~as you find yourself upon the anvil~

Hello everyone out there and greetings to you all this fine Tuesday evening, the 11th day of June, 2013.  Today marks the "3 week" wedding anniversary for Mike and I.  So very hard to imagine that just 21 days ago we were standing there in the gym of Lincoln Elementary, ready to become "husband and wife".  I think often back to that day and remember all of  the very special people that were there with us.  Between our families, friends, and students we had probably over 300 people in all there to witness our time of marriage.  I haven't seen those dear folks since then and although it has only been 3 weeks, it surely does seem like so very much longer.  What I am saying is, I miss them.

Things have been coming together finally here in Montrose.  The boxes to be unpacked are whittled down to just a few now and the combining of our two households, while not so easy, has slowly begun to gel.  Little by little, "the plan" for our life together has unfolded and sometimes, even in the best of times, it has become a little overwhelming.  And for as much as things have so tremendously changed for me since moving here, so much here remains the same~the San Juan Mountains still rise in all of their majesty and splendour just outside the kitchen window, herds of mule deer routinely come through the yard each morning looking for their sustenance, the wind continues to  blow off the mountains like crazy at times, and I am still very lonely for my home in Kansas.

I have to ask you something friends if you don't mind and the "something" is this~Have you ever felt like God has laid you upon His proverbial "anvil" and spent a little quality time with you as He reshapes your life with His mighty hammer?  Do you know what I speak of?  Just a quick show of hands here~only you and I will know.  Yep, that's just what I figured.  My hand was up as well as many of yours were because for me, that's exactly what's been happening these past 3 weeks.  

Now I have to say and most certainly with all sincerity, that being laid upon the anvil pretty much sucks big time.  It's not fun, no siree, not in the least.  It hurts to have be reshapen, it's scary at times, and often if you are like me, you find yourself questioning why it has to happen in the first place.  But friends this I know for sure` for everything there is a reason and while we don't have the answer to it all, someone way smarter than we all together would profess to be, is in charge.

You know as I stop to think of it, I have been draped across the anvil before in this life but I have experienced it with some great intensity during my 18 days of living here in Colorado.  I have been so very homesick and lonely for my home in Kansas.  I miss my 3 children, my goofy cat Oblio the round head, my family and friends, life at school and life at my old church.  In my heart I have yearned for the familiarity of south central Kansas and my old life as a teacher.  And I could say to you that everything is wonderful and no more tears are being shed by me here, but then that would make someone have to recite the familiar chant of childhood, "liar, liar~pants on fire" because the truth is that it has not all been wonderful.  I have found times to be tough yet I continue to press on.

God's new plan for me in the summer of my 57th year was to become the wife of the most wonderful man in the world and friends that couldn't happen if I stayed in Kansas.  So He sent "the blessing" to find me one cold early January evening, on the social media site of Facebook.  Six months later, he was sent to me in Kansas to help me move to a new home in the neighbouring state of Colorado.  And now, Mike and Peggy Renfro are married and settling into their new life together.  We are so blessed to have found one another and we know that.  I remain extremely grateful for the undying love of a man like Mike and I'll say this much~he certainly deserves a gold medal for all of the whining and crying he has listened to since I got here.  :)  What a guy!

I had been a teacher, an educator of youth for 35 years and in my wildest of dreams wouldn't have thought that I would be able to walk away from that most noble of professions.  Yet, the "master maker" of all plans in life had other ideas for me.  Next week I will begin a new career working in a facility in our community that is run by the "Volunteers of America" organization.  I'll be heading to the other side of the age spectrum and rather than caring for the young, I will be caring for some very precious people, the elderly.  Although I will miss the little kids with all of my heart, I am so happy to be able to return to providing care for the people who need us the very most to be their advocates, the aged.  I know that getting busy and back to work will help with the homesick problem and given some time, things will definitely begin to feel more like home here.  And that's a good thing too because this IS my home now.

Hey, I gotta say this~I'm sure glad that we live in the technological age, the digital age.  I have been struggling with writing this blog post for 5 days now.  I have deleted, rewritten, took out entire sections of this post and actually just "scratched" the whole dang thing.  I had been frustrated because the words just never would come to me.  There was nothing I could figure to say and by the way, I realize how ironic that must sound to some of my friends.  They know that very seldom, if EVER, is Peggy Renfro at a loss for words.  In my impatience with life sometimes, I've been wrestling with God hoping to get Him to see things MY way.  As usual dear friends, that hasn't worked out so much.  Peggy Miller Renfro-you are one slow learner.

We're in the evening hours here in south western Colorado with the kitchen clock showing nearly 8 p.m.  It's been a pretty decent day, a good one, all things considered.  I did all the preliminary work for employment to begin next week, had one of those fun TB skin tests done, and finished a huge chunk of the CPR/First Aid class online.  On a scale of 1 to 10, with one being "I was homesick and cried all day" and ten being "Kansas, where's Kansas?" I think I can safely say I was about a 6 1/2.  That's improvement that I can live with :)

Have a great night's rest everyone out there and I hope that if  you ever find you are on that anvil alongside me, that you'll hang on and allow God to do what He needs to do.   Change is inevitable, it is good, and it IS what it IS.  For the least of these things, I give thanks always.

Good night friends and family~you are loved by me, all the way, 611 miles west of Hutchinson, Kansas on Highway 50 along the western slopes of Montrose, Colorado.

Way back in January, our first meeting after 40 years of time had passed.  We went to the Black Canyon of the Gunnison.  We began as friends~

Six months later atop the Grand Mesa, near Grand Junction, Colorado~at our "advanced age" we have agreed to hope for 20 years together and anything past that will just be an extra blessing.  

The view from the top of the Grand Mesa, over 10,000 feet high~it was like looking at God's topographical map of the earth.  We human beings are just infinitely tiny parts of it all.  What beauty to behold~