as time winds down.....

Little by little, we are making progress in readying ourselves for the move that will take us more than 800 miles away from our home here in Rocky Mountains to the southeast.  It's been an arduous task but we are making it just fine.  I wouldn't want to do it every year but in the months prior to my turning 60 years of age,  I think I can survive it.  Let me rephrase that.

I know that I can.

When the calendar turns to the first of May, come the day after tomorrow, we will be down to the last 3 weeks of time.  Those 21 days will be most precious to us as we continue to pack all that must go with us, clean up the house and yard, and say our "farewells" to the people who have meant so much to us during our stay here along the way.  We are anxious to go and see what lies ahead of us but before doing so, we must finish tying up the loose ends of our world here along the Western Slopes.

This is the time of the year when lots of different folks are making the decision, just like us, to move to a new place.  Perhaps it is only across town or just down the road a bit.  It could be like us as we make the choice to move to a totally different time zone.  Whatever the case, be it 8 miles away or 800, the best advice I could give any of them is this.

"Travel as lightly as you can."

In our packing, we have been able to decide to get rid of lots of different items that we really no longer needed.  It's been kind of amazing to see what all we have accumulated and just how much we really can part with.   Mike and I are "2" people and for the life of me, I'm not sure why I've been saving that nice set of dish ware that serves 24.  We headed to the store a couple of months back in Grand Junction and bought a very functional 4-piece place setting of dishes that would serve our needs very well.  Both of us went through our closets and culled a huge amount of clothes that are never worn enough to warrant the space that they take up in our bedroom.  It takes less time to decide what to wear each morning when you have less to choose from.  Between home and school I had probably close to 4 dozen houseplants and I knew how difficult it might be to transport them to a new place.  I gave my geraniums away to a dear friend at school, tagged a few of the Christmas cactus to save for the journey, and plan to sell the remaining ones at our garage sale on Friday.  The list could go on and on.

Traveling lightly is less stressful.  Plain and simple and you know what?  I like that idea.

It's the early morning here and soon it shall be time to go school.  "The 20" will be there waiting for me in just 3 hours more.  14.5 days remain for us to be together and each of those days will provide the chance to make a few more memories for my heart to take with me.  I had no idea that they were waiting here for me 2 years ago when I came to stay.  3 years ago I would have never known there was any other "Olathe" in this world besides the great Olathe, Kansas.      With the utmost of respect to the community and the people of Olathe, Colorado, one thing I know now is this.

"I will miss that wonderful place and all the people therein."

                                    

                                 You never know where the path might take you.

                                 It's a long ways from this place to where I am today.

~as we live in semi-organized chaos~

Semi-organized chaos is about as good a way as I can come up with to describe the current state of the inside of our house here along the Western Slopes.  Boxes for moving, boxes for selling and boxes to give away can be found in every single room of this old farmhouse that we have called home for some time now.  By my best speculation, we are a little over half done.  The more that we uncover that needs to be dealt with, the more I realize that minimalist living is the way to go.  We who live here in this great country absolutely do not realize how well off we really are.  

As the days go by and our moving date comes closer, I have come to realize just how much I will miss the good people who have become our friends.  I am storing up a wealth of memories to take with me to the plains of Texas and I have come to appreciate and to be thankful for the "elasticity" of my most human of hearts.  When we were kids growing up, the places around the supper table were always full yet if another person were to drop by and need a meal, our mom would just skoosh us all a little closer and make room for someone else to join us.  My heart is very much the same way.  It will never be so full that there is no room for yet another loving memory to be added.  The memories of about a gazillion people and places are stored up in there now and before my time is through on this good earth, I pray to have placed many more within.

I have done much reflecting in the course of the past 6 weeks as we have readied ourselves to move away from here and head over the big mountain and to the south towards the plains of Texas.  I've taken many walks down that proverbial "memory lane" and some of it has been done by going through pictures that I have taken.  One in particular made me pause to remember just how fast time flies especially this school year, my last one in Colorado.  It was a photo I took about 3 weeks before school began this past August after I'd come up with an idea for using a special treasure chest in my classroom to reinforce the idea of good behavior.  I'd just come from a garage sale at the home of my wonderful friend Toni and it was there that I found all kinds of really great stuff that 6 year olds would like.  

Over the course of the last 9 months, that treasure box has been emptied and refilled about a dozen times or more.  There's been so much that I can't even rightly recall all of the things I put in there but it was fun and surely worth all of the time, money and effort that went into keeping it stocked and ready.  I think that the kids had fun with it and that was my intention all along.  Things worked out well.

16.5 days remain for those little people to call me "teacher".  It seems like only last month that the photo shown above was taken and as I look at my face now, nearly 9 months later, I can tell how happy I was at that moment in time.  What a great year this has been and even though I didn't know at the time this image was captured that this special year would be my last one here, perhaps I had a feeling all along that things might work out the way they did and one thing is for certain.

Life is most "OK".

August of 2014, two weeks before school began and the only time my desk has been this clean.

~wherever it should take you~

The days are quickly winding down, both for those at school as well as those here in Colorado.  Times flies.  That's all there is to it and each day that passes by is yet one more day to not have again.  In my heart I am trying to make as many memories as I can here and as I do so,  it reminds me of what I was doing just about two years ago at this time back home in Kansas.

As I was looking over blog posts from April of 2013, only a month before Mike and I got married, it was interesting to see some of the things that I was doing in preparation for leaving my life back there in Kansas.  Things like saying "good bye" to everyone, packing things to move with me, cleaning out my desk at school and visiting my favorite places one last time, sound pretty much like what I'm doing here in southwestern Colorado right now.  Mike and I have such a great deal that we need to accomplish before we leave and with now less than a month, we feel the proverbial "window of opportunity" closing quickly.  

We will make it.  

As I was looking back over my blog posts from that time,  I found one that was written exactly two years ago this day.  I was just a month away from what I thought would be my retirement (once again) from teaching and getting ready to be married and move away to the mountains of Colorado.  Little did I know that my life was not going to be as I thought it would.  God wasn't ready for me to "retire from being a teacher" just yet.  There would be two more wonderful years to await me in the little town of Olathe and now as we ready ourselves to move away to Texas later on in May, I hope that there will still be the chance to find myself in a classroom this coming fall.  If you are so inclined to do, please pray for me that the "just right" classroom in Texas will be waiting for me to get there.  One thing is certain.  

