~upon really living your life~

 I remember when my father passed away, now nearly 30 years ago at Christmas time, how strange it felt to come across other men out in public who so closely resembled him.  I might have been at Dillon's or K-Mart, perhaps even just walking down the street and there they would be~ironically amazing just how many "60 something", bald headed, spectacled men there were out there.  They didn't even have to look identical to my father in order to trigger the memory.  Maybe it was the way they walked. perhaps their build or the colour of their hair, or even the clothing that they wore.  But whatever it was, I would always have to pause a moment to look at them and remember my father in my heart.  I was only 27 when he died from lung cancer and I missed him then as I still do this day.

In the five years that have passed since my mom's death at age 87, it hasn't necessarily been the "physical appearance" of women I've encountered that made me think of her.  Rather, things like clothing worn or mannerisms used have put me in mind of my mom.  It took a long time before I was able to look at a "zip and dash" dress hanging on the racks at the local Sears store without a tear welling up in my eye.  When I saw elderly women with a pastel coloured sweater on of purple or pink, it was all I could do to not just go up and hug them or something, whether I knew them or not.  And of course, I am forever reminded of the fact that my mom would always stick a kleenix or two in her pocket that eventually might make the journey through the wash cycle on laundry day.  Her daughter (that'd be me) has become her now and truly, I do not know when that happened. It is, what it is. The bottom of my washer sometimes holds the remnants of what "used to be" unused tissues.

My father died young at age 59, especially "not old"  by my standards of today as I sit "poised" ready to celebrate birthday number 57 very soon.  My mom lived a pretty full life, yet it was with regret that she lived her last 4 years in a long-term care facility here in Hutchinson.  They were two very different people, each passing away at much different stages of life.  I cannot imagine what my father would have looked like or how he would have acted as an old man but I don't think he would have liked it very much!  I wonder what I will be like if I am here in the many years to come.  Will I be active and busy?  Will the years be kind to me?  Will I, of necessity, find myself living in a long-term care facility just like my mom did?  I do consider it now and then, especially as the precious gift of time seems to fly by and I go from one stage of life unto the next one.

One thing I do know for certain is this~I hope that when I finally finish "growing older" that I'm just like the lady shown in the photo below.  I'd like to introduce you to one of the sweetest women I believe I've come across in all of my 35 years of being a teacher.  Her name is Joan and I am pretty sure that she loves kids even more than I do.  And since I love them to the proverbial "moon and back", it's hard to imagine just how much love this woman has stored up in her heart for young people.

For at least the past 10 years, Joan has made the journey from her own home in the Arlington area to help kids at our school in the southern part of Hutchinson, Lincoln Elementary.  As a Youth Friend volunteer, she comes to Lincoln once a week to do whatever classroom teachers need the most help with.  I've seen her working with kids as old as sixth graders and as young as those in the first and second grade.  To Joan, "a kid is a kid"~no matter the age she likes working with and helping them all.

Joan spends a great deal of her time as a volunteer at our school reading with the kids.  Sometimes it's something from one of their lessons that they need a little help with. Other times it's their book for AR (Accelerated Reader) or a reread of one of their stories from the reading book.  And although I would say that the help she gives our students provides one heck of a boost for their reading abilities, I think there is something far greater that she does for them and that greater thing is this~When she sits "shoulder to shoulder" with students, listening intently to every word they are saying, Joan is building relationships.  Her very presence in their midst is a testament to the fact that she really DOES care about what happens to them.  She has a vested interest in their individual success and any child she works with can readily see that.  It is never difficult for Joan to find a student to read with.  The minute she walks into a room, a host of hands fly up in the air saying, "Pick me!  Pick me!"  Couldn't ask for a better reason to drive 35 miles each week.

I asked her a few weeks back, what was it that made her want to come and work with students at our school.  I mean, really~couldn't she have been doing something more fun or relaxing elsewhere?  What was the reason for her nearly decade long journey to Hutch each week?  Her answer was forthright and simple, and given freely from her heart.  She told me that it felt good to be needed and that even at her age, there was still SOMETHING that she could do to help others.  Joan took pride in the success that the students showed.  Her words of encouragement, especially when children were struggling with reading, provide the impetus for a student to continue to work hard and bye and bye to improve their reading ability.  I applaud her noble efforts, I commend her for having a "heart" to help children.

Oh, and there IS one other thing I like about her~Joan and I see "eye to eye", literally.  It is seldom that I come across another person the same height as me or even a tad smaller.  I may have an inch of height over her, but not much more than that.  And one other thing, in a way sad but in a way kinda nice really.  One day a few weeks back as she was getting ready to check in at the office, I noticed her standing there and even though she wasn't wearing a pastel coloured sweater over a "zip and dash" dress from Sears, she still put me in mind of my mom for some reason.  And all of a sudden, before I could even stop myself from doing it, I went over to her.  I put my arm around her shoulder and looked her square in the eyes and asked her, "Hey, if you are not too busy with a lot of other stuff, would you sometimes want to be MY mom?"  And you know what she said?...she said "YES".

May all of us, no matter how many years we find next to our age, still continue to live life to its fullest.  No one knows how many days we are blessed to be here, but for each of those days it sure seems right and fitting to do everything we can to help out the world that  we live in.  I think that's what Joan does and when I finish "growing older", then I pray to have become just like her.

Good Night Everyone!    Wishing for all of us, a peaceful night's rest.