I am still more determined, than I would ever be afraid....

You know, I wish that I had taken this "live like you were dying" kind of attitude a long time ago in my life.  To be right honest, I don't know what for sure prompted me to start thinking in such a manner to begin with.  All I remember is that one morning I woke up, looked in the mirror and saw an "old person" looking back at me and for what ever reason there was, I realized that "she" was getting older and that precious time was running out.  And well, I guess I have been on the "live life to its fullest" bandwagon ever since.  For the past 3 years, little by little, I've worked at accomplishing so many things from my own "bucket list".  One by one, I crossed them off much like Jack Nicholson's character from the movie "The Bucket List" did at the show's end.  The weird thing was that I always had about a dozen things ready to take the place of the things I'd already done.  It was my good friend Brian who said to me that I should never let my bucket go empty because "you cannot kick a full bucket".  I believed him and to this day my list is perpetually on going and you know what?  I kind of like it that way.

The first night back from Colorado on Monday of this week, I spent time reading through the devotional/motivational book I had purchased called "Live like you were dying".  Since I've read it about a gazillion times now, it's probably a good time to put it on the shelf and give it a rest. But if you don't mind, may I share one more page from it that has some pretty profound meaning in my life right now.  Once again, I give credit for the words below to the writers of the book, Tim Nichols and Craig Wiseman....Listen to their words friends~I've been there many times before.....how about you?

                          "What's the secret to success?" I asked.
                             
                           "Two words", he said. "RIGHT DECISIONS."
                            
                           "How do you make right decisons?"
                                       
                           "One word," he said.  "EXPERIENCE."
                               
                           "And how do you get experience?"

                            "TWO WORDS", he said.  "WRONG DECISIONS."

I'm positive that in my 57 years of existence on this planet that I have made enough wrong decisions to fill up at least one Stutzman Refuse waste container, you know the kind that they kind of roll off the back of the truck and charge you $170 to use for the week?  Wait a minute, I guess unless you are from Reno County, Kansas that doesn't make a lot of sense but let me put it to you yet another way.....Peggy Miller has made enough wrong decisions in this lifetime to have used up her allotted "quota" and then some.  Chances are good that some of you reading this, ok...I have to say "all" of you reading this have had similar experiences in life.  I hope you haven't had to learn the hard way like some of us (that'd be people like me) had to.  If so, here's a "hug" from me to you because I know how difficult those kind of lessons are to learn.  

Yet even as hard as it is to admit that I have "fallen short" on many occasions in life, it is with a deep sense of gratitude that I am the first to say "thank goodness" that I did.  The lessons that I learned along life's rough road ended up saving me from myself and kept me moving along the path that was intended for me to be on in the first place.  Now in the winter of my 57th year, I have begun to see where I really want to be...indeed, what my real purpose for being here is.  My good friend, LeRoy Willis, has a great saying that I think of often...."I love it when a plan comes together."  It took me a while, ok...ok...ok it took 57 years, to figure out what the "plan" was.  It's actually kind of peaceful for a change to know where one is going in life.  

Dear friends, one and all, I say it often but I say it again to you this night~I want to thank you for being my friend and for caring about what happens to me in this crazy life of ours.  I absolutely do not know what I'd do without you all.  Dennis and Craig, you sometimes give me "grief" about being a little bit on the short side but hey, I know you don't mean any harm.  I don't always agree with my good friend Brian about things like tattoos and James Taylor but it doesn't mean that we aren't friends who respect one another.  For all of the good people that I work with at school each day who continually support me and lift me up even on the worst of days, geesch I'd NEVER make it without you guys.  And everyone else in between, my heart is filled with love for the kinds of people you all are.  In Pennsylvania, New York, Florida, Oklahoma, Texas, Tennessee, Colorado, Nebraska, Arizona, North Dakota, New Mexico, Missouri, Iowa, Kansas and Georgia there are people whom I call "friend".  Some I have never met but that doesn't mean that we are strangers.  We are simply good friends who have never had the chance to meet.  Some day, I surely hope that will happen.

Well, it's Friday night...and we're nearly through the month of January.  Soon bedtime will be upon us and I know for sure that the warm covers of my bed will feel pretty good in the next few hours.  I hope that all of you are well, happy and the most important thing, at peace with your lives.  It's been a long time since I could say it, but I'm finding a great deal of peace with mine.  I know that life isn't going to always be easy, shoot that's a given.  But I'm going ahead with it.  Even with all of its pitfalls, we've all been given a pretty good life and I am still way more determined to press forward and keep soldiering on than I would ever be afraid.  I can't wait to see what is in store for me in the months and years ahead.    I believe it's going to be wonderful, the "best" is yet to come for me.  May the same be for you my friends.  Good night and good sleep for all of us.

My middle son, Grahame Hemman~it was two years ago this time that he told his mom that he was going to try his hand at walking the Appalachian Trail.  He came to our school to talk with the 4th grade kids about what it would be like.  I draw my strength and courage to try new things from him.  He's not afraid of anything :)