God knows.

I'm reprinting that blog post from April of 2013 below if you would care so to read.  My life in Kansas back then has a striking resemblance to my life here in Colorado right now.  If I have a feeling of deja vu as I go about these last days in the Great American West, it is probably for good reason :)  

Take care dear friends and family.  Please be well and at peace in life, wherever it should take you.  

From April 24, 2013

~upon the end of my swan song~

Greetings from my home in Hutchinson, Kansas to all of you, friends and family out there wherever you find yourself this evening.  As was to be expected, what a beautiful day it turned out to be.  The high temperature, near the mid-60's, was such a welcome change from the frigid cold, ice, sleet, and snow combination that we suffered through a couple of days back.  I wasn't quite sure how the weather would play out today, especially since this morning I had to find a big rock in order to chip the ice off of my frozen trash dumpster. But you know, as the day went on it got a little more pleasant until this afternoon when I left school after our 4H meeting that I was very surprised at just how nice it was.  I  hope that wherever you are this evening that the weather has been hospitable to you and that the winter's cold has finally figured out that it's not all that far from the start of summer for crying out loud!  

The calendar doesn't leave a whole lot of days left until this school year is in the "history" books.  With May 21st being the "official" last day of the year, if I did the math correctly that means we have only 19 days of school left.  Hard to imagine where this year went and if I had a dollar for every time that I had thought that at the end of a school year, well then I'd have $35 in my pocket.  It's always hectic during these times of the school term with field trips, end of the year testing, and that "summer vacation fever" that kids AND adults seem to come down with.  But no matter how chaotic it is, I'm always glad that I've been there to be a witness to it.  That will never have changed for me and for that I do give thanks.

I began what was to be my official "swan song" of being a teacher back in August of this school year.  The weird thing was, I didn't even realize that I was doing it.  It just seemed like a normal year to me, just like they all have.  As the school year went on though, I started to wonder if it might be the time to return to retirement from education.  At first I dismissed the notion, just believing that it was a normal thought from someone who had already retired 3 years earlier.  And I gotta say here, it wasn't because I was unhappy with being a teacher.  Rather it was a more a case of knowing that I STILL wanted to go out on the "top" before I became a grouchy old teacher who should have quit a lot earlier yet believed that they had to stay, for whatever reason.  I guess I would have to say that by February of this year, the feeling of perhaps being ready to stop being a teacher, was strong enough that it got my attention once again.  After a lot of prayer and decision making, I decided that 35 years was going to be long enough.  Shortly thereafter, I turned in my letter of resignation and I haven't looked back since.

I have had many emails from people since I said I was going to retire once again when school was out.  Many of them congratulated me on making the decision saying they sure did wish that they could do so too.  Yet, even with all of the emails from people who are positive that I made the right decision, there have been those who question the decision to quit teaching.  To all of you out there, regardless of how you would stand on that issue, I thank you for caring enough about me to say either way how you felt.  And to the thought that I will ALWAYS be a teacher, which many have suggested, I say you are right!  But as I have learned over the course of time, there are many other ways to serve as a teacher.  I think one of those ways perhaps shall be waiting for me in the future, the very near future.

So how am I spending the last few days as an educator?  Well, in much the same way that every other teacher, retiring or not, is so doing.  We are teaching our students everything that we can possibly teach them in the precious few days that remain.  Lots of great opportunities for growth and learning are still being offered at my school, Lincoln Elementary, as well as every other attendance center across the district.  And I'm making memories, lots of them, of my time with over 200 of the most marvelous kids that you would ever see.  My heart is full of love for them and even though I will miss them terribly, I know that they are indeed in good hands with the fine staff of teachers that remains.

My hope is to return to long-term health care for the elderly as a CNA as soon as we get settled in Montrose.  I plan to give myself a month or so of rest and relaxation before returning to work.  There are several very nice health care facilities in the area to choose from and I've been quite impressed with the one that is the closest to Mike's house.  In the months ahead, I also hope to receive whatever training is necessary to become a hospice care worker, a dream of mine for several years now.  God willing, it shall happen.  From one end of the age spectrum to the other, from those barely out of their mother's womb to those who are approaching their final years, it has been a joy, a great privilege just to work with people.  I feel thankful to have been blessed with not only the ability but also the opportunity to do just that.

Although few of the students know yet of the plan that Mike and I have to be married at school on the last day, they will soon be finding out.  It is important to me to have not only our families there with us, but also to be surrounded by a "village" of little people on that day.  And when my good friend, LeRoy Willis, walks me down the "aisle" of the gym, he will REALLY be giving me to Mike in marriage on behalf of all those kids sitting there amongst us who have been the greatest of gifts that I have ever received in my life.  I will never forget it, as long as I should live.  

I may be leaving one life, one town, one place in which I have lots of friends and family who love me and support me in my decisions yet I'm going to a place where the most wonderful man in the world shall do the same.  I've treasured this life as an educator and all of the goodness that has found me along life's way here.  I'll treasure even more my new life in Montrose, Colorado with Mike and remember forever the happy feeling in my heart when I realized it was never too late to find someone to love and be loved by.  I'm blessed~  Good night everyone and sweet dreams to each of you.

3 special reasons why I get up each morning and head down to Lincoln Elementary School.  I love these kids~

"with your eyes and your heart as well"

When I first came to Colorado back in January of 2013,  Mike took me to visit the Black Canyon of the Gunnison National Park which was literally only a few miles from his home atop a little hill outside of town.  I had driven right past it only hours earlier but in my weariness from being on the road for so long in the journey from my home in south-central Kansas,  I really hadn't even noticed what I was driving so very close to.  I still remember how awestruck I felt as I stood there gazing out at it and realizing just how very different the terrain of the prairies of my Kansas was from the mountains and canyons of Mike's Colorado.  As we stood there for a picture that first day, it was breathtaking.

