With respect to her wishes~

Good evening friends from south central Kansas where the high temperature, at least for this part of the state, reached 108 degrees this fine Wednesday in June.  It was the kind of summer day when those that were able to, chose to do their outside work either in the early morning or late evening hours of the day.  Before going any further, may I please give "kudos" to all of the folks who make their living in the great outdoors, year round.  Through summer's unrelenting heat to winter's unforgiving and bitter cold, people like farmers, city workers, mail carriers, fire fighters, police officers, and so many more daily brave the elements to make sure that life runs smoothly for the rest of us.  And I would be remiss if I didn't say that those of us who live in places where wild fires are not threatening our lives and property should be ever more grateful.  The news from our neighboring state to the west, Colorado, looks dismal at best.  Praying that the fires are contained as quickly as possible.  


I've been working outside a lot lately, planting and weeding, watering and rearranging things in my backyard.  While I was out earlier in the week, I went into the garage to put something away that I'd been using and came across something that I'd nearly forgotten about.  In the corner on a dusty shelf stood the old aluminum cake pan that my mom used for more than 10 years to bake, suffice it to say, more than a dozen delicious angel food cakes.  And as I picked it up and turned it over, I knew exactly what I'd find on the bottom~a message that my mom wrote to me with an old black magic marker now, well over 8 years ago.


"Do not throw away!  Use for planting flowers in!" the message read.  I was with her the day she wrote it and believe me, even if she hadn't used exclamation marks, my mom MEANT it.  Only a very foolish kid would have even attempted to put it into the dumpster and while I admit that I have done some pretty dang foolish things in life, I knew better than to attempt THAT one.  


I can remember it was one of those times when I was helping her clean out stuff here at home and all the while I was encouraging her to throw stuff AWAY!    We were working in the kitchen and I was busy going through cupboards that were stacked full of stuff that I really thought needed to be pitched. Some of the things she actually did let me throw away while other things were definitely in my mom's "over my dead body" pile.  The angel food cake pan was one of those things.


I remember saying to her, "Mom, remember this is the one that leaks batter out all over the oven.  Don't you think we should toss it?"  She didn't need to say anything because the look on her face told me the answer and the answer WAS "I don't think so!"  And so even though no words were spoken, I just put the broken pan over with the other stuff that she was saving.  Later, I saw her pick up the pan and with a magic marker in one hand she wrote the message.  The old angel food cake pan had been given its "stay of execution" by my mom.  It was not going anywhere, well at least not to the Reno County landfill.


I don't even remember how much we got rid of that day as she and I cleaned up the kitchen.  I will admit to this, and I am kind of ashamed of myself, once when she wasn't looking, I took a tall stack of old cottage cheese containers out to the dumpster without asking.  (sorry Mom...now you know) .  Hey, I figured a few were ok but 100 seemed just too many. Sure was thankful that it was "trash day" on 14th Street because I definitely would have hated to be the one who had to go out to retrieve them when she found out.  Not sure if we even made a dent in things that day but at least we tried.


As the years after Mom's death in 2007 passed by, I finally came to the realization that there was indeed a "method to the madness"of her keeping so many things.  She had been a saver of everything and I never realized just how much until I cleaned out the house for her once she moved into a long-term care facility.  Besides dozens upon dozens of old plastic containers, with or without the lids, Mom was a collector of rubber bands off of the newspaper, clean napkins from fast food restaurants, boxes filled with recipe clippings from the paper and magazines, as well as huge plastic tubs filled with left over wrappings and ribbons from her yearly wrapping spree at Christmas time.  If you added in the boxes full of old mayonnaise and pickle jars (always handy when she made jelly), the stacks full of old magazines and catalogues (of which she was sure someone could some day use), and a dozen address books containing the "former" addresses (and by that I mean REALLY former) of friends and family members, well you could sure say that we had more than a little to think about going through.  


Born in 1920, she was a "product" of the Great Depression, a member of the "waste not, want not" generation of folks.  No doubt, many of you reading this have similar stories to tell of family members who believed, because of their upbringing during that "economic nightmare", that you didn't throw away stuff just because you thought its original purpose was already spent.  Things were used, reused, and then reused once more and it had to be in pretty desperate shape to finally be relegated to the junk.  


The lessons my mom learned were carried with her throughout the remainder of her 89-year old life.  As her adult-daughter, it took me many years to understand the significance of it all.  With great regret, I acknowledge that I wasn't like her at all in that respect of being "thrifty"  for most of my 56 years of living.  It has been only recently that I have seen the value in having less and living a more simplified life each day.  As I have said countless times before in this blog, Peggy Miller is one "slow learner".  But once I learn something, I generally never forget it again.  


So yeah, about that little cake pan...well I drug it out of the garage and dusted it off, holding it in my hands for just a moment as I read Mom's now fading black magic marker message to me and to anyone else for that matter who would find it.  And I did what any self-respecting daughter who generally tried to mind what she was told to do....I planted geraniums in it.  You know how it goes...no matter what age you are, no matter if your mom is still alive or has been gone from the earth for many years...You do what she would have wanted for you to do...because you love her!

The summer after Mom died, I planted her favorite flower, rose moss, in the pan.  Some of it was still what she had planted from seed in the front flower beds.  

Rural Kansas school children and their teacher at the very beginnings of America's "Great Depression", the year 1931.  These students attended Harvey County's "Prairie Flower" school and were all taught in one room by the little short girl in the back row, left hand side of photo. And you can bet that teacher did it all without the aid of computers, modern technology, Smart boards, or cell phones.  And if there was any trouble with students, she took care of it herself.


 My mom, Lois Brown, is on the second row, the 6th one over.  She'd be the girl who looks like "I can be ornery if I want to be" is written all over her cute little face.  Mom and I talked about that photo once and she said it never took her very long to get ready for school each day.  When you had only two dresses to choose from and no shoes were needed until the weather got colder, well the only excuse for being late to school was...wait, there WAS no excuse!