~and they call it the human one~

There are some nights that I don't sleep too well.
Last night was one of those nights.

I blamed it on a bunch of things, like watching way too much news on the television and online about the recent events here in Texas and beyond. Perhaps it was because I am worried about loved ones that aren't feeling so good right now.  Hey, last night I was even fretting about people who didn't know I was concerned about them in the first place.  Whatever it was that kept me from getting any sleep, it generally went right back to things that I couldn't change anyways.

Even if I tried.
Sounds just like me.
I'm good at doing that.

For over 3 hours, I tossed and turned.  I couldn't get comfortable and in my inability to sleep I worked myself up into an anxiety attack like I'd never had before.  Poor Mike.  That's all I have to say about that.  

Poor Mike.

I got up in the middle of it all, not once but many times.  I came to the kitchen table and tried to write a blog post but the words just would not come out.  The more I thought about things, the more I worried.  The more I worried, the more anxious I became.  It was a losing proposition.  

Finally about 12:30 this morning my eyes closed in slumber and when I woke up 6 hours later  I pretty much felt like I had been run over by a truck.  I pray to get better sleep tonight and the good Lord willing, I shall.  

I remembered my mom as I was feeling the distress this past night and all of the anxiety attacks that she would have.  I always felt so bad for her that she had to endure them and try as she might, they came quite regularly.  It was something she had to get through and it was really a relief to know that in the end as she took her final breath on this earth, that those awful instances of dread and fear were gone.  

No more anxiety.  No more pain.

I wasn't going to write this post but I'm glad that I did.  Sometimes it just helps to talk about things and to remember that none of us are perfect and some of us are way more anxious than others.  In spite of it all, it is wise to acknowledge the fact that we are all running in the same race.

They call it the human one.

~my blessing~