Sometimes I am compelled, even fiercely driven to take a photo of the setting sun. It used to never be that way for me. For the better part of my first 50 years or so of life I could have cared less to witness the descent of that golden orb into the western horizon. It was quite simple; the sun went down and the day was over. But just a few years back, when I started working on my "Miller Bucket List", that all changed in such a way as is evidenced by all of the photos of not only sunsets but sunrises as well on my camera card. The strange thing is this~the older I have become, the more intense is my purpose in chasing the disappearing sun each day. I think I am strange that way :)
Saturday evening was a very good example of it all. I was busy working inside of my house in Hutchinson, going through boxes yet to be moved to Montrose. I had started to write a blog post for later on that evening when all of a sudden, it hit me. In just twenty minutes or so the sun would be setting on the prairies there in Kansas and I had to have its picture. I stopped what I was doing, slipped on my shoes, grabbed my car keys and camera and headed out the door. I was afraid that I wouldn't find it, that I'd been "trading too much daylight for dark" as they sometimes say. I headed out on Main Street in Hutch, turning left at 30th Street. Luckily the traffic wasn't heavy and I got all the green lights which seemed pretty dang miraculous to me. When I made it to West Hendrix Street, I couldn't help but notice the already brilliant and gorgeous colors that were painted into that Reno County sky. I knew it would be a good picture IF I could just get there in time. As I turned right, I found the perfect spot to say "good bye" to the day and I'm sure the good folks whose driveway I pulled into must have been wondering what that crazy woman with Colorado license plates was doing. I got out and just started shooting one photo after another until I found the right one.
I stood there in awe of it all for a long time and marveled at how a Creator could have made such beautiful colors and spread them out across the skies of my Kansas home. As I turned to back out of those folks' driveway, I noticed that they had a massive picture window for their front room and I have to admit I was a bit envious of the view that they see each and every evening there. Ten minutes later, it was all gone and the darkness of the night had arrived. I had only the picture I took to remind me of just how gorgeous that sunset had turned out to be.
When I was back in Kansas this past weekend, I had the chance to visit with a lot of good friends that I've known for many years. How nice it was to run into them and have a chance to say "hello" and to catch up on what they have been doing. I have missed them so very much and whenever I can meet up with them, I am very grateful. We had some great conversations with one another but one in particular stands out in mind to me this day. I ran into someone Saturday afternoon in my hometown of Haven who has been a friend for many years now and some how or another, our conversation kind of led us to talking about "life's race". My good friend reminded me that we are all "heading to the finish line, wherever it is." I thought about that comment all the way home yesterday along the more than 600 miles it takes to go from Reno County, Kansas to Montrose County, Colorado. When I awoke, wide awake at 3:00 a.m. this morning it was still on my mind and when something remains so steadfastly implanted in my thinking there is only one way to take care of it...I have to write about it.
At age 58 now, I'm guessing that I'm closer to life's "finish line" than many others are. I look at that realistically and most certainly not in a morbid or macabre fashion. It's the truth. Although I would imagine that there are plenty of years left for me here on this earth, they have gone most quickly the ones I've had. The older I have become, the more the sense of urgency has arisen to remember that our days are numbered here. Life is fragile, very fragile. I think that when I search for the sunrises each day and chase the sunsets of the evening, it helps me to be more humble and thankful that I was given the day of life to begin with. Although I "run" to find them, once found I automatically slow down and enjoy their view. Those images are like a gift to me, a present to watch as it is unwrapped right before my very eyes. They are treasures that you definitely won't be picking up in any high dollar online store. Those types of things can only come directly from God's hands and for them, my heart is most thankful.
It was a long journey home yesterday. The car was packed to the point of "critical mass" and when that load shifted and collapsed yesterday as I was passing through Edwards County, Kansas I had to stop and make things right again. The first 400 miles or so were easy ones to travel. Not a lot of folks up and on the road at "dark thirty". In fact for the first 2 hours it was only me and a couple of cars I encountered in Stafford County. By the time I made it to Canon City and began the drive through the canyon lands and over Monarch Pass, the world had awoken. Dozens of cars, just like mine, were making their way along the route. That last couple of hours were not the best and although I have driven those winding roads many times before, it still wasn't easy. The wind blew like crazy at the higher elevations and boy was I ever glad to see the valley below Cerro Summit that told me I was nearly home.
When I got home and started to unload the car, I told Mike that I was kind of sad for some strange reason and that I didn't know why. The more time that passed, the sadder I became. Finally I just sat down and cried, believe it or not. Maybe I was just very tired and overly exhausted but perhaps yet for another reason. Inside my car were among the last vestiges of life for me back in Kansas. One more journey out in three weeks more to completely empty out and clean the house will take care of the last of the things. The calendar on the refrigerator reminded me of the fact that my days with the "18" are very numbered and there is so much to do with so little time to do it in. I will miss them, so very much, when they are gone. With so many things on my mind these days, I think it all just caught up with me yesterday. I learned years ago, finally and THANKFULLY, that when you feel sad sometimes the best thing you can do is to talk about it with someone and cry for a while. Then you feel better. Yesterday I did just that and the great thing is that this morning I don't feel sad any longer. I just needed to acknowledge it and accept it. Change is kind of hard for me sometimes. How about for you?
It's the very early morning hours here along the Western Slopes and I have this feeling that I'll be regretting waking up at 3:00 a.m. somewhere along noon time today. I am anxious to see "the 18" and to catch up on all that happened with them this weekend. I love those children, each and every one of them. I have taught 35 classes of students before them, all of those children special and dear to me. Yet THIS class will always remain most dear to my heart. They saved me and played such an instrumental part in helping this once very lonely and homesick Kansas school teacher make the adjustment to Colorado life. This I know...... God sent me here for them and them for me. It ended up being a "win-win" situation and as in everything, if left in God's hands that's always the way it turns out.
Have a great Monday everyone out there. From a place far away, I am thinking of all of you and holding you very tightly and closely in my heart. I love you guys all.
I am thankful that I listened to God's calling and became a teacher now over 36 years ago. There is NO other job that I would have ever loved as much as the one that allows me to guide and nurture children along life's way. I am fulfilling my destiny, whether it was on the plains of Kansas or deep inside the mountains of Colorado. There is not a day that goes by that I don't think of it and with a glad heart remember it with thanksgiving.
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