~in my mother's eyes~

When my father passed away from lung cancer in 1982, he was only 59 years old.  He was the same age that I am and even though it didn't really seem so at the time, I now realize how very young he was.  I guess that happens when a daughter catches up to her own parent's age.  

My mother entered widowhood at the age of 61 and in her eyes the world became a much different place, one that she would have to navigate basically on her own.  Oh sure, she had 6 children and a passle of grandchildren who would gladly help her whenever she needed them.  Yet truly when it was all said and done, my mom would find herself alone in that small home on East 14th Street in Hutchinson, Kansas.  If she was going to survive then one thing was for sure.

She would have to learn to fend for herself.  

My folks had just moved into their house two months prior and in a way it was a blessing that my dad only lived 8 weeks there.  Mom didn't have time to get used to him living in that house with her and see him sitting on the sofa or having supper at the kitchen table.  When the cancer advanced from his lungs to his brain, it became time for him to go to the hospital so that the doctor could determine the best course of action to take.  Dad was there only a week before he died that Saturday morning in mid-December and life for my mom would never be the same.

Mom had many decisions to make in the days and weeks that would lie ahead and a great deal of them were of the financial nature.  She was only 61 and not even old enough yet to draw her own social security.  There were hospital and funeral bills to pay as well as the normal day to day expenses that we all incur.  Money was tight, perhaps tighter than it had ever been for her.  She would need to find a job somewhere to bring in extra cash to supplement my father's meager social security benefits.  Of necessity,  my mom developed a plan for herself.  She came up with the idea to earn a home health aide certificate from the local junior college and so 45 years after she had graduated from high school, Lois Scott returned to school.

It wasn't easy.  Shoot just getting her transcript from Halstead High School was a miraculous feat in and of itself.  Records were kept a little differently back in 1937 but she managed to procure a copy of her high school work and began taking classes weekly at Hutchinson Community College, only a few blocks away from her home.  She went to school regularly, studied even harder than she would have asked her own kids to, and passed all of the required tests.  In the spring of her 62nd year she began a career that would last for nearly a decade.  It hadn't been a piece of that proverbial "cake" but she did it regardless and for that example of courage and hard work, I am beholden.

I have thought of her many times in the past couple of weeks.  Even though she has been gone now for nearly 7 years, I still wish that I could sit down with her and just talk from time to time about life and especially about school.  There is so much for me to learn to be prepared for in my new teaching assignment this year.  120+ students rotating in and out of my English classroom all day long will be a huge challenge and at times I have been rather anxious about whether or not I can rise to the occasion.  I have a battery of tests that I must prepare for and pass in order to secure my Texas license for an additional 5 years.  It could be a little stressful.  So much lies ahead of me and sometimes it gets a little overwhelming but then I think of my mom.

It must have been pretty overwhelming for her too.  She and my dad were married for 42 years and the decisions they faced were pretty much made as a couple.  Even though times were hard more than they were easy, they stuck together.  They toughed it out always and when it was done and she found herself alone,  Mom did the only thing she could have.

She continued on and just like my good friend Norman who walked across America last year, she did not quit.

So in the weeks and months that lie ahead for me as I begin my new assignment, I am going to remember my mom and the example she left for me to reflect upon at this time of my life.  Even though she is now gone from this earth and in her Heavenly home, I still believe that in spirit my mom will be with me there in my classroom and when I need a "shot of courage" as I try new things, it will be as if her hand is upon my shoulder, telling me as only she could.

"Don't worry Peggy Ann.  You are doing just fine."
And if my mom could say that, then who am I to think differently?

I am so blessed to have an older sister to be my mentor not only in affairs of my classroom but in life as well.  It was wonderful to have a visit from her today along with my niece Brandy who is also a teacher here in Texas.  Between the 3 of us in this photo we have about 100 years of classroom experience :)