As I read, I took notice of the variety of emotions that I must have been feeling at different times throughout the past 13 months. Anxiety at making my first real attempt to ride my bike across Kansas~Elation with seeing a former first grade student graduate from high school,~Grief with the loss of dear friends in death~Sheer happiness with FINALLY being dismissed from Dr. Chan's care, and a host of many others.
The majority of the posts have been easy to make; the words flowed quickly from my computer keyboard. With a little editing "here" and a little editing "there", each one was ready. By the way, just as an aside~there have been times that I may have edited a post a jillion times but after I actually published it online and reread it as if you are reading it, I have often found more errors than I realized. So if any of you reading a post find some really weird misuse of the words "their, they're or there" or any other "issue", rest assured that sooner or later I will read it again and correct. Those kinds of mistakes stick out like the proverbial "sore thumb" to THIS teacher but seems like I have to read it more than once or twice before they do.
Yet, for as easy as that 98%, the MAJORITY of my posts being easy to write, the other 2% are so very much harder. You may wonder "what makes a post so difficult to write?" As for me, any post in which I have to admit my shortcomings, my own character defects, my own inability to be able to follow through with something, OR just for those times when life doesn't go like I figured it would, well THOSE are the challenging ones.
Up to now, I believe the hardest post I had to make was last June while on the Bike Across Kansas. It was very humiliating to me to sit down at the computer keyboard on the day that I had to quit, halfway across the state, and say to you all that I couldn't finish it. It didn't matter if I WAS suffering from dehydration and heat stroke. Couldn't have cared less that I rode nearly 250 miles before quitting, I wanted to ride double the amount. In my mind, I only looked at it as defeat.
It wasn't near as "tough" to admit that I tried to jump a curb on my bike and broke "old lefty" as it was to acknowledge the fact that 3 days later, I couldn't even make a peanut butter sandwich. (That saga involved a jar of unopened peanut butter, a full loaf of bread, "old lefty" in the first cast and a whole lot of crying over absolutely nothing). And last summer, when I first spoke of suffering from depression from time to time, it was with great reluctance. "What would people think?'' I wondered. Turns out, many of the folks who read that post suffer from it as well. I only THOUGHT I was alone.
But now, well now I have a different kind of challenge to write about and it is certainly not one that I thought I would ever have to address. But life has a way of taking the strangest of turns and no one can imagine sometimes what truly will lie ahead of them. I guess that's where that idea comes from that says, "If we knew what lie ahead of us each morning, most of us would never get out of bed."
On the last day of March, now a little over 2 1/2 months ago, I made the decision to move to Valley Center, Ks. I left my home in Hutchinson and ventured out into the world, all 42 miles away of it. I rented a beautiful house from some fine people named Susan and Mark Rohlman. I made friends with a handful of people here and even anticipated perhaps thinking about going to work for the school system here in Valley Center somewhere along the line in the future. I drove back and forth each day to my job in Hutchinson and really, I guess I continued to feel like I was a part of two communities at once. Turns out that was ok, too.
Because of things that sometimes happen in life, and if it's ok with you, I won't go into them here on this blog, my plans have changed. And so today, Friday the 15th, I will make the journey back home to live in my house on East 14th Street in Hutchinson. Certainly not the way I thought things would work out, but indeed, this is the way that they have. Please don't be concerned for me because I am just fine and absolutely no need to worry about anything. Life's circumstances can "change on a dime" and mine have done just that.
So this morning as I type these words to you, it will be the last time from my home here in Valley Center. Oblio the cat will be ecstatic about finally being home as well. She wasn't really crazy about being a "Wichita" cat but sometimes even cats have to do what cats have to do. She and her "friend/owner/anything else a cat needs", Grahame, lived with my oldest son Ricky and his girlfriend Angie for the past 2 months. For the past 2 weeks, our good friend, Ron, took on the job of "cat sitting" at his home. And even though this move has been hard on Obie, she will still live the "life of Riley" once she is officially "home". I look forward to Monday evening when, since cable is back again, I can watch my two favorite shows~The Daily Show with Jon Stewart and the Colbert Report. The best part, the one that I've missed the most, is when I fall asleep about halfway through the Daily Show and Grahame has to say over and over again, "Mom are you awake?" Strange thing to "like" but it's Grahame's way to say in an endearing tone of voice-"Mom, you need to go to bed!"
