upon having to admit that it sometimes still bugs me

From the land of far, far away....

Vanity reared it's "ugly head" this morning and it gave me pause to stop and think about what is most important to remember in this life and equally so, what is important to not.  From the files of "what really bugs me once in a while", comes today's blog post and the subject is how vain I have sometimes become.

It all started late last evening when  I was looking at some of the beautiful wedding photos that were taken this past July when my oldest son Ricky married the most wonderful young woman named Angie.  Their ceremony took place on Whidbey Island, in the Puget Sound area of Washington.  They exchanged their vows in a lovely clearing, down the path from Angie's parents' home in front of a small group of their family and closest friends.  It was kind of like a "fairy tale" wedding of sorts and I was so thankful to be able to fly from our home here in Montrose to be with them that day.  The photos that were taken captured the moment of that special afternoon all the way from siblings laughing and carrying on with one another, to a much in love bride and groom exchanging their vows underneath a stately tree, to the fun and laughter of the dinner and reception afterwards.  And then, well then there was the photo, the one that caught my attention and made a frown come to my face.

It was actually a very nice picture and one that showed a lot of love between a mother and her son.  I had just pinned on Ricky's boutonniere for him and the photographer was there to capture the moment between mother and child.  Yet as I sat there gazing at that image on my computer screen, the first thing I noticed wasn't how handsome my son looked in his tuxedo or the love that I felt in my heart for him.  Nope, the first thing I noticed was "old lefty" and how different it looked, particularly the way the skin on my left hand is wrinkled up three times more than on the right.  And I shuddered as I looked at it with realization that man, it doesn't look so pretty any more.  For a moment in time I felt bad, really bad about the aesthetic appearance of that limb that went through so much after my cycling accident in 2011.  Then, I felt shame and it wasn't the kind of shame that says "oh my arm and hand look awful" but rather the kind of shame that goes along with "you should be glad that you have an arm left to do that for your son."

Friends, do you have trouble with vanity?  Perhaps not but I'd be the first to admit  that  I sometimes do, particularly where my left arm is concerned.  It's not like it hits me in all circumstances, in all things.  But it does from time to time and I don't like that about me.  For some of us, it's hard to accept gray hairs, wrinkles around our eyes, extra pounds around our middles or any other thing you might think of.  As a society, we spend billions each year on cosmetic procedures to do what we deem makes us look better, young, and more alive. As for me, shoot I can deal with "old lefty's" not so "straight as an arrow" formation but dang it, the withered skin on my left hand still bugs me every once in a while.  I thought I had gotten over that part of it but after noticing it as I gazed at the photo shown above, I realized that it's something I must still be working on.

But you know what, there's another picture I saw last evening and it's one that reminded me of something far greater than my worrying about the very aged appearance of one of my limbs.  It's a photo that shows something far more worth my thoughts and concerns.  Take a look below....

 Meet the beautiful and sweet bride that my son married that July day.  She is now my new daughter-in-law, Angie Miller.  Angie is everything that a mother could for wish for and I know how blessed I am to call her child #4.  The first time I saw her was about 3 years ago or so when Ricky brought her to Hutch in order that we could meet one another.  I remember that first time as she walked up the sidewalk in front of my home on East 14th Street, that I hoped she would be the one who would become my oldest son's wife and sooner or later, the mother of his child. God blessed them and He blessed me.  Come the beginning of March of next spring, my first grandchild will be born.  My heart is filled with thanks for the gift and I'm grateful that Angie carries that little tiny baby inside of her own body, protecting it and loving it even before its arrival into this world of ours.  God is good and I know it.

"Old lefty" has been through a lot and as the time goes on, I notice it more and more.  From the withered skin on still half asleep hand, to the "bump" that never quite went back to normal on my wrist, to the fact that from my left shoulder down the alignment of my body has pretty much dropped by 3/4 of an inch or so, hey it's different you know?  I remember with a smile on my face the little kids at school back home in Hutchinson who from time to time have rubbed their soft little hands over my skin and when I asked them why they were doing that, they always had the same reply....  "Oh I just love the way your grandma skin feels Mrs. Miller!" Hey, now I guess I can indeed live up to their idea and be most grateful that my "grandma arms covered by that infamous grandma skin" will indeed soon be holding my very own grandbaby.  Now that's a gift and I will never forget it.

Thanks friends for listening as I called myself out here and I suppose it doesn't hurt every once in a while to give your own self a talking to!  I think I just did that.  I have said it before and will say so again many times in the future.  I thank you for your friendship and indeed for the fact that you didn't choose me to include in your life because I was perfect because oh my goodness that's never going to be case.  Oh yeah, and the reason that I chose you as friends had nothing to do with what you looked like on the outside, how much money you make, where you live, or what knowing you can do for me.  I choose you, each and everyone of you, for what is on the inside of you....your kind and loving hearts.  May God bless you today on this Friday, the 15th day of November of 2013.


Where did 30 years go? These 3 little people, all from the same town of Haven, Ks., born on the same day in 1980.  This was the occasion of their third birthday party.  None of the mothers knew one another even though we lived close by each other and passed one another on the street all the time.  We became friends and the mothers of 3 great children. Can't hardly imagine that the guy on the right, the one that I belong to, will soon be a parent himself.