Upon what is the most important thing to be teaching our children

There is a wonderful book, written for young people, by the author Doris Buchanan Smith, entitled "Taste of Blackberries."  For those of you who have never heard of it, it's about an 11-year old boy whose best friend Jamie dies after having an allergic reaction to a bee sting.  The book is not the kind of book that makes you feel happy, you won't find yourself laughing non-stop as you read through the pages.  It's a sad book, one that makes you feel a lot of empathy towards the one boy (only referred to as the narrator of the book) who must face life alone without his very best friend in the world to be there beside him.  I've read it many times with children over the course of 35 + years in education and still consider it to be my favourite book to teach children from.  Each time that I read it with a new group of students, I am continually amazed at what children really know about and question over the subject of death and dying.  In light of the shootings yesterday in Connecticut, I almost didn't write this blog post.  But at the last minute, I changed my mind because I firmly believe with all of my heart that we CAN and DO learn from children every single day.

Please, if you would-meet 3 of my 5th grade students at Lincoln Elementary~Tre, Emma and Matt.  Here were are yesterday after they presented their special projects about their "connection" to the story "Taste of Blackberries."

As a Title I teacher at Lincoln Elementary, I see small groups of students from Kindergarten to 6th grade each day.  I work with small groups of kids in both reading and math.  You know, I kind of like my job in that respect because I get the chance to see all kinds of different kids each and every day.  Even if it's only for 30 minutes, I still get the opportunity to "bond" with them and help them in areas where they may be struggling.  Hey listen, I hardly ever think about the fact that my job is what it is but yesterday one of my fifth grade students asked me when I was EVER going to be a REAL teacher.  I was taken aback at first but then I realized what they meant..when was I ever going to have my own classroom?  Oh Art Linkletter, you had it right...Kids DO say the darndest things.

Well, about a month ago, this little group of folks started reading Smith's book, "Taste of Blackberries" and what could have easily been read and taught by me in a week or so, ending up taking the better part of a full month.  Now it wasn't because we were fooling around or anything mind you, because we weren't.  Each of the book's 8 chapters lend themselves to some serious discussion on this matter of "living and dying".  Because the characters in the story, Jamie and the narrator, were so close in age to the 5th grade students that I was working with, I found the kids beginning to relate to the characters in a way that I never dreamt possible.  We had many good class discussions about what it means to choose a friend and how those two friends stick together through just about most anything.  

I warned Emma, Tre and Matt from the "get go" that this book was going to be a sad one, that it would be a book that would make them think and that some of that thinking would involve sadness.  As we went through each chapter, from the beginning when the boys were doing fun stuff together, to the time that Jamie got stung by a couple of bees and died because of an allergic reaction outdoors one day, and to the end where Jamie's funeral and burial occurred, those 3 kids asked some of the greatest questions that I've ever encountered.  And has been the case throughout my teaching career, I learned more from those 3 kids than they would ever learn from me.  

As a culminating project of our finishing the book, I asked the kids to make a connection between the loss that the narrator felt in losing his best friend Jamie to something they had experienced in their lives.  I didn't give them much guidance, only that they should choose someone (person or even a pet) who had died and make a "9 square" memory poster of them to present to the rest of their classmates on this past Friday.  They worked very hard to come up with a poster to present and just yesterday, late in the afternoon, they showed the rest of their classmates the posters they had made and gave a great book review of the story.  I could not have been prouder of them.

One by one they spoke and even though I knew exactly what they were going to say,  having heard it many times before as they practiced, I could not help but be moved to tears.  I must tell you, I've taught a whole bunch of lessons in this life of mine but this is the first time in a long, long while that I felt like crying.  Thank goodness their classroom teacher saw what was happening because she rescued me with a kleenix~and by the way, I wasn't crying because I was sad for them.  I was crying because my heart was filled with pride for what they had done with an assignment from a book that some might have thought too difficult for kids to understand.

When it was all over, I asked them to return to my classroom with me for a moment so we could take the photo.  Before I let them go, I told them one last thing.  I looked at each of them, square in the eyes.  I took their faces in my hands and said the same thing to each of them, one at a time.  "I love you and I am so proud of you for what you just did in front of your classmates."  I believe they learned a life lesson.

I don't pretend to know anything about teaching kids, really I don't.  Even though I've been at it for close now to 4 decades (must have begun teaching at age 13, LOL), every year I feel like in many ways I am starting over as a "newbee".  Things change quite often in education and it takes a lot of work to keep up with it all.  I'm forever going to the "youngsters" on the teaching faculty and asking questions like, "Do you know what this means to do?"  I strive for excellence in the students that I am entrusted with.  I want them to be the best of readers and mathematicians, to understand science, social studies, languages and technology.  What teacher would NOT want that for their students?  I desire strongly that my students, any child entrusted to me for learning, should excel and go to the highest points in life possible.  But having said all of that, this is what I will say to my dying day~the last breath that comes from within me.......

"The very best lessons that teachers can teach students are never going to be found written down in the lesson book.  They will never be found in the latest curriculum guide or on the Power Point presentation of a high dollar consultant.  NO, the greatest lesson that a child can learn are those from life itself."
                               the "gospel" according to Peggy Miller

  It will be those "life lessons" that make or break a student and show what I believe their true character shall be.  For the 3 students I worked with in reading this book, I believe they learned a life lesson by sharing a part of their life with others that they had never really thought of doing.  It takes some courage to stand in front of your peers and openly admit that you miss your grandpa to pieces or that you had to lose a pet to some disease called "Parvo virus".  And to do it without crying?  Well, that's courageous in and of itself.

You know, I didn't even realize the shootings had occurred in Connecticut until the very end of the day.  As I sat there looking at it on CNN I had to think of all the students that I come in contact with each and every day at our school Lincoln Elementary.  Sometimes in the rush of the day, with a thousand other things that have to be done, even the best of teachers will forget just how precious the time is with our students.  I know that when Monday morning rolls around again, I'm going to be connecting with some of the best kids around, our students.  I love my students, I love being a teacher and I'd bet that you'd find the same thing among every other person out there who teaches as well.  I cannot even imagine what it would be like to endure that kind of tragedy and I pray to never have to find out.  

Well, this day is done and night time has definitely swallowed up our part of the earth.  Feeling better now after having come down with this mysterious "what ever" ailment it is that has been hitting people right and left.  Made it home from school yesterday only to find myself in bed and sleeping for 15 hours straight.  I think Oblio was beginning to wonder if she was going to have to start feeding herself or something.  Eyelids are a little sleepy now, so probably will call it a night before too late in the evening.  For this night, I feel blessed beyond measure my 3 children, all grown up now, are safe and sound.  Prayers going up from this house on 14th Street for all of the families who are not so fortunate this night.  Always wishing for and praying thus for the world to FINALLY be at peace.  What an idea~will it ever happen?