I've returned to riding in anticipation of completing "Bucket List Item #4"~To ride the 20-mile Sterling 4th of July Bike Hike. I've been on the Sterling ride now for 5 of the last 8 years. It's always been a fun activity to look forward to and because it happens in the early morning hours, it's generally completed before the sun's scorching rays beat down upon the earth. The "bike hike" is put on by the small Rice County community that is home to my alma mater, Sterling College and to me, it seems like the ride has grown each year. The first year I went (2001) I knew absolutely no one. Last year the group of cyclists had grown in number to well over 100 and I was really blessed to be able to ride with a fine group of folks. And as I have said many times over, I can ride by myself and do just fine but it is so very much more fun to have friends along to share the road with.
A couple of weeks ago, I spoke of what makes a blog post difficult to write. There are a variety of reasons that certain topics are a challenge~having to admit my faults and weaknesses, not being able to do what I set out to do, and now adding to that list of excuses--not being the cyclist that I felt I once was. And I look at it realistically and since for me, I figure if I admit it to myself and go from there, then maybe there's a chance that come the 4th of July, I will actually be able to ride the entire 20 miles.
It's a weird feeling to have~ to go from the unbelievable idea of riding my bike halfway across the state of Kansas last June to now, just a year later, feeling as if the 20-mile "bike hike" could well be a goal that is out of my reach. And friends, believe me, it's not that I don't want to do it because I most certainly do~it found a spot on my bucket list because I thought it would be an important milestone in "old lefty's" total recovery. Now, I wonder about it.
August 4th of last year was a day that I will never forget and even if I would somehow, "old lefty" will always be there to remind me. 5 different scars from 3 different surgeries, a left hand that looks as if it has aged 10 years more than the other, and a left arm and wrist that will never return 100 percent to the way it was once before. Oh, and wait a minute....a huge smile on my face as I remember a conversation in the last days of summer school this June with a young man in my class~
Jamie-"Mrs. Miller, I forgot. I know you were riding your bike when you hurt your arm, but how did you do it exactly?"
Me-"Uh, remember Jamie? I was trying to jump a curb with my bike that day. It was in front of my own house."
Jamie-"Oh yeah, now I remember. Mrs. Miller, why don't you let me teach you how to do a "bunny hop" for the next time? It's a lot better. But you really gotta use your whole body. Do you think you could do it?"
Me-"I think I need to take a raincheck on the bunny hop idea Jamie. If I ever get hurt again, my 3 kids are going to ground me and take my bike away! But thanks anyways."
When I was injured, I really had no idea that I would ever even be able to ride a bike again. Forget pedalling 20 miles or even across the state of Kansas, I wasn't sure that I'd be able to ride from my front yard to the stop sign just 3 houses down. I can remember the good doc, Prince Chan, giving me the first of his many "frowny faces" back in late September as I asked permission to get back on the bike between my second and third surgeries. His response, forever burned into my brain was, "Ok, but be careful. I mean it! Really careful. One mile only and don't crash and burn Peggy!" I assured him that would not be my intent and I promised to be careful. But I never even really had the heart to go more than 150 miles between August 4th, 2011 and early spring of 2012. I wasn't afraid. I just didn't want to go through all of that again.
As I've been riding this week, I've found myself slowly regaining a little of the confidence that I lost that day. At first, I tried to be almost "over vigilant" as to the hazards of the road. In my mind, I sometimes asked myself..."If I had to crash, where would be the best place to aim for my body to land?" (oh yeah, like I'd have enough time or sense about me to do that? LOL) I know that's crazy but I found myself trying to figure out stuff just like that. Yet with each first "push down" of my foot, the fear seemed a bit less until yesterday morning as I set out in the very early morning hours, I didn't feel any fear at all. And for the first time in all of this week, I enjoyed the ride without the worry of whether or not I'd make it back home in one piece. It seemed like last summer, all over again.
So in the week that lies ahead of me, I have much riding to do. Beginning Saturday, I'll be riding 10 miles in the morning and 10 miles in the evening in preparation for the July 4th bike hike. When the day of the ride comes, I will blessed to be joining my good friends and teaching companions, Patti Mazur and Tonya Saiz. Those two gals are young whipper snappers (oh man, what an old geezer term) and I know that they will encourage me to continue on, even if the miles get long for me. It's a great route, basically a 5 mile x4 route around the city of Sterling with a great sag stop in the tiny Rice County community of Alden, Ks. And when I finish, there will be no better feeling than to see the Sterling College campus ahead of me as I return to town. You just can't beat it!
It's 5:06 a.m. as I close this post. I've been up since 4:00, an old habit that just won't seem to die out and I always chalk it up to being a farm kid for too many years. There are some, ok there are many, who think I'm crazy for getting up at this hour. They may be right :) Time to have my "usual" breakfast of toast and peanut butter and a banana. Sounds exciting, right? At 5:45, I'll be out the door, helmet on of course Amy!
I've read with great interest, and maybe you have as well, about the young woman named Aimee Copeland who was stricken with the "flesh--eating" bacteria that we hear so often about these days. 3 days after an accident involving a zip-line, she came down with the symptoms and now, nearly 8 weeks later, Aimee's leg, her remaining foot, and both hands have been amputated in order to save her life. It was so inspiring this week to read her story as her condition was upgraded and to hear the comments she made about this accident being a blessing to her, that she would be forever a better person because of it. Before my accident last August, if I would read Aimee's story and heard her make the remarks she did, I'm positive that I would have said she was crazy! Are you kidding Aimee, a blessing? But in my own way, I understand what she means and believe me, unless we've gone through her experience, we'll never understand completely.
As I have said before and will continue to say until my last breath leaves me, the accident involving "old lefty" is the very best thing that has ever happened to me and I know it. Life forever changed, my perspective on the fragility of our time here on earth was honed to a much finer point. Our days are numbered and only God knows when they shall end. I'm so glad, so very thankful that I made that very first ride to the stop sign 3 houses down last fall. It taught me an important lesson about myself and the lesson was this....I may be scared and have all kinds of self-doubt. Yet the bottom line is this, I still, even now 11 months later, am more determined than I would ever be afraid.
Have a good day out there friends and family...be sure to get plenty of fluids into you this day. It's gonna be another hot one!
What a great group of friends to ride with! The Sterling 4th of July 20-mile Bike Hike from the year 2011.
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