hitting the wall doesn't have to hurt :)

During the past couple of days, I've been going back over some of the posts that I made in the earlier days of this blog, back when it was still referred to as "Peggy's Bike Across Kansas Journey of 2011."  Of special interest  to me were the original posts that I made back in early June when I was on the Bike Across Kansas.  The one shown below, from Day #2 of the BAK, was written at a point in time when I found myself facing some unbelievable challenges that I hadn't counted on.  Compared to the entries I make these days, the post was "short and sweet."  


Repost from Sunday, June 5, 2011 from Ness City, KS, 140 miles into Kansas from the Colorado-Kansas border~~

Need to hit wall

Time for bed and believe me, I should sleep ok! Day 3 tomorrow done for my folks memory. What great parents they were and how glad I am that they taught me to work hard. This is a harder task than I anticipated, mostly due to the heat. I am discouraged tonight, realizing that tomorrow will be just as hot and windy. We have a long ride ahead and I pray to finally get to the point where the wall is hit and then I can keep on going. I do not want to quit, just yet. Lol, lol. But sometimes the thought crosses my mind. So, if you would please say a prayer that I would be lifted in spirit and continue on. Hey, we did stop and take our photo by the 100 mile marker today. That was a nice feeling.
The school where we are at has blocked Facebook so this post won't show there. Take care my dear friends and family. I am well and blessed as ever. I have more this very night as I sit here by my tent than I could possibly use, love to all, Peggy

 End of post

In the four months that have now passed since my Bike Across Kansas journey, I realize just how lucky I was to have made it half-ways across Kansas.  Given temperatures in the high 90's to 100 degrees each day and a guaranteed wind blowing out of whatever direction you decided to travel, I'm proud to say I did a "half-BAK."  

Yet as I read that post, I realized just how important my attitude was in getting me at least to McPherson County two days later.  Attitude was everything on that bicycle journey--attitude is everything in our every day lives.  A great attitude will take you wherever you wish to go...a poor attitude will "sink you in the water" quicker than anything else.

I was reminded of this once again today as I sat in the therapy room at Kansas Orthopaedic Center in Wichita.  Today was my usual weekly appointment to work on physical therapy with Kim Lockwood, "miracle worker extraordinaire".  Before taking all of the standard measurements to show growth, Kim asked how things were going.  I had to be honest.

"Well," I began, "Hate to admit this but this weekend I wanted to give up trying."  

Of course, this got his attention quickly and he asked what prompted that notion.  To which I replied, "I'd just gotten tired of it.  I was ready to settle for whatever I had received back.  I was ready to give up."  

I went on to explain that I had changed my mind, especially after getting a chance to meet up with my good friend, 10-year old Darin and his brother Kodi.  My attitude had changed back to the "good."

Kim, being the wise person that he is, realized that Peggy Miller didn't need to give up just yet....Peggy Miller just needed to take a break from it for a day or so. He reminded me that since August 4th, now nearly 9 weeks ago, that I'd been fighting back, putting my all into recovering and that sometimes a person just needs to say "enough" for today.  So you take a break from it and wake up the next day, to say...."This is a  new day and I'm starting back up again."  Kim reminded me that doesn't make me lazy or a slacker or any other "bad term" used to describe people who quit in the middle of something.  It only meant that it was past time to take a well-deserve respite from it all.  Knowing that made me feel alot better about myself-Kim "lifted me up" and didn't even realize how much I needed to hear that.  I thank him.

One thing else I learned today at therapy was to start giving myself credit for the good things I have done with my injury since this all began.  Those "good things" are beginning to show up in the form of the measurements that Kim takes each week.  For instance, take a look at the two photos below.....

Taken on September 15, 2011-this was the best I could do with turning "old lefty" palm up.  It hurt to even do it this much!

Taken tonight, October 4, 2011-not quite 3 weeks later...Hey, I'm doing better!  :)  My original measurements began at only a 30 degree turn and now today, they were double at 60 degrees of a turn.  Kim is aiming for 75-80 degrees and he believes I can get there.  That was most encouraging to me.


One area that I'm having some trouble with is the ability to extend my fingers backwards from the palm.  It's the kind of range of motion needed to push open a door or use your hands to raise yourself from a seated position on a chair or couch for example.  My overall progress has been slow, going from 15 degrees initially to the present 35 degrees...only half-way to an acceptable range of 70 degrees. More work needed on my part-so if you should see me sitting on my hand, well guys that's what I'm trying to work on.  :)  Hurts like the dickens, don't look for me to be smiling, ok?  :)


The bottom line is-well, I'm not planning to quit just yet.  Now that I finally opened my eyes and saw the improvements that I had been making, this whole journey of 9 weeks has not been in vain.  I am getting stronger and I can get even stronger if I choose to do so.  Friends, I so choose!


Just a couple of closing thoughts....Art Linkletter (hey, don't even bother trying to figure out who I'm talking about you young whippersnappers), had the right idea when he said, "Kids say the darndest things!"  Today at school, 9 weeks after this all happened.....a student came up to me and said that he still didn't know how I broke my arm.  When I told him that I did it trying to jump a curb on my bike, he said..."Hey, uh Mrs. Miller, aren't you a little old for that kind of thing?"  My reply, "Uh, yes, I believe I might be."  


Another child found me after school and wanted to know which one of my sons saved my life.  
I thought, "What on earth is he talking about?"  Then I figured it out...he had heard me tell some of his classmates that my son, Grahame, had been a real "lifesaver" to me because he did so much to help take care of me!  Hey, another opportunity to learn a vocabulary word that wasn't even in the lesson plans for the day.  :)  To those two kids I say-You made this teacher's day.  I was taking life way too serious....a bad habit that I REALLY have to stop!  Good Night All!

I meant what I said when I told you that Kim had hands like a pair of vise-grips.

He means "business" and I guess that's a good thing 'cause I don't want to go to physical therapy forever.