if walls could talk-and thank goodness they can't

I went back to my childhood home today in Haven, but it wasn't the one I was raised in. And if the walls in that house on North Topeka Street could talk, I'd probably have to take a second job to pay them off....LOL  


I went back there to visit my "second" mom, Irma Perriman.  Hey, this is her--looking better and better all the time.  It had been over 25 years since I had seen her--this visit was SO long overdue.

Irma Perriman's daughter, Kathy, was my very good friend all through grade school and high school.  She was the friend who, in the 6th grade, invited me over to her house to go trick-or-treating with her.  I was a farm kid who had never gone door to door without my parents, dressed in a weird costume, and begged total strangers for candy.  So it was for me the first, last and only time to go trick-or-treating. It was a lot of fun and I never forgot it.


That house on Topeka Street pretty much had an "open" door policy.  If a kid needed a place to be for a bit, they always knew that Bill and Irma Perriman would greet them with a smile and open arms.  There could be 12 kids around the supper table, but I swear if a 13th one showed up, Irma would just tell everyone to scoot over and she'd manage to find a way to divide supper up for all of them.  After football and basketball games, during summer vacations, over Christmas break-the Perriman house must have had a steady parade of kids in and out of its doors.  And that's just the way Bill and Irma wanted it to be!  So if it wasn't Kathy's friends showing up at the door, then it was  probably a friend of one of her 3 brothers--Jim, Ed, or Bob.  Didn't matter to the Perrimans because a "kid was a kid".


Irma was the kind of mom that you'd buy a Mother's Day card for that read:  "Because you've always been like a mother to me..."  She was every kid's mother, much like my own mom and a huge host of other women in my hometown of Haven.  My parents never worried if they realized I was at Kathy's house.  They knew that the Perrimans would be watching over me and wouldn't allow me to do anything that they wouldn't.  Trust me, they were right about that!


As I sat there visiting in the living room of her home, I couldn't help but be reminded just how much the house was still the very same.  Little had changed and that provided a real sense of comfort for me.  The Perriman house was, and remains today, a very comfortable house to be in.  It's a kind of house that says, "Hey, come in and sit down and feel at home.  You belong here." And you were always glad!


I have to admit that I kind of daydreamed a bit when I was sitting on that couch visiting.  After all, we WERE sitting in a room that many Friday and Saturday nights housed half a dozen young high school girls who were up most of the night gabbing and carrying on like a bunch of teenage girls would do.  Never did understand why they called those things "slumber parties" because I didn't notice a whole lot of sleeping going on.  Most times, I can't imagine how Kathy's parents even managed to sleep with all the commotion we girls were making.  Guess they just got used to it or something.  I could still imagine us all sprawled out on that living room floor--sleeping bags and pillows, probably someone's transistor radio going full blast on KLEO-1450 AM.  And all the while, "blab, blab, blab, blab, blab".   And by the way, if you don't know what a transistor radio is, please ask your parents or another grown up.  :)


The "statute of limitations" has long run out on anything that we kids could have done while at those slumber parties-LOL...We girls were harmless, believe me.  But a whole lot of secrets were shared, a whole lot of dreams for life were dreamt right there on that living room floor.  I could be wrong, because a lot of water has gone under THAT bridge, but I think that the worst thing we thought of doing was sneaking out of the house and dragging Main a couple of times without waking up Bill and Irma.  But you know, I don't think we ever did that-only THOUGHT to do it.  I told you, we were harmless.  We got in on time and didn't even try to think of excuses when we didn't.  We fessed up to messing around and took the consequence.  Most of the time the consequence was, "don't do that again."  


Time passed so quickly and in May of 1973 we all graduated and went separate and very different ways.  I have only run into Kathy on a couple of occasions since then and very seldom have taken the time to visit Irma at her home.  I am sorry for that, I regret that.  I am aiming to do better because I know it's the right thing to do.


Who helped to "raise you" as a kid?  Another friend's parents, like me?  The elderly neighbor lady who checked in on you while your parents took jobs?  How about your Sunday School teacher or your scout leader?  Maybe your school bus driver who always waited until you got safely in your house.  I had to become an adult before I even realized how important all those extra people were in my life.  My parents couldn't be everywhere and they had to trust that whoever we ran into, whoever we associated with, would be the kind of folks who would watch out for us--folks who would have our best interests in mind.  The Perrimans were just that kind of people....and today, at long last I thanked Irma for taking care of me because my mom and dad couldn't have done it without her!  


One of my "Miller Bucket List" items has been to reconnect with family members living all over the country.  After visiting with Irma this afternoon, I am reminded that "shared blood" is not the only thing that makes someone like your family.  When people take you "under their wing" when they really didn't HAVE to....well that makes them as much a family as anything else ever does. So to Irma and anyone else in my life who has kept me on the "straight and narrow",  for all the things done on my behalf and a whole lot of other kids, I say thank-you.  I'm sorry that it sometimes goes unsaid for way too many years.