From the "what doesn't scare you to death only makes you stronger" files~

Friends~just a word ahead of this blog post.  Originally this was published online last evening but somehow or another (I'm gonna blame operator error.), it was deleted accidentally.  Thus, I am reposting it once again.  If you had already read it before that "infamous" click of the delete key, my apologies for my lack of technological savvy.  I'd like to say I'll get better at it, but then that would be a lie.  LOL


Having a "senior moment" here friends.  I can't remember~Did I ever tell you guys the story about the first time I learned to butcher a chicken?  (For the squeamish, just skip on down to about paragraph #4, it'll get better for you.)  Ok, for those of you who stayed with me...   Learning the fine art of "chicken dressing" was a skill that I always hoped that I wouldn't have to have in this life.  I grew up on a farm where animals, chickens included, were "dressed out", butchered for the meat that they would provide our family of 9 people and I guess you could say that I was used to it happening.  I could accept it as long as I was not one of the "lucky children" called upon to help with it.  And you know, that system worked out pretty dang good for my entire childhood.  Our dad would give us the "heads up" as to when something like, oh say, the pig was going to be killed.  He gave us little kids plenty of time to get into the house, run to our bedrooms and plug our ears so we wouldn't hear it happening.  After that part was over, well then the rest didn't seem so bad after all.  It was a "win-win" situation for everyone, although I'm sure that the pig would have begged to differ on that opinion.

The years went by and I found myself married and the mom of a little 3-year old son named Ricky.  Because we had a place in the country, Ricky's dad and I decided to buy 200 baby chicks one spring with the sole intent and purpose of butchering most of them for their meat once they grew big enough to do so.  The weeks flew by and before we knew it, those fuzzy little chicks had grown into several nice roosters that were ready to be butchered.  Because I knew nothing of how to kill a chicken, I made a call to my mom and asked her to come over to help me.   Since my mom was what I considered a "pro" at chicken butchering, I just figured I'd give the honour to her and I'd stand by waiting for directions for the "after part".  Little did I know how that was not going to be the way it all worked out for me.

Butchering day came and by the time Mom arrived I had this funny feeling that she would follow a different plan than what I had in mind.  She took one look at the huge number of chickens to be taken care of and immediately said, "Peggy Ann, you are going to have to help me with the killing part.  I'll show you how to do it."  Friends, without going into the graphic and bloody details, can we just say that I learned how and did so very quickly!  Killing a chicken was NEVER at the top of the 10 things that I wanted to learn in life and it scared the living daylights out of me at first, but I made it.  Sadly, I don't think that in ALL of the history of chicken butchering in the whole wide world, did a person bawl like a baby once they killed one for the very first time,  but I did!  It got easier, but not by much.

I've faced a lot of things in this life of mine that were scary and certainly the Miller Bucket List has provided some "memorably frightening" moments in time.  Visiting the 5-foot deep area of the pool as I learned to swim for the very first time last year definitely was about as good as any example of "scary stuff".  I wouldn't have gone through that part at all had it not been for the truest friend I have in the world telling me that it would be ok and that I wouldn't drown.  Because I believe in him and his advice, I gave it a try and lo and behold it worked!  Making the 4,000 mile round trip to Maine in late May was an ordeal in and of itself.  I certainly had my share of self-doubt along the way as I ventured to the north eastern coast of the U.S.  Actually, I gave some pretty serious consideration to having one of the most giant panic attacks on record as I found myself making my way across 8 lanes of traffic right next to the sign that said "Boston-30 miles", but what good would that have done me?  What was I going to do, park the car in lane #4 and wait for the rush hour to be done?  I had no choice~it was a KEEP ON driving kind of moment and the truth is, I did make it.  And yesterday, well I decided it was time to face another fear that I have so I began to work on Miller Bucket List Item #5, "to learn how to shoot a gun".

My friends, I cannot tell you with 100 percent assurity that I can even explain why it is that I decided to add learning how to shoot a gun to my bucket list.  There are many reasons I guess, a variety of things that I considered as a I made this the #5 item.  I'm choosing not to go into all of it here, right now, but I promise to explain more to you later on.  For today, I guess I just have to say this....I was tired of being afraid of guns and friends, I have been fearful of them for most of my life.  I have never touched a gun, not even a fingertip on one in all of my now, nearly 57 years.  I have always equated guns with bad things and thus have steered far, far away from them.  Yesterday I decided that it was time to face my fears, and with the help of my life-long friend, Ron, I was able to do just that.

Well, believe it or not, it's me!  The photo was taken yesterday afternoon as I was pulling the trigger of a loaded weapon for the very first time.  I spent the better part of 3 hours at the gun range near our town learning my very first lessons in handling a firearm.  I went through around 200 rounds of ammunition and learned to shoot several types of handguns including a Smith and Wesson K22, an H and R Double 9 and an H and R modified blank pistol with a scope.  Shooting at a target 25 yards away, miraculously I was able sometimes to hit the target!  LOL...I wasn't sure that 55 hits on a target out of 200 was such a good thing to brag about.  But my friend Ron told me that he was pleasantly surprised as to how I did and that he was glad that he wasn't standing in front of the target.  Hey, I'm gonna take that as a compliment.  I made my fair share of mistakes, to be sure, and when mistakes involve loaded weapons, well that's a dangerous and deadly combination.  I have much, much to learn before I can even say that I know anything about shooting a gun.  But getting over that fear of pulling the trigger for the very first time was a wonderful place for me to start.  I actually ended up having great fun and could have easily stayed for longer than the 3 hours I was out there .

Reloading wasn't nearly as difficult or nerve wracking as I had suspected it would be.  As the afternoon rolled on, I was able to do all of the reloading for myself and it got easier each and every time.  "Old lefty" got quite a workout during the course of my time on the shooting range.  Those left-handed fingers went through some pretty strenuous physical therapy in that great out of doors setting.

In a few weeks, I'll be taking the 3-hour course offered at Gander Mountain Academy in Wichita.  I will be learning more about gun safety and shooting firearms.  Depending on how that all goes, I will plan to take an additional 3 to 6 hours with a private instructor in order to gain further knowledge.  Oh yeah, by the way...just in case you are wondering, I have no plans to get my concealed carry license, join the NRA or build up my own private arsenal here at home.  I just want to understand guns, get over my fear of them and learn how to be safe around them.

Well, it's been quite a weekend and quite a Monday.  Day's end is fast approaching.  I hope that everyone is doing well and before I say "good night", may I please encourage you to do something.  Choose one thing this week that you may be fearful of doing and start to ask yourself the question "Why is it that I'm so afraid?"  Are you perhaps afraid of going back to college after having stayed out for so long?  A lot of people are.  Do you fear talking to your boss about something that is bugging you on the job?  If you don't speak up, how will they even know?  Are you like me and perhaps a bazillion others and are not sure how to stretch your paycheck enough each month in order to get by?  You are not alone, not by a long shot!  What ever you do, don't give up EVER!  As the wonderful Red Green so aptly puts it, "Keep your stick on the ice.  We are all in this together!"  And my friends, now THAT is the truth!

Good night friends!  Have a peaceful night's rest and the sweetest of dreams with a wonderful week ahead of you.  Good night all!