There has been a lot of this state that has literally "taken my breath away" and not just because  I moved to an altitude of more than 5,000 feet higher than I had been used to in the flatlands.  Once I got over my homesickness and loneliness for Kansas, I began to see all kinds of wonderful things to look at each day.  They had been there all along.  I just didn't choose to see them.  Some of my favorite of images that I will take away from my life here in Colorado are shown below. 

That first autumn together in 2013, we drove to the top of Cerro Summit one evening and waited for the sun to set in the western sky.  While we were there we were able to see the world all around us and it is a gorgeous one at that.

The sun set and we were still there.  Strange how fast the time flew that evening and even stranger how fast it has flown by since then.

Sometimes all I've had to is just walk down the drive way and look towards the adobes and the Grand Mesa.  The winter of 2014 offered up this photo and as much as I have a disdain for winter and cold weather, some of the best pictures can be taken then.  

Here at home, the sun comes up

and sets each day.  The "Master" painter is always at work, whether you live in Colorado, Kansas or even Texas.  

I've been fortunate to cross over Monarch Pass safely in all kinds of weather and these beautiful trees are found at the summit at the 11,000+ feet level.   They looked as if they belonged on the front of a Christmas card when we saw them in late December of 2013.

Mike and I decided to ride to the very top (12,000+) level of Monarch Summit in the summer of 2014 when we were on the way to Salida to visit our dear friends LeRoy and Anne.  We'd always said we would do it and that seemed to be the day that was made for it.  The world looks different from that viewpoint.  

This is my view from along the way to and from school each day at Olathe, a small community only about 12 miles from here in Montrose.  Sometimes the views are even more beautiful than others.  The clouds come in and settle down upon the Black Canyon in some very interesting ways.  This has been one of my favorites.

Certainly one sight I will never forget is this one on the way to Ouray.  The mountains rise up like a magical kingdom there.  I took this photo on the way to the ice climbing competition in Ouray this past January.  

During the late part of summer in 2014, Mike and I visited Yankee Boy Basin near Ouray.  The scenery there was really nice and the sky was most beautiful.

Even though we are going to be leaving this state in a matter of only a few weeks more, I am sure that we will come back from time to time for a visit.  Although our scenery is soon to change, I stand firm in the conviction that the world is filled with beauty no matter where you live.  You have to be willing to look for it, both with your eyes and your heart as well.  

~as a snail swims through molasses~

My "list of 60 things to do before turning 60 this year" is no longer moving along at "snail swimming through molasses" pace.  As a matter of fact, things have been picking up rather quickly especially now that Mike and I have made the decision to move to Wichita Falls, Texas at the end of school this year.   It surely seemed like a huge list when I first began to compile it in August of 2014 but now it has turned out to be quite manageable.  In all, I've begun to cross off 25 of them and there are many others that will be completed before we leave the Rocky Mountains for our new home on the plains of Texas.

I've gone to Utah and seen the beautiful sights that state has to offer its visitors and residents.  Documenting the most beautiful sunrise and sunset of each month has been a slice of that proverbial "piece of cake" and they haven't all been from the same state either.  Colorado, Kansas, Oklahoma, Texas, Arizona, California, and Whidbey Island, Washington have all provided the backdrops.  I was able to see my children and granddaughter several times already as well as my Scott family members back home in Kansas.  At Christmas time I was able to go to Gander Mountain and the Spice Merchant, two of my favorite stores back in Wichita, and come home with teas and coffees as well as one mighty fine stocking hat for outdoor play ground duty each week.  My daughter helped me to find a really good deal on an airline ticket and rather than having to find an exceptionally good price for using a rental car, I was able to get my own new vehicle.  Ends up that it worked out a whole lot better.  I figure I might as well say that moving to Texas is certainly something totally new and it does take a bit of bravery to do so.  I've been back to my hometown of Haven, Kansas and spent time walking with friends and family members in the city park there.  It was much easier to learn the secret of life than I thought it would be, in fact it was one of the first I accomplished.  By my count, I've actually managed to finish nearly half of them now and my birthday, a celebration of 6 decades of living, is still 6 months away.  

I think I can make it.  

To "organize, organize, organize" as item #55 on the list tells me as well as to "downsize, downsize, downsize" as item #35 on the list would dictate is now the plan of action here in the Renfro house.  A couple of weeks back we started in earnest the process of going through things here to decide what to take with us when we move and what we will sell.  To see the inside of our house this morning, you'd think either an earthquake or a Kansas tornado had visited or something.  Neither would be the case.

We are just moving.

One thing that I've known all along but have been made even more aware of in recent years, is just how much stuff we all can accumulate.  I'm at the top of the list of people who have way more than they need in this life.  Each day Mike and I spend time packing up things in preparation for our garage sale next weekend and the subsequent day of moving in late May.  It feels nice for both of us to be able to downsize, get rid of, recycle or find a new use for the things that fill our home.  Less is way more.  Minimalist living is sounding pretty enticing to me these days.  I never once thought I would say that but that was before I truly realized the excess that all of us who live in America seem to have.

And as I think of it, the word "excess" is putting it pretty mildly.

One of the things that I am choosing to part with is my bike that I purchased for the Bike Across Kansas back in 2011.  I have had it for 4 years now and since moving to Colorado in May of 2013, I have only ridden it a handful of times.  Mostly it has hung upside down in the storage shed, getting absolutely no use at all.  Even though I'd quit riding it, I just could not bear the notion of ever getting rid of it.  Now I see how silly it is to just let it sit idly by when perhaps some other person could use it.  Later on this summer I will more than likely get a different one that is more suited to my present needs.  

It's "ok" to give that wonderful bike and a whole lot of other things up.

Every once in a while, just for fun, I check the life expectancy calculator online.  According to the latest statistics, I'm down to my last 26.8 years of living on this planet we all call "home".  There comes a time for all of us, me included, to have to make the decision as to how to live out our remaining years.  The time goes so fast and personally, I believe that my first 59 years flew by pretty dang quickly.  I'm guessing the last 26.8 will do so as well.  My desire is to live life to its very fullest, to not be weighed down by material possessions that I don't even need, and to see what else God has in store for me, according to His plan.  

