails from several friends thanking me for writing it.  They too had gone through bouts of depression and were really glad to read of some of things I'd tried to do (sans medication) to overcome it.
     My father died at age 59 (the age that I'm fast approaching in about a month) from lung cancer.  My mother passed away at age 87, now 7 years ago come the 25th of this month.  Her kidneys finally gave up and the congestive heart failure that she had endured for years before ended up becoming her demise.  I never knew my grandfathers but my grandmothers were in my life for a long, long time.  One passed at the age of 89 and the other, my Grandmother Brown, lived well into the winter of her 106th year.  Longevity abounds on both sides.  Would I like to live to see 100?  It might be interesting.  God only knows.  His time will tell.
     It's time for the day to begin here.  Time for another antibiotic and a glass of the stuff that I hate.  Water.  Each day of life given to any of us is a gift.  So for whatever time remains here for me, be it a year or thirty, I try to do the best I can in taking care of it.  My friends and family, I wish for good health for all of you as well.  Take care of yourselves, both in body and mind.  You deserve a great life each day.  Peace be yours.

Making "old lefty" healthy again~2011

   

~for the list makers~

 Item #5 on Peggy's list of 60 things to do before I turn 60
"Buy a good book, read it and then pass it on to another person each month."

      It is almost time to send "The Book of Lists To Live By" back over the big mountain and to the mailbox of my friend from the "land of long ago and far, far away", Dennis Ulrey.  There are just a few more lists that I want to reread again before I wrap the book up in brown paper and mail it on its way.  I knew I'd be needing something to use for mailing it so when I went to City Market the other day I was ready with my answer for their timeless question~

"Would  you like paper or plastic today?"

     

     There is a section towards the middle of the book, one on home living, that addresses the list of "make your old home feel like new".  As a resident of an over 100-year old farmhouse here along the Western Slopes, that almost seems like an impossible task.  It's a little hard to imagine that a person could actually do that.  My initial question would have been where in the world to even begin.  As I read "the list" I began to smile because I realized that just last spring as the snow began to stop falling here along the Rocky Mountains, I had already begun the process of making one of the rooms in our old house look different.  Just a few weeks back, we finally put the last of the finishing touches on it.  The cost was minimal, all in all no more than $125 to make the changes, but I think it turned out ok.  What was once a mudroom/catchall for everything is now a fairly nice "sun"room that I like to sit in and write my blogs.

     I never took "before pictures" but here are the "after ones".

     We already had most of the things that we used in this room.  They were just scattered in other places around the house and in the boxes that I was reluctant to unpack in the early days of being here last year.  The most costly item it took to make this room look different was the 3 gallons of green paint that it took to cover over the ghostly white that had been on the walls for a long, long time.  I wanted to choose a color that made me feel at peace and for whatever reason, this one was my favorite.  Back home in my old house in Kansas, the walls of my mom's old bedroom were painted this color.  It reminded me of her, I suppose.

Ok, Ok~so I might have moved away from Kansas.............

But I will always and forever be....................

A Kansas farm girl~

     One of the things that Mike and I have in common is our collections of "old" things like wooden boxes, old crocks, and pottery.  It was actually kind of fun to mix and match our groupings, turning them into new sets of things to display on the shelves above the big windows.  Sometimes I think we all tend to forget just how much we have already and with just a little bit of rearranging, old houses do look just like new.  A person really doesn't even need to go out and buy new things.  Just use what you have and rearrange it.

     We also collect old enamel ware, so this was what ended up on the shelf above the window to the north.  I was able to visit the local WalMart to pick up valances for the big windows that were exactly like the ones that I left hanging on the windows of my old house back in Hutchinson.  It felt good to be able to see them hanging out here, over 600 miles away.

     We love plants and have about 20 of them inside on shelves and against the wall.  I keep skooshing all of them over and trying to fit just one more inside.  When I was a kid growing up in a big family with seven kids in it, we learned the fine art of skooshing over at the supper table all the time.  I think we may have already reached the critical mass stage with things from the plant world.  I suppose there are worse things to have a lot of, you know?

Both Mike and I like to read, especially books about growing things and preserving them.  Our bookshelf is filled with enough books to start our own little lending library.  It will make for nice reading when the snow begins to fly atop the mountain and the days are cold and darkness comes much too soon in the long winter season.

     I intend to sit out there and drink coffee of the mornings, even when the weather decides to take a turn towards the cold side.  All I have to do is wrap that prayer shawl that you see lain across the chair around my shoulders and everything seems just fine.  My good friend back home in Kansas, Neva Jane, made it for me and my good friend, Sarah (Neva's daughter) made sure that I got it this past spring.  Actually I am wondering what it might look like to gaze out those windows and see the first snowfall of the season begin to come down from the heavens above.  The fact that I am not much of a fan of winter is pretty well known but even someone like me can find beauty in the quietness of nature's first offering of soft and fluffy snow.  By the sounds of the Old Farmer's Almanac for this year, we will have more than a plenty opportunities to do just that.

     According to the "list", I did what I was supposed to.  I chose a room, saw the potential, stuck with it until it was done, and was able to make the change for a minimal amount of dollars spent.  It wasn't a bad little attempt at all.

