SO TODAY WHEN I WENT TO SEE DR. CHAN IN HIS WICHITA OFFICE, I TRIED TO REMEMBER THAT NO MATTER WHAT THE "VERDICT" WAS, I WAS GOING TO ASK GOD TO HELP ME BE GRACIOUS ENOUGH TO JUST ACCEPT WHATEVER HAD TO BE DONE.
The first thing I asked was, "Have you ever seen anything this bad?" His delayed response made me feel a bit uneasy, and he finally said, "I've seen worse but I've seen a whole lot better." The next thing I asked was, "I'm not your first patient ever, am I?" We both just about died laughing.
He's an excellent doctor and I knew that from the time I shook his hand. My dad always told me that you could tell what kind of a person someone was by the very first handshake you had with them. I'm glad to say that he's a great doctor who definitely knows what he's doing and has been doing it for many years.
After looking at my x-rays, it was obvious that I'm in big trouble, and how one woman riding a bicycle could do that much damage to herself in one short time, only the good Lord above knows. The x-rays show that the damage is "worse than extensive," and the only hope that I have to even regain even partial use of my wrist is to have more surgery.
So on Wednesday of this week, I am going to have further surgery that will hopefully allow me to regain at least half-use of my wrist's mobility. Dr. Chan is going to insert plates, rods and screws that will hopefully give my bones something to hold onto as they grow back into place. It's only one of a couple of fixes that need to be done to make things "right" again, whatever "right" used to be.
I should only be there for a few hours and then they'll send me home. I told him that I am a teacher and that I really need to be back to work by August 15, and he told me that there's a good chance I can be. He doesn't guarantee what he's going to will fix all, but he does guarantee me that he'll do his very best. Since the name Peggy Miller doesn't have "MD" behind it, then I have to trust someone who does have those initials.
While I was there today, they took off all of my wrappings of my left arm so I could see what it looked like. It was a very weird experience for me and the only way I know how to describe it was that it was like what a wounded animal would look like. I didn't even see at is as a part of my body anymore, rather an external fixture attached to my arm. And, you know, I felt sorry for that thing, but I didn't feel sorry for me. I spent a lot of time looking at and rubbing my hand and arm just to become reacquainted with it. The look is not the same.
I hope you understand what I'm saying here, and Dennis and Craig, before you start worrying about the drugs I'm on, it's only Lortab. LOL. But, it does put things into perspective. All of you, just think right now what you've used your arms and hands to do this day. We use them without even thinking and when we can't, for one reason or another, then we start whining and complaining. So I guess what I'm telling you is: be thankful for the healthy bodies that we all have and stop taking all this for granted.
I have to admit that the little "10-year old girl" in me misses not having a mom around to take care of me. When I was sick, my mom always knew just what to do. Even when I grew up with kids of my own, she often had me to come over and rest and recuperate on her couch. She loved to fix my favorite "comfort" food-an oven-baked potato with lots of butter and salt and pepper on it! Mom would be happy to know that her grandson, Grahame, has been the best helper imaginable--her "little girl" is being well cared for 24/7.
FOR THE SQUEAMISH, STOP READING NOW! I am posting the picture at the very bottom as to what it looks like now. I wanted to see it as a reminder to me how very fragile life is and how ridiculously stupid I have been for the past 55 years in thinking that nothing will ever happen to Peggy Miller. August 4, 2011, God gave me one more whack upside the head. I'm sure a slow learner.
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