I came to Valley Center to find out some answers about life and where it might be going for me. But instead of answers, I just came away with a whole lot more questions. Now THAT sucks! I remember once, when I was taking care of an elderly friend named Ruby, she often asked me this question~"Peggy, sometimes I wonder what life is all about. Do you think I'll ever know?" I told her that heck I didn't know either but if she ever figured it out, please to let me know. I was taking care of her the day she passed at the nursing home. In some of her last lucid hours, we talked again about that subject of "life". She had a smile on her face and I remember saying to her..."You figured it out, didn't you? What IS life all about?" I'll always remember what she said back to me...."Peggy you HAVE to figure it out on your own." I doubt that I will ever forget that conversation and even though it took place 3 years ago now, I still haven't figured that thing called life out yet, dang it!
Even though I was only here 3 months, there are many good memories that I will take with me as I return home to Hutchinson. I'll always be beholden to my good friends the Rohlmans who allowed me live in their home here on Abilene Street. What kind and caring people they have been to me. I'll never forget the first weekend I was here and the tornado season had begun for Sedgwick County. About 10 p.m. the phone rang and it was Mark telling me that the sirens were going off and wondering if I was heading to the basement. He wouldn't have had to do that, yet he did. So to them, Mark and Susan, a heartfelt "thank you". You two were my very first friends here in Valley Center and I won't forget you. And by the way, Susan is another former "Havenite" and how wonderful it was to reconnect with someone from the "land of long ago and so very far away"!
Can't forget about the 3 young boys that live the first house south of me, the 3 K's..Karter, Kaleb, and Keaton. It was Karter, the 6-year old, that was the first person to ever smile and say hello to me here in this town. We bonded immediately because he was sporting his own cast, having broken his arm 6 weeks earlier. When those 3 guys grow up and get married, they for sure had better choose wives that like fishing! It was always fun to listen to them as they told me how their recent fishing excursions had gone. Those boys helped me to feel as if I was a real part of their life and helped to alleviate some of my initial loneliness in the first few weeks here. It's kinda hard to feel lonely when you have a 6-year old waiting on your porch for you when you get home from school each day.
Then there's Ashton and his folks to the north. It was this young man who came over one day and asked if I could help him tie his tie for the prom that night. I couldn't but hey, it sure felt nice to be asked to do something like that. And just this past week, he stopped over to tell me he had finally gotten a job, after a year of trying to find something. I told him how proud I was of him and that I knew he'd do great. No matter where I ran across Ashton in Valley Center, he would always yell out to me, "Hey Peggy!" I'll probably miss that.
And finally, Jan, our good friend who lives right across the street. She never knew it, but during my first weeks here in Valley Center when it was really lonely at night, I'd look across the street and see her porch lights burning and somehow, I didn't feel so alone after all. Jan and her two grandchildren often walked right by my house in the evenings and those little kids, well they don't know a stranger. How wonderful it was to hear their little voices sing out "Hi Peggy!"
You know, all in all, Valley Center is really a pretty nice town to live in. It amazed me to no end to find out that paper bags are still offered for your groceries if you visit Leeker's Supermarket. I know, it takes SO little to amaze me. There are beautiful parks with a wonderful walking path not far from where I lived. Fine schools and teachers abound there and if your throat is dry and parched after school, you can just go to the Sonic on Main Street and order something to quench your thirst. And to the folks at Sonic, no offense friends, but you guys cannot "hold a candle" to a diet vanilla Pepsi from Bogey's on 17th Street in Hutch.
Oh and can't forget, Valley Center is only 5 minutes from the 53rd and Meridian St. Wal Mart. I have spent a lot of time there in the past nearly 3 months and thankfully, my opinion of it has turned out to be favorable. In the beginning, that would be the first 5 trips, I thought I'd hate having to go in there. The people seemed rude (sorry to the folks of Wichita, but my first thought was, "I can tell I am not going to like Wichita people!) but it got better. My opinion of the store and its workers changed the night that I decided that life would get better enough to buy 2 blue dinner plates.....and a young cashier named Christian rang up my purchases. He was the first adult to smile and be friendly to me there and I will always remember his face and name. Christian, single-handedly had the power to change my very poor opinion of the 53rd and Meridian Wal Mart and all he had to do was be his normal, "considerate" self. Way to go Christian~they need to promote you to store manager some day. If any of you reading this have any kind of pull with Wal Mart, can you pass that word along? Hey, Michael Wilde, I believe you have some "say so" with Wal Mart. If this young man ever comes to your store looking for work, be sure to hire him on the spot. Thanks...
I told you that instead of getting answers to my questions of life while I lived here in Valley Center, that I only came away with even more questions that were unanswered. Yet there was one thing that I did learn from my stay and it was a lesson that I already knew before but had forgotten in my haste to figure out life's mysteries. It comes from the "Good Book", and it is found in the Old Testament book of Jeremiah, 29:11. Loosely translated, with myself in mind, it reads like this...
