Those of you who know me well, realize that I am a CNA as well as a teacher. It was certainly not a second career that I ever thought of doing prior to 2005, but economics necessitated my taking a second "part-time" job to supplement my teaching salary. I know I'm not alone in this respect, having many friends who have had to do the same thing. To anyone who has every taken on two (or more) jobs at once, you have my utmost admiration and respect.
Because my mom was living in a long-term care nursing facility at the time, taking their "certified nurse assistant" classes, offered through our local community college seemed to be the smart thing to do. So, in early spring of 2005, I found myself enrolled in the 12-week course that would eventually lead me to meet some of the dearest and most loving of friends that I've ever known in life, the elderly.
I'll never forget the day that I picked up the textbook for the class on geriatric care at the HCC book store. I sat in my car and thumbed through the pages that told of all the things we'd be learning to do. Wow, there was going to be a lot to learn~the proper way to assist someone in dressing, giving baths, providing oral care, keeping track of hearing aids, eyeglasses, and dentures, putting on TED hose, keeping the rooms neat and tidy and free from hazards of falling, assisting with eating and drinking, providing care for bathroom needs, and about a thousand things more.
And oh yeah, before I forget, there was the LAST chapter in the book too. It was the chapter that most of us dreaded reading....the one on death and dying. Friends, let me tell you, there's a very good reason that's the last chapter in the book. But anyone wishing to become a CNA knows that is a part of the job that has to be done as well. The sooner you can accept that fact, the easier the job will be.
Throughout my "clinicals" within the long-term care setting, I learned very quickly about what I'd need to know. Without going into details, because you can only imagine anyway, I learned to do first hand nearly everything that book had taught us. Some of it wasn't easy, some I never dreamt I could do. But I did it, and friends, may I say that if YOU had to...then you could as well. I tried to remember always that whoever I was giving care to was someone's little baby boy or girl once. They might have been someone's father or mother, sister or brother, grandfather or grandmother, or someone's very best friend. And even if they were NONE of these...they were still people who deserved the most basic of human rights~ to live their last days with dignity and respect. Holding onto that belief, that attitude enabled me to become the best CNA that I could have been and I'm thankful for that.
I made many friends among the elderly in the 5 year time frame (2005-2010) that I worked as a CNA. As a matter of fact, some of the best "friendships" in MY life have been made with folks at the very end of THEIRS. They taught me so many lessons from life, some that I had never even thought of like, how wonderful a nice warm and wet wash cloth might feel on a tired face~how tasty a dip of ice cream from the "outside" world could be~how refreshing a "spin around the block" in a wheel chair could be for someone who generally never saw anything beyond the four walls of their room~and how much a "treat for the senses" the effect that a hug and a kiss "good night" could have on a lonely person as they lay down for sleep each night. That my friends, is the "power of the human touch" and we ALL need that!
The friendships that I made were sometimes very brief, a fact of life and "death" when you take care of people well into their 80's and beyond. I knew that it would not be a good idea (at least on paper) to get too emotionally attached to the people I was caring for. LOL, that thought lasted all of about 5 minutes. I was blessed to take care of many of them in their very final days, their last hours of life.
One of the greatest privileges that God has ever afforded me, was to be at the bedside of those good people as they took their last breaths. I have been in the "presence of angels" many times over as I have sat beside the beds of those who are dying and what a peaceful and loving feeling that is. There is no greater honor, in my way of thinking, than to provide the last acts of kindness, of caring for someone. By caring for them in the end, I was able to accept the fact that death is nothing to fear and what a blessing it truly is for those who are MORE than ready to return to their home in Heaven. I'm glad that I learned that finally~
I learned quickly, with my feet "in the fire", how to provide "post mortem" care for those who have died. As a matter of fact, on my very first night of clinicals, only one month into my training, the person I was taking care of passed away, right in front of me. Our teacher, being the wise nurse that she was, suggested that there was no better time than the present to learn what we needed to do. And you know what? We did it...and I have done so many, many times since. And when it was all over, and my job as a CNA was finished, I have broken down and cried like a baby in my own sorrow and loss. Friends, the plain truth is this... I hope that there is someone there to cry for you and I as well when our turn to "go" comes around! That will be our blessing my dear friends. Least ways, that's how it looks to me.
Last night I opened up my "Fibber McGee's" hallway closet to put something away and that's where I saw them hanging up....12 pairs of uniform scrubs that have been waiting for me to return to my job as a CNA. I haven't been able to do that kind of work since my accident in August and given the current situation in my recovery process, I'm sure that I won't be allowed to return to that kind of work again. I think I knew it all along but just hated to admit it. But being a CNA requires a set of two strong hands....and as much "old lefty" would like to, the strength may never come back again. I would feel horrible if I tried to return to that job and caused an accident to happen for anyone I was taking care of. I've know the bitter truth for some time now....and tonight I accept it-I will never be able to do the work of a CNA again and for that, I feel extreme sadness.
I stand firm in my belief that everything that has happened to me in this life, be it good or bad, has happened in accordance to "the plan" for my life. Nothing happened by accident, nothing a mere coincidence. For 5 years of taking care of, befriending, and loving all of the elderly folks that I've met, I do so give thanks to God above. My life has been made that much the richer because of it. To all that I knew, so very long ago...May they rest in sweet and Heavenly peace.
My dear friend, Vera Ray and I at the Wheaton House on the Mennonite Manor campus in South Hutchinson. This was taken February 2, 2008. Vera passed away last year on February 2, 2011. She loved life and she loved me. I miss her very much still today.
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