Life is a huge adventure, one that is filled with ups and downs, twists and turns, and unexpected detours.  God willing, those years that the life expectancy calculator say I have "coming" will be mine for the keeping, those and even a few more.  If not, then I still intend to live my life to its completion.  The future is unknown for all of us, whether we stay put where we are or move away to a brand new place but for me, one thing remains most certain.

I am more determined to see what God has in store for Mike and I in Wichita Falls, Texas than I would ever be afraid of leaving our home in the Rockies.  It takes faith.

60 things to do before I turn 60~
Deadline Day~October 26, 2015
"On your mark, get set, now GO!"

1.  Try acupuncture to see if it really does help aches and pains and whatever else ails me.
2.  Take a hot air balloon ride, just once.
3.  Design my own grave marker, complete with a peace symbol.
4.  Visit the site near Silver Plume, Colorado where the WSU football team's plane crashed in 1970 and leave flowers at their memorial.
5.  Buy a good book, read it and then pass it on to another person each month.
6.  Actually GO to Utah.
7.  Go power-parachuting once again back home near Hutchinson, Kansas.
8.  Document the most beautiful sunrise and sunset, one time each month.
9.  Save a dollar bill every day until my birthday next year and refuse to spend them until then.  No matter what!  Then do something that will make a difference for someone else with it.
10.Convince zinnias to grow from seed here in the clay-filled soil of south western Colorado.
11.Discover the "secret to life" before I die.
12.Go whitewater rafting in the Colorado River.
13.Camp in the beautiful Rocky Mountains.
14.Walk across the swinging bridge once more in the Harvey County East Park back home in Kansas.
15.Go to the city park in my hometown of Haven, Kansas and just sit there to enjoy a nice visit with friend(s).
16.Stop to meet and visit all the good people who helped our good friend Norman Horn with a place to stay for the night as he came through western and south central Kansas.
17.Learn how to scrapbook.
18.Finally get all of my pictures organized and off the computer and my cellphone.
19.Have another great Scott Family Reunion.
20.Ride a combine once again during a Kansas wheat harvest.
21.Make a difference in the life of a child somewhere.
22.Carry someone else's burden for a while to give them a break.
23.Eat some garlic salad at Doc's Steakhouse in Wichita once more.  If you haven't tried it you don't know what you are missing friends.
24.Travel over the big mountain in wintertime and not be afraid to get out and inhale some of that crisp and cold 14,000 feet + air.  
25.Try sewing another pair of pillowcases once again.
26.See my dear and sweet little granddaughter once again.  Be with my children as much as I can.
27.Figure out how to worry less and enjoy life more.
28.See a concert somewhere.  Remember life when I was younger.
29.Try something totally new to me.  Be brave.
30.Go back and walk through the Laurel Cemetery near my hometown of Haven.  Spend time amongst the graves of people who meant so much to me when I was a kid there growing up.
31.Do something for no good reason at all.
32.Write a letter to someone.  Really write it.  You know, with a pen and a stamp?
33.Go to Manhattan Baptist Church back home in the Flint Hills of Kansas and listen to my good friend Dennis Ulrey preach the word and maybe even sit right there on the front row.
34.Go to Gander Mountain in Wichita, Kansas and buy something, even if it's not on sale.  
35.Downsize, downsize, downsize.
36.Continue working on a photo album I started back in 2011 by finding all of my Facebook friends, buying them something to drink and sitting down with them to talk about life.  I've only got 200 more to go.  I can do it!
37.Stay healthy.  
38.See the Dakotas once again. The land of my father.  Visit Mount Rushmore.
39.Learn how to make something from scratch that I would normally have to buy.
40.Find a really good deal on an airline ticket.
41.Find an equally good deal on a rental car, for a change :)
42.Think more about what is really important in life and spend less time worrying about things that can't be changed by me anyway.
43.Throw "caution to the wind" and buy $20 worth of hot tea bags at the Spice Merchant in Wichita rather than just the usual $10 worth.
44.Ride down Kansas Avenue in Haven, KS in a golf cart with my good friend Sylvia Davis driving it and my other good friend Dennis Ulrey hanging on for dear life.  It can happen.  Just wait and see :)
45.Learn how to bowl better.  To actually beat my good husband Mike once.  Just once.  That would be enough for me.
46.To see my family once again back home.
47.To do something kind of crazy with my sister-in-law Paula that doesn't involve the taking of dancing lessons with total strangers.  (and she will know what I mean)
48.To maybe raise a few chickens.
49.Find a way to be a hospice volunteer.
50.To not take myself and life so seriously all the time.
51.To do as Morgan Freeman's character "Carter" did in the "Bucket List" by helping a total stranger for the good.
52.Love myself way more than I do.
53.To find peace in whatever life deals me.
54.To continue to teach and make a difference wherever I might be needed.
55.Organize, organize, organize.
56.Keep better track of my cell phone, glasses, and car keys.
57.See my nieces and nephews that I haven't seen in forever.
58.Take one day to volunteer to do something that I have never done before.
59.Enjoy life.  Enjoy life.  Enjoy life.
60.Remember always the One who made me.  

My first summer here in the Rockies, 2013.  It was fun to ride my bike that day.  Time to find a new owner AND a new bike :)

~of my father's heart~

Medically speaking, my father's heart was very bad.  Before the age of 50 he had already suffered his first heart attack and in the years prior to his death from lung cancer at age 59, his heart condition was always a constant concern.  I learned at a very young age what the term angina referred to as well as knowing that the pocket sized tin of nitroglycerin pills that my dad kept with him at all times could well save his life some day.  To me it was always such an ironic thing that cancer would take his young life instead of his heart condition.  I guess I always figured it would go the other way for him.

I was wrong.

I am his daughter and when I started having chest pains at school on Tuesday of this week, I decided it was time to make a quick trip to the emergency room to see what was going on.

I'm the kind of person who prefers to ignore things like chest pain.  I like ignoring stuff like that in the hopes that it will, given enough time, go away.  But on Tuesday morning they did not and shortly before 8:00 just as the kids were ready to come in from the playground, I made the decision to finally tell someone about it.  Thankfully my dear friend Toni was nearby and she helped to expedite the decision making process.  My good friend Sarah stepped in to take my class and another good friend Amy drove me over to the hospital in Montrose.  Within an hour of my arrival, I was already hooked up to everything imaginable and when the doctors learned of my father's heart condition, they immediately scheduled me for a stress test to see what was the matter.  Looking back on it today, I am so glad that I made the decision to go.  Waiting was not a good option for me nor would it be one for you, should you experience the symptoms I was having.