It wasn't near as "tough" to admit that I tried to jump a curb on my bike and broke "old lefty" as it was to acknowledge the fact that 3 days later, I couldn't even make a peanut butter sandwich. (That saga involved a jar of unopened peanut butter, a full loaf of bread, "old lefty" in the first cast and a whole lot of crying over absolutely nothing). And last summer, when I first spoke of suffering from depression from time to time, it was with great reluctance. "What would people think?'' I wondered. Turns out, many of the folks who read that post suffer from it as well. I only THOUGHT I was alone.
But now, well now I have a different kind of challenge to write about and it is certainly not one that I thought I would ever have to address. But life has a way of taking the strangest of turns and no one can imagine sometimes what truly will lie ahead of them. I guess that's where that idea comes from that says, "If we knew what lie ahead of us each morning, most of us would never get out of bed."
On the last day of March, now a little over 2 1/2 months ago, I made the decision to move to Valley Center, Ks. I left my home in Hutchinson and ventured out into the world, all 42 miles away of it. I rented a beautiful house from some fine people named Susan and Mark Rohlman. I made friends with a handful of people here and even anticipated perhaps thinking about going to work for the school system here in Valley Center somewhere along the line in the future. I drove back and forth each day to my job in Hutchinson and really, I guess I continued to feel like I was a part of two communities at once. Turns out that was ok, too.
Because of things that sometimes happen in life, and if it's ok with you, I won't go into them here on this blog, my plans have changed. And so today, Friday the 15th, I will make the journey back home to live in my house on East 14th Street in Hutchinson. Certainly not the way I thought things would work out, but indeed, this is the way that they have. Please don't be concerned for me because I am just fine and absolutely no need to worry about anything. Life's circumstances can "change on a dime" and mine have done just that.
So this morning as I type these words to you, it will be the last time from my home here in Valley Center. Oblio the cat will be ecstatic about finally being home as well. She wasn't really crazy about being a "Wichita" cat but sometimes even cats have to do what cats have to do. She and her "friend/owner/anything else a cat needs", Grahame, lived with my oldest son Ricky and his girlfriend Angie for the past 2 months. For the past 2 weeks, our good friend, Ron, took on the job of "cat sitting" at his home. And even though this move has been hard on Obie, she will still live the "life of Riley" once she is officially "home". I look forward to Monday evening when, since cable is back again, I can watch my two favorite shows~The Daily Show with Jon Stewart and the Colbert Report. The best part, the one that I've missed the most, is when I fall asleep about halfway through the Daily Show and Grahame has to say over and over again, "Mom are you awake?" Strange thing to "like" but it's Grahame's way to say in an endearing tone of voice-"Mom, you need to go to bed!"
I came to Valley Center to find out some answers about life and where it might be going for me. But instead of answers, I just came away with a whole lot more questions. Now THAT sucks! I remember once, when I was taking care of an elderly friend named Ruby, she often asked me this question~"Peggy, sometimes I wonder what life is all about. Do you think I'll ever know?" I told her that heck I didn't know either but if she ever figured it out, please to let me know. I was taking care of her the day she passed at the nursing home. In some of her last lucid hours, we talked again about that subject of "life". She had a smile on her face and I remember saying to her..."You figured it out, didn't you? What IS life all about?" I'll always remember what she said back to me...."Peggy you HAVE to figure it out on your own." I doubt that I will ever forget that conversation and even though it took place 3 years ago now, I still haven't figured that thing called life out yet, dang it!
Even though I was only here 3 months, there are many good memories that I will take with me as I return home to Hutchinson. I'll always be beholden to my good friends the Rohlmans who allowed me live in their home here on Abilene Street. What kind and caring people they have been to me. I'll never forget the first weekend I was here and the tornado season had begun for Sedgwick County. About 10 p.m. the phone rang and it was Mark telling me that the sirens were going off and wondering if I was heading to the basement. He wouldn't have had to do that, yet he did. So to them, Mark and Susan, a heartfelt "thank you". You two were my very first friends here in Valley Center and I won't forget you. And by the way, Susan is another former "Havenite" and how wonderful it was to reconnect with someone from the "land of long ago and so very far away"!
Can't forget about the 3 young boys that live the first house south of me, the 3 K's..Karter, Kaleb, and Keaton. It was Karter, the 6-year old, that was the first person to ever smile and say hello to me here in this town. We bonded immediately because he was sporting his own cast, having broken his arm 6 weeks earlier. When those 3 guys grow up and get married, they for sure had better choose wives that like fishing! It was always fun to listen to them as they told me how their recent fishing excursions had gone. Those boys helped me to feel as if I was a real part of their life and helped to alleviate some of my initial loneliness in the first few weeks here. It's kinda hard to feel lonely when you have a 6-year old waiting on your porch for you when you get home from school each day.
