I've had my share of surprises and more than my allotment of heartache. There's been the bad but there has also been the very good and it has outweighed it each and every time. The wonderful things that have happened to me trump the horrible things so hard that you wouldn't even know you had once had trouble. For that I am grateful. Even on days when life seems to suck big time, you gotta give thanks for that which you don't have to endure.
And by the way, I do.
On my list of 60 things to do before I turn 60 this year, item #52 "to love myself way more than I do" and #53 "to find peace in whatever life deals me" seem to go hand in hand. You can't have one without the other and although I'd love to say that I will be able to cross them off by the time late October rolls around, I'm not sure that it will happen. I can only hope.
Sometimes I even wonder why I put them on the list in the first place, you know? I've been wrestling around with those two things for nearly all of my life and I'm not alone either. I've known a lot of people, just like me, who are harder on themselves than they ever would be on anyone else. In fact some of them are my very best of friends. We share the same character attribute, one that comes out time and time again. I'm in good company.
We hate to let people down and when we make a mistake, it eats upon us. Sometimes little by little in tiny bites while other times it swallows us up in one big and satisfying gulp. The end result, either way it happens, isn't a good feeling. I've got to keep working on it. If I ever have the chance to make "Peggy's list of 70 things to do before turning 70", perhaps those two things shall be there as well :)
This list of mine, the one that admonishes me to do 60 things by the 26th of October, is actually kind of being whittled down a bit. Some traveling is ahead in the very near future and soon I will be able to see my sweet little granddaughter Catherine and her family, taking care of item #26. #6 will be taken care of tomorrow when we cross over the state line into Utah on our way west for a few days. Although I could have taken care of #28, by attending the Judy Collins concert here this Friday, there will be plenty of other opportunities to go to one. It would have been nice to have finally seen in person the real "Sweet Judy Blue Eyes". The performers of my youth are still going strong and I'm sure that when I least expect it, a ticket will find its way into my hands.
I have to believe that it will happen.
I'll be away from my blog site for the next several days as we travel to take care of some family things that need our attention but before I go there is something that I want to say and the something is this.
"Have I told you lately how glad that I am that we are friends? That without you in my life, I'd be in a big world of hurt? The material things of our existence, well they come and go. Mostly they go. But the love of our friends has the ability to endure forever. Just wanted to say it, in case you already did not know."
The day is upon us and in our part of the world it is not quite 5 a.m. A lot is ahead of me in the next 36 hours and it's time to get off of the computer and pack it away for the trip to school in just a couple of hours. Wherever you may be this fine Wednesday morning, my prayer is for you to be well and at peace with life. I am alive and most assuredly well as I move towards peace in my life too. God saw fit that a little girl from the plains of Kansas should find a wonderful man in the mountains of Colorado.
And happily, here I am.
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