I kind of like erring on the side of staying alive.

Now visiting the hospital, having a stress test, allowing total strangers to put needles in and hope they found a vein that worked was definitely not on my list of "60 things to do before turning 60 this year".  I was going to save that for my "list of 90 things to do before turning 90" in 2045  but it just didn't work out quite the way I planned.

The day might not have worked out the way I had intended but it did work out the way that God had planned.

I was allowed to come home yesterday at the noontime and I promised to do just what I said I would by going in and putting my feet up until Mike came home from work.  My stress tests, EKG and all the accompanying blood work showed my heart to be in fine condition.  The doctor told me to lay off the caffeine for good in the hopes of lowering my ever escalating pulse rate. I told him that I'd been kind of busy and that life had been somewhat stressful as of late.  He reminded me that stress indeed makes people sick.

Not like I already didn't know that.
A good reminder none the less.

I learned a couple of things along the way, one of which are the 6 words you least want to hear someone say as they are trying to draw blood from you.

"Well, that vein blew up too."

My veins were less than cooperative and the huge bruises up and down both of my arms today bear testament to that sad fact.

I also was reminded how sometimes the best medicine ever given to anyone who's feeling a little bit punk will find itself delivered via the heart and spirit of a little child.  One of "the 20" is a sweet child named Lizzy and that little one knows her Bible.  I spoke with her on the phone Tuesday evening in the late hours while I was waiting quite impatiently for the doctor to show up and give me the results of the tests.

It was wonderful to hear her tiny voice and in my sadness from not feeling well and things just not working out as I had planned, I said to her~

"What's your favorite Bible verse?"

"John 3:16", she told me back.

"For God so loved the world, that He gave his one and only begotten son.  Whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life."

Out of the mouth of a child, those beautiful words came and truly my anxiety and impatient feelings began to subside.  The next morning towards lunchtime, I was allowed to go home.  Today I went back to school and rejoined "the 20" and I promised that I would always be there for them.  They need never to worry.

My father's heart may have been physically in bad shape but it was also filled to overflowing with kindness and love for others.  My heart comes from him and I think that he would be happy to know that mine is still very healthy and alive.  He loved me very much for I was his little girl.

And by the way, I still am and always will be.

The finest man I ever knew was my father.  He died at age 59, the very same age I am today.

~as we say our "good bye" to Colorado~

It will soon be two years that I came to Colorado's Western Slopes to make my home here in Montrose as a newly married and newly (once again) retired Kansas school teacher.  On the 20th of May of 2013, Mike flew to Wichita, Kansas and met me in Hutchinson where I was finishing up my second to the last day of being a teacher.  On the 21st, the official last day of school for USD 308 of Hutchinson, we were married in the gymnasium after the last bell of the school year rang.  Surrounded by all of the students at Lincoln Elementary, our families and close friends and all the good people that I have known and worked alongside as a teacher, we stood underneath the basketball goal and were married.  Our good friend, Judge Buck Lyle performed our wedding service and when it was all over, that mass of humanity enjoyed cookies and punch together.  With tears in my eyes, I said "good bye" to the many little children that I had known in my years of teaching there as well as all of the dear friends that had become like my second family.  It was tough to leave them all behind but a new life awaited me with this guy that I had known nearly 4 decades ago when we went to school in the same little town called "Haven, Kansas".  

Life changed from that moment on.  

Our first 3 months together were a struggle as I suffered through some pretty serious issues with homesickness and loneliness for the life that I used to know back there on the plains of Kansas.  I nearly gave up, time and time again.  I began to question why I made this drastic change in life and seriously started to doubt that I would ever survive here.  Boxes that had been brought from my old home in Hutchinson were left untouched, the contents sealed safely inside.  I wasn't sure why I would want to unpack them anyways.  For the first 12 weeks, I really did not see a future here in the mountains of Colorado.

Mike was patient and kind, very loving and understanding.  He reminded me all along that it would be fine and all I needed to do was to take the tiniest of baby steps and one way or the other, we'd make it.  At first I didn't even believe him but little by little I found out that he was right.  We did make it and I didn't have to die to be able to say that.  I survived and I thrived.

The greatest blessing that could have ever happened for Mike and I was the day that I was hired to be a teacher up the road a ways at Olathe Elementary.  It was only a few days before school was to begin but it didn't matter to me.  What did count was that I would be able to find a way to make a connection here to the life that I had left behind 3 months earlier.  I went to work that first year as a fourth-grade teacher and even though I'd never taught a fourth grade class for the entire day, I made it it remarkably well.  My teaching partners, Erin and Amanda, stood by me and taught me everything I needed to know.  To those two women, I will always be remembering.  They had to answer some pretty silly questions from me but they did it time and time again and never made me feel as if I didn't have a clue as to what I was doing.  I found out that teaching fourth grade was a lot of fun and in the year's time that I did so, I learned a tremendous amount about the students I taught and myself as well.  This year I have been so fortunate to have stayed at Olathe for another year.  This time I've been able to return to one of the first grade classrooms, a place that I am quite accustomed to with nearly half of my years of teaching experience being in the primary grades.  Once again I have been fortunate to have 3 teaching partners who have helped me in any way that they could.  Amy, Sarah and Cali are very experienced teachers in the primary and to them I will always be grateful.

Now as the school year comes to an end in the very few weeks that lie ahead, it is time for a change.  It's not exactly one that was planned on, even as short of a time as 4 months ago but sometimes things like that happen.  Life is what it is.  One thing is for sure.

Change is inevitable and many times it is for the best.  

Mike and I are moving at the very beginning of the summer to the city of Wichita Falls, Texas where I hope to be teaching if and when a job should become available.  It will be a huge change for the both of us.  Mike has lived here in the Colorado Rockies for the past 20 years and even though I have only been in Montrose for the past 2 years, I had begun to get kind of used to it.  To uproot ourselves and head to a place nearly 800 miles to the southeast of us here will be a challenge.  There are no beautiful mountains to look at from the kitchen window but there will be other good things to see.  It will all be a matter of how we keep our perspective.  The journey lies ahead of us and even though it is scary to venture into the great "unknown", one thing shall always be for certain.

