The View From a Different Window: ~and she wrote of all that she did have~

Last night I dreamt of my mom. Every once in a while I will do that and the dream pretty much is always the same. She's a little younger than she was when she passed away, as evidenced by her head of dark auburn hair. Never a time goes by that she is not beautiful and happy. Mostly my mother doesn't say much, preferring to spend her time smiling and watching me. As quickly as she arrives in my sleep, she is gone. I wake up wondering why in the world I even had that dream. Perhaps it is because I'm trying to sell my house back in Kansas which was her home to begin with. Maybe it's just that I needed to see her, if only for a short time while I slept.

Just a few hours ago she was there.

My mom was a journal keeper and she made a very routine practice of jotting down a page or two each night before she went to bed. I got her started doing that 17 years ago when I gave her a journal as a Christmas gift in 1998. I asked her to write down some of the things that happened each day so that in the future we could all read it and remember together. I figured I'd meet some resistance on her part but surprisingly enough, she got started that very day.

She must have written 5 or 6 journals in all. After she passed away I boxed them all up. At first it was too sad to read them so I kept them tucked away in the closet. As time went on it became easier to think about looking through them once again, so out they came. They are now on a bookshelf and every once in a while I open one up.

I picked one of her journals up this morning as I awoke and while drinking the first cup of coffee for this good day, I reread some of her words. I was amazed to read her thoughts and even more astonished to realize just how much I am getting to be like her.

My mother wrote of simple things.

Ordinary things.

Everyday, run of the mill things.

And that's something that I liked about her.

When Mom put her pen to the paper, it was to tell of what she made for supper, like roast beef and gravy or a good apple cobbler. She told of every visitor she had that day and who had called her on the phone to check in. She told of how her health was doing and many times it was to admit how weak she felt or how badly her spinal stenosis ridden back was doing. I know that my mom struggled financially as any older person does while living on monthly checks from the government. Yet as I read her words, not once have I ever encountered her complaining or worrying about not having enough to get by. It was always quite the opposite.

She wrote of all that she did have.

And I liked that about her too.

My mom has been gone from this earth now for over 8 years but I'm still learning lessons from her. Sometimes the lessons are on paper and sometimes they are delivered while I sleep. No matter how I receive them, I am always most grateful.

"November 8, 1998"

Sunday-I went to church today. It's still cloudy and the forecast is for rain. Didn't do much today but come home from church, eat lunch and then slept awhile afterwards. Football game on TV ran late so all of my good shows didn't get over until late. My back hurt today but maybe tomorrow it will be better.

The simple words of an extraordinary woman.

~my mom~