Oh, how wrong I was!
It is now going on six years later. I am still teaching and finding out that there was more "teacher" left in me than I realized. How I missed those kids and the chance to be with them every single day. I sorely regretted my decision to retire in 2010. I don't regret my decision to be teaching today. I am in the right place and most certainly doing the right thing. Funny how life works out when you allow it to.
As I was reading through some of my very early blog posts this morning, clear back from June of 2011, I came across the post that was supposed to be my "official" final one. My trek on the Bike Across Kansas had only taken me to the halfway mark, just slightly over 245 miles, before I succumbed to dehydration and heat exhaustion. I was ready to take my blog site down and go on to other things after only a couple of months. After I wrote it, my niece Brandy encouraged me to keep on writing and so I did. Just like I thought I was finished teaching, I learned shortly after this "final post" from June 8, 2011 that I was not finished with writing either.
Writing this blog has allowed me to learn a lot about myself and the person that I have grown to be. Sometimes what I have learned is painful. It's not very fun to realize your own character defects as you type the words on the keyboard. But it is through those awakenings that I have become a better and much stronger person. Life's lessons are tough to learn sometime. Just ask me. I have a whole lot of experience with them.
I'm posting that story from June of now nearly 5 years ago. Perhaps as you read it, you might see yourself in it as well. I learned a lesson that day on the Bike Across Kansas and the teacher who delivered it to me was a most unlikely subject, a homeless man who ended up being an angel in disguise. I have never forgotten him and one thing remains for certain.
I believe that I never will.
From June of 2011 when children at school still called me "Mrs. Miller"~
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
My final post
From the movie, "The Bucket List"....Carter Chandler's #2 item..... "to help a complete stranger for the good."
You know, I really should have a permanent indention on the side of my head for the number of times God has gotten my attention with the "whacking of a 2 by 4". You would think I'd be learning a little quicker, but obviously not! I believe I learned the most valuable lesson ever on Sunday morning, officially day #2 of the BAK as we prepared to leave from Scott City.
It was time to start packing up stuff and loading it onto the truck. All around me I noticed pairs of people, working together to get tents down and gear stowed away....husbands and wives, people with their "significant others", etc. And there I was, alone and having to take down my tent and pack up the "way too much stuff" that I had managed to bring along. Even though I had camped only yards away from where the truck was, I was still feeling pretty sorry for myself as I got things ready.
I turned from my campsite, one bag strapped to my back and the other in my left hand when all of a sudden, the first "whack" of the day happened. So close that I could see the wrinkles on his face, there was an old man who was loaded down with 4 huge bags of crushed up cans. He was struggling every step of the way, barely able to walk under the weight of those big bags of cans. In my shame, I said nothing but watched him as he moved on down to the corner and sat to rest. I picked up my junk without even thinking and climbed into the truck to stow it away. I remember telling one of the other cyclists there that I'd just received my morning "wake up call" from God, and he understood exactly what I meant.
Soon it was time to head to breakfast. We all were walking down to the high school, just a few blocks away. There would be plenty of food and all of us had plenty of money to buy it with. The old man was sitting on the corner resting about 2 blocks away and as I neared him, "whack number 2" came to me. I knew that I had to ask him if he needed help, some food, whatever it might be.
With a "sorry" heart, I am going to tell you right now that even though I believe in the idea of Carter Chandler's #2 bucket list item, I have "at times" been very selective of what type of stranger I will help. Oh, it's easy for Peggy Miller to help little old ladies and gentlemen who might be struggling with a package or trying to get a door open. I don't have any problem with "paying things forward" on the behalf of any stranger...never been an issue. But I have had a problem with the challenge of helping someone like the old man hauling the cans around. And I always ask myself, "WHY?" Is it because he's dirty, unshaven, disheveled in appearance? Am I afraid of him for some unknown reason? Have I forgotten that, I and all of the rest of us, are just one or two paychecks away from his "lot" in life.? What is holding me back?