As long as we stick together, we will more than likely make it.  God's "master plan" is at work here and in its own time, shall be shown to us.  It takes a lot of courage to do this and a huge amount of faith.  After spending a whole lot of time on God's mighty anvil as He refined the character that I had become, one thing is for certain.  

I don't think He is done with me yet.  

January of 2013~
The Black Canyon of the Gunnison National Park~
Two kids from the "land of long ago and far, far away".

Two of the best friends that we have ever had together in this life.  LeRoy and Anne saved us from ourselves more times than I would ever care to mention.

3 months after we were married at school, we went back to stand underneath the basketball goal once again for this photo :)

My very first year as an "Olathe Pirate".  I am sad to be leaving them behind.  The good folks at Olathe Elementary made the difference in our lives.  They saved our marriage and I'm not kidding when I say that.  An entire school community threw out a strong "life line" and made sure that a very homesick "flatlander" was able to find her own personal niche among them.

And so yes, the view will be different.  No longer will the San Juan Mountains provide the scenic backdrop for our every day lives.  Yet there is one thing I have learned as I have grown older and somewhat wiser.  There is beauty everywhere you look in this world of ours.  It's all in how you see it.

These two women have become like my second set of sisters or something.  Never mind that I am old enough to be their mom.  They don't seem to look at it that way.  Nikki and Mary, for everything you have done to help me I will always remain beholden to you for your kindness and genuine love and concern.

And so no matter what happens~we stick together.





  

~and I learned it by watching her~

I have heard "y'all" a lot in the last 24 hours of being in southwestern Oklahoma and northwestern Texas.  Sometimes I have wondered if I still, even after living in the mountains of Colorado for the last two years, sound like I am from Kansas.  Geographically speaking, I've been around the proverbial "block" a time or two in the past 3 weeks.  From the great Pacific Northwest, to the Rockies, and now to the Great Plains all in the course of the last 21 days, I've seen plenty of new places and shared time with many fine folks.  It's been a good experience and one that I'm glad I had the chance to be a part of.  

Now it is time to go home and be ready to meet "the 20" once again in our classroom at Olathe. I have missed them and I am anxious to see them once again.  I had to be gone from them for 3 days in a row and I regret that part of it all.  I am fortunate to have had good teachers to take my place and learning continued on.  We haven't a minute to spare before the last day of school arrives and it's time to send them all home for the summer once again.

Life is interesting.

If I could have looked at the road map that the good Lord had planned out for a little girl from Kansas named "Peggy Ann",  I probably wouldn't have imagined all of the great places that He had intended for me to be a part of.  Perhaps the same can be said of all of us.  Truly, from the time that we are born until the day that our last breath is taken here on this earth, a pretty wide variety of experiences is ours for the "taking".  Each day we go forth in faith that whatever it is that lies ahead, we are able to get through it and learn from the new experiences along the way.  

When you think about it, what else can a person do anyways?  Why not be courageous?  Why not have faith?

It will be time to leave very soon.  Time to load up the car,  say our "good-byes" to my sister and brother-in-law here in Oklahoma and head west.  Please dear friends, pray us back over the mountains safely, to the other side of the great Continental Divide.  Montrose County, Colorado we will see you again very soon.   

Have a great Sunday everyone out there.  Be at peace with life.  Take care of yourselves and of one another as well.  If I haven't told you lately, I say to you once again.  Thank you for being my friends.  Where would I be without you?  In big trouble, brothers and sisters.  Big trouble :)  

From 5 years ago now~
My sister Sherry and I back home at Avenue A Elementary in Hutchinson, Kansas.  We both had made the decision to retire from teaching in 2010.  With a smile on my face, I remember how well that did not work out for either of us.  Both of us returned to the classroom the following year.  There was still plenty of teacher left in each of us.  We only thought we were ready to retire.  I have both my bachelor's degree and master's degree in education but the only reason I became the teacher that I am today is by watching the example of and being mentored by my older sister.  She taught me what it takes to be an exemplary teacher.  It is to her that I owe a debt of gratitude.  

~by walking amongst the living~

I wrote this post yesterday morning right before we left Reno County, Kansas and headed out for Oklahoma and Texas.  I didn't hit the "publish" button before we left and so this morning from the "land of red dirt", southwestern Oklahoma, I send you greetings and hope that everyone is doing fine and at peace with life.

It's a long ways from this place on the prairies of south central Kansas back to the San Juan Mountains of Colorado.  It's 611 miles of a "long ways" and even though it took us nearly 11 1/2 hours to get here just the day before yesterday, I'm thankful that we came.  It's always a good thing when you can come back to the place of your birth, a place that has provided such special memories in time.  I love this town called "Haven" and to the very last breath I take, if someone asks me where I am from, the answer shall always be the same.

"Haven, Kansas"

It is soon time to go and in just an hour or so we will head south towards southwestern Oklahoma and the northwestern part of Texas to stay for the next couple of days.  We have a few more things to do and places to see before heading back to the mountains by Sunday evening.  I'm sure we will both be tired by the time we roll into the driveway at home the day after tomorrow but we will make it.  I wish we had been able to have more time here but summer is coming and I'm sure that we will return again.  It's not like we live in Rhode Island or something.

There is a beautiful cemetery nearby in Haven and one of the things on my "list of 60 things to do before I turn 60 this year",  item #30, was to go there and walk amongst the graves of the dear friends that I knew from the days of my youth.  I do that kind of thing nearly every time I come here for a visit but this time the few hours that we had went too quickly and I was not able to get to Laurel Cemetery as I had wanted to.  I felt bad about that because I really do appreciate every chance I can get to go there.  I was afraid that it would take another visit back to this part of Kansas later on this summer to get that one taken care of.

But this morning as I have stopped to think about it, maybe I had the wrong idea of what to do. Perhaps there was another way that I could honor the dead that have gone on before me, to remember them in a different and very special way.  And you know what?  I believe I did just that by spending these last few hours here amongst Haven friends and family that are still living.