     I have really enjoyed reading "Lists to Live By" and would highly recommend it to anyone who is drawn to reading books whose pages are not filled with heavy wordage.  It's pretty much clear cut and to the point.  It tells you as the reader what you  need to know and if you should happen across a list or two that has no meaningful purpose in your life right now, well then just turn the page and continue on.  I've been a list maker all of my life.  The landfill back in Reno County, Kansas contains thousands of the ones I've made over the course of nearly 6 decades of life.  Dang it, why didn't I think of writing a book like this one?  Someone had the great idea before me though and turned it into a best selling book for the world to enjoy.  I was one of them.

Autumn

     There are a couple of raccoons that have decided to take up residence underneath one of the grain storage bins just a couple hundred yards away from our house here along the Western Slopes.  Mike saw them the other evening when he was walking Sally and came back to tell me about them.  One was a fairly good size one, the other not so much.  They are helping themselves to supper on whatever they can find in the garden's leftovers and even the compost pile.  They are smart and realize that the times are a changing and they are making shelter wherever they can find it.   I'm not a big fan of raccoons.  They are cute in pictures, even charming as little babies.  But grownup ones?  Nah.  I don't think so.

     In June of last year Mike and I  found this little baby raccoon trying to wander around the yard dazed and confused.  He'd evidently fallen from a tree during one of the wind storms the night before.  We actually found another little baby, lying dead just a few yards away.  This one soon succumbed  as well.  I had been here only a month and found myself helping to bury the first two critters of the season.
     There is wildlife all around us at the outskirts of the city, just outside of the city limit sign.  All last summer, the daily deer parade caught my attention as herd after herd would walk through the alfalfa field to the south of our front porch as they looked to graze at the table of fresh hay.  We have seen the deer much less frequently this summer and the small herd that we do see has kept itself pretty much hidden in the acreage of cornfields to our west.  Seldom did we see them leave the confines of the farmer's neatly planted rows.  Lately in the past month or so they have been much more brave, even daring to skip along the alfalfa field and travel to another patch of corn on the east side.  There were twins born to the herd earlier in the summer and it was always fun to see them playing alongside one another.  From our vantage point you could see them frolicking around as they played tag with one another like little children.  One of the twins got a little careless and decided to cross over to the other side of the road and got hit by a car back in early August.  The twin that survived was the one who didn't leave the safety of our side of the road.  I hate it when a deer has to get hit like that.  It can happen to anyone around these parts and I have lost count of the times that I nearly had one run right in front of me as well.  Safety for deers, safety for drivers.  Soon the cornfield will be cut and the deer family will move on to their place of rest for the winter months ahead.  Maybe next summer they will return.  I hope so.  I love to watch them.

    I loved this photo that I was able to capture one morning last summer of these two mighty creatures as they stood and had a bite to eat in the new clover.  I took a gazillion pictures of them last year as I found out that if I kept my mind busy with other things, I didn't have as much time to be homesick for Kansas.   A strategy that mostly worked.
     The Black Canyon of the Gunnison is right in our back yard and one of the first things that I saw when I opened up Facebook yesterday was a post of a couple of bears that were feasting on acorns there over the weekend.  The long winter lies ahead for them and it's their time of year to keep on getting fatter and fatter.  They look for food wherever they can find it.  The news has been reporting numerous bear sightings all over the state as bears come into "civilization" closer and closer each day.  They need food, plain and simple.  People are being reminded all of the time to not leave things out that would attract a bear to come and find it.  Good common sense has to be exercised on the part of all people.  Bears are really only doing what we as people do ourselves.  When hunger strikes, you find something to eat.
     With just a few last days of summer left "officially" on the calendar, I am reminded that autumn is already here for all intents and purposes.  The leaves have begun to change, slowly and surely.  The beautiful and stately Cottonwood trees that ring our front yard have begun to show signs of a golden leaf or two.  They "jumped out" at me yesterday as I was noticing them for the first time.  Kind of akin to finding your first gray hair in your once dark brown hair or something.  It was a bit of a shock to see.  What happened to summer?  The same thing that happens every year.  Time flies when you are living life.
     The air seems a bit more brisk and chillier.  The sky looks different to me as the days go by.  Yesterday I had a melancholy feeling about me, for many reasons but maybe it was partly  because I am in that "autumn" season of my own life.  Spring and summer came a long time ago for this Kansas farm girl.  I've been hanging on to autumn for years now :)  I am not ready to give in to "winter" just yet.  There is much to do ahead of me and I pray to be able to accomplish things that remain in my life.   
     One of the things at the top of my "list" in the days and months ahead is to get "the 22" where they need to be in order to be successful first graders and future "second graders" by the end of May.  Nine months seems like a long time to have to accomplish such a formidable task but in all reality it's just not that long at all.  Days go quickly and we have to be careful to not lose much precious time as we go about our tasks for the day.  I love those little people, ones with spirits about them that make me feel like I'm back in the "spring and summer" of life.  Children are gifts.  Blessings.  Each one of them.  Every single one of them.
     This is the 16th day of September.  What shall the day bring?  I have awoken and if you are reading this, then so have you.  There was a reason for that, you know?  Time to go out now and find it.  Have a great day my friends and family.   Peace to all of you this good day.

A beautiful Kansas sunset, taken earlier this past summer when I was home to visit my family and friends back in the Sunflower state.

The view from Cerro Summit, about 15 minutes from our home here along the Western Slopes as we made a journey one evening late to see the sunset.