~and our dream went with her~

In this the summer before my 62nd year, I have been paid a visit once again by the little 9-year old girl who lives within me.  From time to time she whispers in my ear, and the message is perpetually the same.  They are words that always come through loud and clear.

"Please, may we have some fun today Peggy?"
And so we do.

Last week while visiting my son and his family, I watched in wonder as my little granddaughter flew a kite.  It was a wind plentiful kind of day, one in which her beautiful multi-colored kite took quickly to the skies of the Pacific Northwest.  I have absolutely no remembrances of flying one as a kid and certainly none as a grownup either.  It looked fun!

So before we had lunch, I too went over and took my turn at it.  For the next 10 minutes or so, I also stood in amazement that this wonderful piece of canvas cloth was flying high above me.  It would have been interesting to have taken my blood pressure at that very moment in time.  I am going to bet that it was normal.  Shoot, maybe it was even better than normal.

I have always been one to take life much too seriously, a character trait that hasn't always worked out too well for me.  For pretty much my entire life, my desire has always been to help others, making sure that absolutely everything is ok for them.  I have sat and fretted over problems that I had absolutely zero control over.  I have been anxious about life turning out just perfect for all concerned.  I have put having fun at the very bottom of my to do list, so much so that I now sadly realize just how many years have gone by that I can no longer get back.

And so I have begun.
Little by little, I have tried to find some enjoyment for myself each and every day.
Sometimes I find it and sometimes I don't.  
But at least I now try.

I'm no longer a spring chicken but I don't feel like I'm an old stew hen ready for the boiling pot either.  I hope to have many good years that remain for me yet in this lifetime of mine.  The days ahead will go fast enough without my even knowing it and that's why it seems so important to me that I live my life accordingly.

There's not a moment to waste for me and the truth of the matter is this.
There's not a moment ahead to waste for you either.

About 3 weeks ago I was visiting with my sister in the days before she passed away.  We were talking about what we liked to do as kids growing up on the farm.  I was so surprised to hear her say that she remembered I used to like to walk through dried up autumn leaves.  She reminded me that I loved to hear the crunchy racket that they made each time my 9-year old foot would stomp them down.  We smiled at that memory, one that was stored deep within our old brains and forever etched upon our hearts.  

My sister is gone now and our dream to have fun growing old together here in this part of the world has gone with her.  But if she were here right now, standing alongside me as I travel through the miles left here for me on earth, I'm just about positive of the message that she would deliver to me as well.

"Continue to have fun my little sister, even without me."
And you know what?
I think I will do just that.

                                  the 9-year old that I live with here along the Red River