The graves at Laurel Cemetery, a quiet and pastoral place located between Haven and Yoder, Kansas, are filled with people who had the heart to call this tiny little town their "home".  Some lived here only a part of their lives while others never left in the first place.  My first dentist, Doc Voth, is there as well as Ida Epperley, a dear and kind woman who was the high school secretary for about a hundred years.  Henry Fisher and Sergio Albert are there too, both of those young men were casualties of the Vietnam War.  They were "killed in action" within two weeks of one another back in 1967 when I was only 12 years old.  I've always made it a point to visit their graves any time I have come here.  Cleo Weve and Anna Talbot are there too.   Both of those women were instrumental in my parents' restaurant business on the highway just a few blocks away from where we have been staying.  I lived here for such a long period of my life that I would dare to say that I know of nearly everyone whose final "address" for their mortal remains is out at Laurel.  An entire community of departed friends and loved ones can be found there.  I never feel sad when I visit that little cemetery in the country.  I only feel a sense of deep gratitude for the profound influence each of them had upon the life of a young and quiet girl named Peggy Ann.

The town of Haven has changed somewhat in the years that followed my departure from it.  I no longer know every single soul in town but am always thankful when I'm here that I know at least a few.  Even though I didn't get the chance to visit the cemetery, I did get the chance to go down the city streets and remember those good people who played such an important part of my growing up life.  

God richly blessed me by allowing me to grow up here and to be a resident of this place from 1964 until I left in 1982.  I won't be forgetting that "gift" either and in the days that lie ahead, I hope to return and visit many times more.  

I didn't get to the cemetery but in retrospect I guess I did the next best thing.  I honored the dead by walking amongst the living.  

My father, John Scott Jr., standing in front of our parents' restaurant along the old highway on the outskirts of Haven.  My folks found some of their very best years to be spent in that wonderful little town in Kansas.

~it's a funny thing about leaving your heart in two different places~

And so last night I laid my head down for sleep in my hometown of Haven, Kansas.  We had come over 600 miles yesterday, leaving our home in the Rocky Mountains of Colorado and driving for nearly 12 hours to get here.  The stormy skies started to surround us just about the time we saw the Reno County line and as the evening went on the rain, hail, and wind arrived as well.  I had forgotten what it was like to be in tornado watches and warnings but last evening I received my refresher course.  None to worry.

We were safe and sound.

As we started out yesterday morning in the early hours of 5 a.m. the moon was still bright in a pitch black sky.  The sunrise occurred as we were crossing over Monarch Pass and before we knew it, we were stopping for a bit of breakfast in Salida, Colorado.  One by one, we checked off the towns that we always go through as we cross over to the other side of the Great Continental Divide.  Gunnison, Salida, Canon City, Pueblo, La Junta, Lamar and then finally the Kansas border near the little town called Coolidge.  I swear that after making all of the passages that I have between Kansas and Colorado in the last two years that I could do this with my eyes closed and yesterday, I did mostly just that.

Thank goodness Mike was the driver and I was only the "some time" navigator.

We will have a busy two days here and then Friday we are off to Oklahoma and Texas for a bit more of a visit.  By Sunday we shall return home to the mountains and the following day, start a new week at school.  I missed "the 20" yesterday and even though I know they were in very good hands, it still seemed strange to be away from them.  I kept glancing at the clock every so often as I realized it was a reading rotation time, lunch or recess, and finally about 2:00 in the  afternoon an early release day for them.  We are accustomed to being together with one another, you know?  It doesn't seem right to leave them but sometimes I must.

Life is what it is.

It's a funny thing about leaving your heart in two different places.  When I left Kansas two years ago next month, it nearly did me in.  Even though I was newly married and had a beautiful life ahead of me, my heart was broken into about a gazillion different pieces.  I'm sure that I left a trail of blood all the way from the place where I started to the place where I ended up.  Kansas had been my whole existence and I wasn't sure that I could manage anywhere else.  The first 60 days were filled with loneliness and a feeling of extreme loss.  One by one, I marked those first days off in my mind with tallies like a prisoner would do on the wall of their cell as they awaited the completion of their "sentence".  Even though I can smile about it today, I wasn't so sure that my death certificate wouldn't read the following.

"She died because she had to leave Kansas."

I didn't die and as a matter of fact I not only survived, I thrived!

I owe so many thanks to my dear, kind and loving husband Mike for enduring those rough beginning 8 weeks with me.  He never once got upset about anything and continually reassured me that it was going to be ok. Little by little, taking the tiniest of baby steps, we would make it and you know what?  He was right.  We did.

At just the right moment in early August of 2013, God provided the "cure" for my homesickness and despair and it came in the proverbial "nick of time", believe you me.  The sweet and dear community of Olathe, Colorado was waiting for me to join them at the elementary school there.  Those wonderful people, the finest of educators around, became my new friends and family.  They threw out the "lifeline" to a Kansas flatlander who was floundering all over the place and drowning in a sea of utter despair.  Those good people were saving me and they didn't even realize it at the time.  It was no accident at all that we should have met one another.  It most certainly was not the "leftovers" that God had available to him at the time and instead of just throwing them all away, He thought it'd be best to use them up some place.  That was not the case at all.

He intended for it to have happened.  It was meant to be.

And so now that I am home for a few days in a place that I love with all of my heart, I realize that I have left behind a huge chunk of my heart in a school that I have grown to love more each and every day that passes by.  All told, I have taught in many schools during my 37 years as a teacher.  They have all been fine ones, each of them with their own strong staff who genuinely care about one thing and one thing only.

The children.

Even though they have all been most special to me, I believe that Olathe Elementary shall go down in the memory of this veteran teacher as the place that I loved in the most unique way.  To them, I will always be beholden.  Those good folks helped to save the new marriage of a couple of kids from "the land of long ago and far, far away."  I'm not too sure that many other elementary schools could say that they have accomplished that.

Olathe friends~I love each of you very much and thank you from deep inside of my heart.  For as long as I am around on this earth, I will always remember you.

