Eyes closed~Heart wide open

Hello everyone~I was so tired as I was writing this that I forgot to even post it!  So here's "yesterday's news" sent to you on the infamous "day after"!  Have a great weekend all of you.

It's night time now here in south central Kansas and this day has come to an end.  The weather for this October the 26th was sunny but chilly with a definite hint in the air that winter, in all of its glory, will be coming sooner than later.  But that part wasn't really important to me because no matter what,  I was going to use every available minute, be it indoors or outside, to celebrate the gift of another year of life.  And that, I do believe, was accomplished.  

This morning, bright and early, I made a trip over to the cemetery where my parents are buried just outside of Halstead, Kansas.  I should go more often, it's not like it's hundreds of miles away. The journey over took less than half of an hour.  Going to their grave site is like a family reunion with my brother Mike being buried right beside them and my sister, Janice, and her daughter, Kimberly just a short distance away.  You know, I always have felt as if I'd had some great conversations with my mom and dad over the years while they were still living.  Yet, I swear that some of the most meaningful ones, the most heart felt ones, have happened as I stood where they were buried.  Today was no exception.  

As I got out of my car, I grabbed the two bunches of silk flowers that I had bought for their graves and headed towards where they are laid to rest.  When I got to their headstone and attempted to stick the flowers into the ground, to no surprise I found the ground to be hard as a rock.  I did the best I could to stick them in, but unfortunately they just went in part way.  The old Kansas north wind kept blowing them around and I cannot guarantee how long they stayed where they were supposed to.  Yet for that moment in time, flowers of yellows, oranges and reds adorned the gravestone of my parents and they looked pretty nice.

"Hello you guys," I started out in conversation.  "It's my birthday today."  And I continued on talking to them as if they were sitting right there with me this morning.  I told my mom "thanks" that she hadn't stopped with her 5th child and that I was still grateful, even after 57 years that I was child #6 out of  7. Before I left, I did as I always do.  I touch each of their names and in my heart it feels as if I have given them a hug and a kiss.  Even though they have both been gone for so many years now, I still get choked up sometimes when I go there to visit their grave.  Today was one of those times.

Before I headed back to Hutch, I thought it would be a nice idea to stop in at my Aunt Beck's house in Halstead.  She is the last aunt that I have living and at the age of 99, still manages to live alone.  I hadn't seen her for such a long time and I feel bad about that.  She is the last of my mom's sisters and may I grow up to be "99" just like she has.  What an inspiration to me!  Here she is~

We sat to visit for quite a while and it was so wonderful to be in her presence.  We talked about life and how things were going for each of us.  She asked me about "old lefty" and when I rolled up my shirt sleeve so she could look at it, Aunt Beck did the most comforting thing to me.  She reached her hand out and began to inspect my arm, running it along all of the many scar lines that are now still very apparent.  She didn't know it at the time, but by doing so she provided me the "gift" of the power of the human touch.  It felt nice to me because I knew that she was doing it because she loved me and cared about the fact that I had been hurt.  And my heart and spirit were touched by her act of kindness.  Before I left, Aunt Beck made the statement that I often hear those who have reached such a milestone in years of age say many times before~"Peggy, you know I wonder sometimes just why I'm still here?  What good am I to anyone else?  I feel just like a lump sitting around most days."  And my response to her was that we never know who we might be helping just by "being".  Perhaps she has given someone the opportunity to pray for her or given someone the strength to keep going on in life just because they look at her life as an example.  And when I hugged her "good-bye", I didn't do it just once.  We hugged 3 times before I could get out the front door.  :)  As I left I told Aunt Beck that  I loved her very much and that I was grateful that today she was there for me!  Just one more reason to remember that our lives here count for some very good purpose and although we may not know why, someone else way more powerful and awesome than we are DOES know.

At day's end, I actually got a chance to work on an item from my "Miller Bucket List" when I went to the shooting range with one of my friends and learned about shooting a rifle and shotgun. A few weeks back, my friend for just about life, Ron, met me at the shooting range north of town.  There I had a lot of fun learning to shoot a hand gun and actually, for the first time ever even holding a fire arm, I felt like I'd done ok.  Yesterday, it was a "not so much moment".

It was late, nearly 3:30, by the time I met him out there.  I thought I had dressed warm enough for the October Kansas weather we were having but even the layers that I had on couldn't give much warmth from the north wind.  With the sun getting lower in the sky, literally by the minute, I knew we'd have to get a "move on" if we were going to have much time.  

I won't get into too many details here but let's just say this~it's a good thing that the Lord knew I'd never be able to make a living on the rodeo circuit as "Peggy Miller~trick shot artist extraordinaire" or something.  I learned in the first 5 minutes that shooting rifles and shotguns are a whole different thing than shooting handguns.  

While I was shooting a single-action rifle at my target, my friend Ron was shooting his 20 gauge shotgun at another.  He looked over to see that I was obviously struggling.  With a smile on his face he asked, "Peggy, do you need me to shoot a couple of holes in your target for you?"  My response back to him (sailor talk cleaned up), "No, I don't believe so.  Thank you."  30 minutes later, I wish I would have taken him up on it.  

All in all, when it was over I had only hit the target about a dozen times from 100 yards.  Now if I had only used up about a dozen rounds of ammo then THAT would have been a good thing!  As it was, I went through an entire box. There's some room to improve there, without a doubt.  It was frustrating but even at that I still had enough fun to want to be able to try it once again sometime.    

Before I left, I had the chance to shoot a 20 gauge shotgun several times.  Luckily, I still have a right shoulder left to tell the story.  I had some difficulty even with the strength I needed to hold the dang thing up and I learned fast why you best be having some ear protection on.  That "KABOOM" sound that you always hear can be deafening, literally.  That would take some getting used to for me, but actually I enjoyed shooting it more than I thought I would.  I will say that I did a pretty decent job of obliterating the small patch of ground around the leaf that I was not aiming for.  Here I am~

Well, day's end is here and I'm ready to call it a night.  The day of the beginning of my "57th year" has come and now ended.  I have been blessed beyond measure in all that I have done today.  The greatest gift that I could imagine having been given here on earth would be the gift of your friendship.  Thank you for that priceless treasure, all of you.  And to a very special friend of mine, who always provides a listening ear and truly cares about what happens to me, no matter what I might struggling with in this life~thank you for being the truest friend I ever had.  

Good night~sweet dreams to all.