~and I am on my own now~

You know, I made it through my first day back at school since my older sister Sherry passed away this summer.  I did great, just like she told me that I would.  I thought about her off and on during the course of the day, but I didn't cry even though I was afraid I might.  One of the last conversations we had as sisters before she passed away on June 16th, revolved around the kids I'd be teaching this year at Grandfield.  As I think about it and how that conversation went, I realize now that she was doing her own version of "cutting the apron strings" as my mentor.

She must have known.

I was telling her all about the ideas I had and sharing the concerns I was feeling about heading to a new school and a different grade assignment.  Sherry listened to me intently from her bed at the hospital in Altus as I told her some of the plans I was making.  Every once in a while she would have to stop a moment to straighten up in bed in order to breathe more easily.  Then she would focus back in on what I was explaining.  At the end of my spiel on what I thought the first few days would look like for me this year, I fully expected her to respond back that she would get well soon and be able to help me out.  She'd be making a trip to the local Dollar Tree and find some things that she thought would work out in my room.  Knowing her, I really kind of figured she would give me her thoughts on how to map out the reading program and some different online sites she knew about for math and science.  

She did not.  
Her reply back was so simple and sweet.

"Girl, you are going to do fine!"

And that was it.
Seven simple words that in retrospect were a message to me that her time was through and if I hadn't learned it by now, then it wasn't important enough to worry about in the first place.

Just a few days later, she was gone.

I told the kids all about her the very first day of school, just like I said that I would.  I explained that many of the wonderful things in class like school supplies, toys and books, posters, and games were actually those that she had of her own.  Now they would belong to us. We had our first class meeting of the year in "Sherry's corner", a place filled with things that kids all love like books and stuffed animals.  As we sit around our little campfire together every day, I will be remembering of her in my heart and I'm pretty sure that's what she would want me to do.

The other day when I was helping my brother-in-law clean out some of her personal belongings, I came across something that looked really familiar to me.  It didn't take long to recognize what it was and the story behind it.  I asked to bring it home with me and now it is tucked safely into the hallway closet.  Not sure what I will do with it but that doesn't matter.  The story behind it is precious enough.  A guy doesn't really have to do anything with it except to just let it be.

51 years ago after saving money she earned by selling cream to the Ark Valley Creamery on South Main back home in Hutchinson, Sherry bought the typewriter shown in the picture above.  I remember it so well even though I was only in the 5th grade.  She would go out every day and milk our two cows, strain off the cream, and save it in the icebox until there was enough to take to town.  It took a long time but she didn't give up and the day that she handed that $25 over in exchange for the typewriter was a happy day for her.  She had just begun school at the local community college and a typewriter was a necessary purchase in order to complete the many term papers that would lie ahead.  Even after she began teaching for the first time in 1970, the keys of that old Smith-Corona manual typewriter would pound out many study sheets for the kids she was teaching in Salina, Kansas.  It's precious to me and represents the strong work ethic that all 7 kids in our farming family were brought up with.  To see it once again this summer was like a trip down that old "Memory Lane".

I was a little worried that the year might be too tough for me, that without her there would be no reason to continue teaching.  I was so wrong!  I have a wonderful class of second graders with parents who are going to be so supportive and helpful along the way.  I work in a fine elementary school that is part of a great school district.  My year ahead is going to be successful and I know I can do this!  

Even without her.
Love you my dear sister.  I am on my own now.

Between the two of us, we have ended up with more than 80 years of combined service in the classroom.  Oh how I miss her but I'm doing way better than I thought I would.  She was that good of a teacher.

It still had the sticker on it from where it was purchased in Hutchinson.  She took such good care of it, something that comes naturally when you have to work so hard to get it in the first place.