It is quiet here along the plains this morning as I type these words.  The storms from last night appear to have gone away.  The tornado watches and warnings have long since expired and life returns to normal until the next storm comes.  You know, I really wasn't even all that worried or concerned for some strange reason.  I've been through many tornado watches and warnings in my life and even though I have a healthy respect for them, I'm not that afraid.  If you live in the infamous "Tornado Alley", then you have to expect them from time to time.  The storms of weather, the storms of normal and every day life are all a part of God's wonderful plan for the good of all who undergo them.

I shall always remain unafraid.

This sign will forever have special meaning to me as it reminds me that the road of life goes many different ways.  From this corner in South Hutchinson, Kansas it is exactly 611 miles to the beautiful San Juan Mountains of Colorado.

October of 2013 in front of the old Grier Pharmacy building here in Haven, Kansas.  I met up with my dear friend from high school, Annetta, at the annual Fall Festival.  This town is filled to overflowing with the best of memories from days now long ago passed.  To my parents, I will always be thankful that they raised us up here in this little community in south central Kansas. They gave us the best gift that they could have right here.

~they will probably remember that I cried~

The calendar has been letting me know a lot of things this past week and one of the most sobering ones is that there are only 34 days left in our school year.  Less than 2 months remain for my time with "the 20" and how grateful I have been to be their teacher.   The first day of school was only "yesterday" and I sit here this morning on what will be our first day back together from spring break and ask myself the question.

"In the years that lie ahead of them, after they have finished school and grown up to be on their own, what will they remember about their first grade year and the teacher who loved them very much?"

In my 37 years now of being a teacher, I've taught first graders for 18 of those wonderful years. I taught first grade for two years back home in Haven, Kansas at the very same grade school that I went to.  Then I moved 7 miles up the road to Yoder, Kansas where for 15 years I taught a combination classroom of 1st-2nd grade students that were mostly of the Old Order Amish faith.  I went on to Hutchinson, Kansas later in my career and taught one year of regular first grade there plus an additional two years of what used to be called Developmental First Grade.  

I know first graders.  

This year at Olathe I've had the blessing of joining a group of 3 other first grade teachers and together we've brought 80 students to this point in time of the school year.  Even though it had been over 15 years since I was in a first grade classroom all day long, it didn't take long to remember how to do it.  I have loved this experience and I hope that when the year is over that I have taught them what they need in order to be successful beginning second graders in the fall.  Of one thing I am most certain.

"I have done my best."

So what will they recall?  What will have meant the most to them when this is all said and done?  I have tried to teach them the joy of picking up a book and reading it, of understanding what it was about and why it might have been written.  I've tried to show them how fun writing can actually be and even though they are in the very beginning stages of being writers, I've seen their improvements.  We've worked on math, a lot.  I've tried to show them that math is everywhere in their life, not just in the classroom but away from it as well.  But even beyond all of the academic part of what is needed in their young and beginning years, I hope that they have learned life's good lessons and that is something that has been most crucial and meaningful to me.

They will probably remember the day that they saw their teacher crying.  They will never have known why but they were concerned and knew something wasn't quite right.  I remember that Indian summer day in November oh so very well.  It was two days after I had a long overdue mammogram.  I found the message on my phone during the noontime hour, only moments before I was to pick them up from the lunch room.  Thinking it was just a quick message from the doctor's office, I answered it and the words that came from the nurse's mouth will be forever etched into my memory.

"I need to let you know that there was a spot that looked a little suspicious on your mammography results.  The doctor wants you to go back in and have a sonogram to confirm what it might be."

For a moment in time, my world completely came to a halt.  There was no past nor present and there certainly didn't seem to be a future.  There was only the message, perhaps the scariest one that I have ever heard.  What would lie ahead for me?  What would happen to the children?  If I couldn't be here, who would teach them?  I really didn't want to think of what the answers might be and so I did the only thing I knew to do.

I cried.

All I have to say is that I thank the good Lord above for my good friends and fellow teachers, Nikki and Mary.  Both of them have children in my classroom.  I remember catching Mary's attention, tears falling down my face, and telling her to get my kids and take them to her room. In less that 10 minutes time, those two dear friends had already figured out a way to split the class up with each of them taking half of the kids with them.  They sensed my sadness and understood totally and they wanted me to go home.  I got it together, although I don't know how, and went back to class to be with them.  I needed to be there but if I got into trouble, those two women were just down the hall and they'd be there to help me in no time at all.

Nikki and Mary are just like that.

I sat there with my kids for a moment because it was the time that I normally read a story to them.  They were unusually quiet but I guess when your teacher looks like the world has come to an end, that's a normal reaction.  I picked up the book to begin to read it to them and then all of a sudden, I just stopped and closed it.  Forever I will remember those precious few minutes that followed as I gazed out to look at each of them.  I made my eyes meet with their eyes, one by one.  They looked sad too.

I had to swallow hard and grab a kleenix to wipe my eyes and I told them something that was very important to me.  I wanted them to know.

"Children please don't worry.  I'm fine.  Sometimes life is not always happy, just like I have told you.  I love each of you.  All of you."

And the thing was this.  Even with that tiny bit of information, those little 6 and 7-year olds understood.  Talk about lessons of life.

I have never been referred to as stoic nor do I think I would ever wish to be.  Even at their very young age, I believe that students need to see the "human" side of the person who spends 7 hours of the day with them.  They need to see the "people" we are, not just the educator who tries to impart as much wisdom as possible in the short 180+ days that we have together.  

It's important to me to do so.  
I will never be convinced otherwise.

It's 5 a.m. now and I've been awake since 2 this morning.  Much is on my plate in the days and weeks that lie ahead.  Time will soon come to head to school and see those little faces once again.  We have lots of catching up to do and many stories to tell one another.  It will be good to be back there once again.

I don't know what you remember about being in first grade.  Some of us have been away from that time in life a little longer than others.  Whatever it is that is stored away in your memory bank, I hope that one thing is at the top of the list.  

I hope and pray dear friends and family that you knew your teacher loved you.  That whoever it was, they did their very best to teach you a few of life's lessons as well.  

For me, it was Mrs. Hyla Bacon at Burrton Grade School.  She's now long gone from this earth but for that one year period of time, now over 50 years ago, I called her my "teacher" and one thing I know for certain.

A tiny, quiet and shy girl named Peggy was loved by her.