~and because sometimes you just have to go home~

Sometimes you have to go home, you know?

Leastwise, that's the way it was for me yesterday.  In the early morning hours, I made the 5 hour journey to the north and drove to south central Kansas.  It was the place I called my home for nearly 57 years of life.  I left it 3 years ago when I got married to Mike and settled down with him for the next two years in the southwestern Colorado community called Montrose. Last we year we moved on to a new life here along the Red River in northern Texas.  It's been a while since that all happened and even as happy as I am here in my new home, one thing still remains.

Sometimes I get lonely for Kansas.
Sometimes I just have to go home.

It is wonderful to be able to hop in the car and basically head north and get back there in 5 hours or less.  While we were living in Colorado, our trips took nearly 11-12 hours and thus, we didn't make them nearly as often as we do now.  Crossing over Monarch Pass was always a challenge but never once did we have trouble.  For that miracle, I have always given thanks. The plains of Texas (at least this part of it) remind me ever so much of the plains of Kansas.  It's kind of/sort of like living there once again, but not really.  

Texas is not Kansas.  It was never meant to be.

For several weeks now, I've been experiencing this little feeling inside of me that always indicates it's time to go back and see how things are going there.  I knew that I couldn't stay long and these two days were basically my only open window.  So I went and I'm glad that I did.

Kansas was the place that raised me up and its people are the ones who cared about the shy, young girl I used to be.  The little Reno County town of Haven had a huge part in my upbringing and I had to get a whole lot older to realize it and to be thankful.  I stopped there first thing yesterday to take a few pictures and to pause and remember.  It was worth driving all those miles to see it once again.

I remember well the 16-year old girl that I used to be.  She was positive that she would never leave Haven, Kansas.  For the longest time, she did not.  

The robin's egg blue Kansas sky was filled with huge bunches of white, marshmallowy clouds in it.  I was drawn immediately to the downtown area where I knew I'd find this skyscraper of sorts.  As I stood there watching the elevator, my mind drifted back to a time long ago when I sat inside of my father's wheat truck and waited in line with him to dump his load of harvested grain.  For just that little moment, I could almost imagine the way my father's hands would look as they gripped the steering wheel while he waited.  My mother told me once that I have my father's hands and I believe that is something to be proud of.  My father knew how to work hard.

I got many things accomplished in the short time I was there.  Not only did I get the chance to visit with dear friends and family in Hutchinson, I also got the opportunity to journey to the east towards the town of Halstead, Kansas.  My sweet aunt who is now nearly 103 years old lives there and how happy I was to sit by her and hold her hand to visit.  I was more than grateful to have my daughter along with me to take care of all the driving!  After being behind the wheel for 5 hours, I was glad to let her take over the job of getting us there and back.  We also went out to the cemetery in order to pay respects to all of my family members that have gone on before us.  I try to get out there as often as I can because as a small child, I was  taught to honor and remember the dead.  The cemetery north of town is where my folks, a brother and sister, a niece, grandparents, aunts and uncles, and cousins are all buried.  I honored them yesterday by paying a visit.  It felt nice to do so.  Sometimes I just need to stand by my parents' graves and tell them thank you and that I love them still.

The time went way too quickly as it always does.  Before the day got away from me yesterday, I made sure to pay a visit to a great little store that is on South Main Street in Hutchinson.  I wanted to go there because they have one massive display of just about any kind of candy under the sun.  I wanted to be sure to pick up enough to take care of my new students for at least a week's worth of time.  They won't be disappointed.  

I came back with aplenty.

This morning I got up rather early to start back for home after getting only about 5 of hours of sleep last night.  I was afraid I would be tired as I drove home but thankfully I made it just fine. I turned up the AC and cranked up the 70's station, navigating myself the over 300 miles back home.  By the time I got back to Burkburnett, it was nearly 1 p.m. and only then did I start to feel tired.  It won't take me long to get to sleep tonight.  If I sat here at the table much longer, it wouldn't take much for me to close my eyes in slumber.

So Kansas, my dear sweet state, I am so glad I came to see you.  I'm happy that I soaked up all that I could of you in the past 36 hours or so.  My heart is even more full this afternoon than it already was yesterday morning before I pulled out of the driveway.  I'll be back another time very soon as I remember a good lesson that I have learned.

Don't ever forget the people who raised you and remember always where you came from.
For me, it was the fine folks of a placed called Haven.
If a person could be in love with a little town, then I most surely am with that one.