"I want to let you in on a little secret everyone. I don't tell very many people about it, but I think you guys should know it." Their ears perked up to listen and their eyes were upon mine. "I want you to know that I understand the struggles that you are having in math from time to time. When I was in the 5th grade, math was so very difficult for me. I hated it as a matter of fact. I could not make sense of it for the life of me and I didn't understand it like all the other kids seemed to. I hated it so much that I made up a club in my mind. It was called "The I Hate Math Club of 5th Grade" and I was its president and a charter member." They looked at me in amazement and I'm not quite sure they all believed me. There were smiles on their faces and several of them kind of laughed.
I went on to tell them that my dislike for mathematics carried on well into high school. I never felt like I was the genius that I perceived many of my friends to be. I struggled my way through barely making a grade of "C" and always thankful to have at least received that particular mark. It could have been so much worse. At least by the time I made it into college, math seemed to become more meaningful to me. One thing for sure, my attitude about it all began to change.
Math got better.
The third graders have been working very, very hard to prepare for our state assessments in reading and math. There are hard working after school tutorial groups that continue on together well after the buses leave at 2:50 each day. It's nearly 4:15 before students go home. My brain is filled to the brim each day with numbers and vocabulary words that students will more than likely see. I know that the kids are growing weary and the truth of the matter is this.
So am I.
I told the kids that there is a little "9 year old girl" who still lives within me. Every once in a while that little girl gives me a nudge, especially when I see anyone struggling. It is then that I remember the difficulties that a little girl named Peggy Ann once had in a subject that they used to call arithmetic. I can empathize with their struggles as they come across concepts that make absolutely no sense to them. Their tears used to be my tears; their test anxiety once belonged to me as well. I know how they must be feeling.
Really, I do.
I have always believed that students need to understand that their teachers are human beings too. I reminded them that if they ever had a teacher who said that they knew everything they were supposed to know, that would more often than not be a non-truth. Sometimes school was a challenge for me and more than likely in the years to follow, that fact would prove to be the greatest of attributes that I could bring to that proverbial table of teacher-student learning.
So to those in my class who sometimes struggle not only with math but any other subject, I tell them to never give up. I remind them to continue to learn from their mistakes and those things which they might perceive as failure, are really just the stepping stones to gaining the understanding of it all.
I can't really say that I adore math, leastwise not like I love spelling or writing, but I have learned how to stick with it and apply the knowledge I have gained into many facets of my life. It took a while for me to get there but when the time was right, I found that level of tolerance.
My membership from 5th grade has now expired and I laugh to remember the time that a quiet little girl named Peggy had such disdain for numbers. Little did I know that in the years to come, I would share that experience with 22 children who mean the world to me.
May the life lesson that I learned then be one they can take heart from now. Difficulties in math, like all the other challenges of life, don't last forever. It definitely does get better.
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