Then there's Ashton and his folks to the north. It was this young man who came over one day and asked if I could help him tie his tie for the prom that night. I couldn't but hey, it sure felt nice to be asked to do something like that. And just this past week, he stopped over to tell me he had finally gotten a job, after a year of trying to find something. I told him how proud I was of him and that I knew he'd do great. No matter where I ran across Ashton in Valley Center, he would always yell out to me, "Hey Peggy!" I'll probably miss that.
And finally, Jan, our good friend who lives right across the street. She never knew it, but during my first weeks here in Valley Center when it was really lonely at night, I'd look across the street and see her porch lights burning and somehow, I didn't feel so alone after all. Jan and her two grandchildren often walked right by my house in the evenings and those little kids, well they don't know a stranger. How wonderful it was to hear their little voices sing out "Hi Peggy!"
You know, all in all, Valley Center is really a pretty nice town to live in. It amazed me to no end to find out that paper bags are still offered for your groceries if you visit Leeker's Supermarket. I know, it takes SO little to amaze me. There are beautiful parks with a wonderful walking path not far from where I lived. Fine schools and teachers abound there and if your throat is dry and parched after school, you can just go to the Sonic on Main Street and order something to quench your thirst. And to the folks at Sonic, no offense friends, but you guys cannot "hold a candle" to a diet vanilla Pepsi from Bogey's on 17th Street in Hutch.
Oh and can't forget, Valley Center is only 5 minutes from the 53rd and Meridian St. Wal Mart. I have spent a lot of time there in the past nearly 3 months and thankfully, my opinion of it has turned out to be favorable. In the beginning, that would be the first 5 trips, I thought I'd hate having to go in there. The people seemed rude (sorry to the folks of Wichita, but my first thought was, "I can tell I am not going to like Wichita people!) but it got better. My opinion of the store and its workers changed the night that I decided that life would get better enough to buy 2 blue dinner plates.....and a young cashier named Christian rang up my purchases. He was the first adult to smile and be friendly to me there and I will always remember his face and name. Christian, single-handedly had the power to change my very poor opinion of the 53rd and Meridian Wal Mart and all he had to do was be his normal, "considerate" self. Way to go Christian~they need to promote you to store manager some day. If any of you reading this have any kind of pull with Wal Mart, can you pass that word along? Hey, Michael Wilde, I believe you have some "say so" with Wal Mart. If this young man ever comes to your store looking for work, be sure to hire him on the spot. Thanks...
I told you that instead of getting answers to my questions of life while I lived here in Valley Center, that I only came away with even more questions that were unanswered. Yet there was one thing that I did learn from my stay and it was a lesson that I already knew before but had forgotten in my haste to figure out life's mysteries. It comes from the "Good Book", and it is found in the Old Testament book of Jeremiah, 29:11. Loosely translated, with myself in mind, it reads like this...
"For I know the plans that I have for Peggy", declares the Lord, "plans to prosper Peggy and not to harm Peggy, plans to give Peggy hope and a future."
By my calculations, and remember I am a charter member of the "I Hate Math Club", by the time my 57th birthday rolls around in late October, I will have been alive on this earth nearly 21,000 days. A lot has happened to me in that time...many good things and many bad things too. Yet I know that nothing has happened to me that wasn't a part of a wonderful plan for my life. I figure you have to go from one place to the next in this life in order to get to wherever your final destination shall be.
For now, hey probably for the remainder of the summer, I'll be busy getting re-established here in Hutch. The gardening season will have come and gone for me and the only flowers in my flower bed will be the 300 geraniums (OK, OK I am exaggerating on that number, but there are a bunch of them) that I brought over from Valley Center. God willing, summertime and planting season will return next year and I will be back at work doing things that I really do love. "Old Lefty" will be another year stronger and so all in all, it worked out for the best.
Don't have a clue as to what adventure will come next nor do I really want to know. Some of my best times have been those done with very little planning. Less time available=less chance of thinking of an excuse why I can't do it! :) For a roof over my head, food on my table, a wonderful job to go to, family and friends who love me in spite of everything, I do so give thanks. So today in the summer of my 57th year, June 15th, 2012 I say to you that it is a great day to be alive! Enjoy each and every minute of it my friends. I love you all.
My "then" 15-year old son, Grahame Hemman with his grandma on the day she came to say "good-bye" to her house on E. 14th Street. 8 years have passed since then~He and his brother, Ricky and sister, Ursela have all grown up now. But the "little kid" that still lives within each of them has fond memories of her house of 25 years. Who knows? Perhaps some day there will be little people running around the very same house yelling to me, "Grandma Miller, are you home?" Stranger things have happened you know!
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