So as I approached him, I gathered up my courage and said "good morning" and tried to introduce myself. I asked him if he was ok, was he hungry? Wow, talk about a bundle of nerves--I'd never done that before. To my surprise, the old man became very upset with me. He said he had food and he was FINE and without anything further, he picked up his cans and hauled them across the street to sit on the opposite side.
I was stunned for the moment. I thought, hey how did THAT just happen? I was prepared to go and get him some food and bring back. My eyes began to sting and just before a tear began to fall, I got "whack number 3". And the message came to me so loud and clear on that Sunday morning in Scott City, KS. and the message was this:
GOD DIDN'T SEND PEGGY MILLER TO HELP THE OLD MAN THAT DAY. INSTEAD, GOD HAD SENT THE OLD MAN TO HELP PEGGY MILLER.
The old man didn't need food or sustenance nearly as bad as I needed to learn that it was ok to talk to him and offer help. And the blessings of this life keep pouring down on me every single day. I believe that he may well have been an angel-sent for the very purpose of teaching me a much needed lesson. May you also be blessed this day my dear friends and family.
From the words of the angel Tess:
"God has a plan. He always does, but sometimes people forget and try to make their own imperfect plans. People can only see a little way down the road. But He can see the whole trip."
"Judging a man is easy. It's the compassion that is sometimes hard."
"A coincidence is when God chooses to remain anonymous."
"Sometimes the end is just the beginning, hmmm? The end is USUALLY the beginning."
Thank you dear friends for the prayers, good thoughts, well wishes for me as I went on this journey. May all of you find something in this life that makes you happy to do as well. Don't be afraid to try something new. If Peggy Miller can make it half-way across the state of Kansas on a bike, YOU CAN DO ANYTHING!!
You know, I really should have a permanent indention on the side of my head for the number of times God has gotten my attention with the "whacking of a 2 by 4". You would think I'd be learning a little quicker, but obviously not! I believe I learned the most valuable lesson ever on Sunday morning, officially day #2 of the BAK as we prepared to leave from Scott City.
It was time to start packing up stuff and loading it onto the truck. All around me I noticed pairs of people, working together to get tents down and gear stowed away....husbands and wives, people with their "significant others", etc. And there I was, alone and having to take down my tent and pack up the "way too much stuff" that I had managed to bring along. Even though I had camped only yards away from where the truck was, I was still feeling pretty sorry for myself as I got things ready.
I turned from my campsite, one bag strapped to my back and the other in my left hand when all of a sudden, the first "whack" of the day happened. So close that I could see the wrinkles on his face, there was an old man who was loaded down with 4 huge bags of crushed up cans. He was struggling every step of the way, barely able to walk under the weight of those big bags of cans. In my shame, I said nothing but watched him as he moved on down to the corner and sat to rest. I picked up my junk without even thinking and climbed into the truck to stow it away. I remember telling one of the other cyclists there that I'd just received my morning "wake up call" from God, and he understood exactly what I meant.
Soon it was time to head to breakfast. We all were walking down to the high school, just a few blocks away. There would be plenty of food and all of us had plenty of money to buy it with. The old man was sitting on the corner resting about 2 blocks away and as I neared him, "whack number 2" came to me. I knew that I had to ask him if he needed help, some food, whatever it might be.
With a "sorry" heart, I am going to tell you right now that even though I believe in the idea of Carter Chandler's #2 bucket list item, I have "at times" been very selective of what type of stranger I will help. Oh, it's easy for Peggy Miller to help little old ladies and gentlemen who might be struggling with a package or trying to get a door open. I don't have any problem with "paying things forward" on the behalf of any stranger...never been an issue. But I have had a problem with the challenge of helping someone like the old man hauling the cans around. And I always ask myself, "WHY?" Is it because he's dirty, unshaven, disheveled in appearance? Am I afraid of him for some unknown reason? Have I forgotten that, I and all of the rest of us, are just one or two paychecks away from his "lot" in life.? What is holding me back?
So as I approached him, I gathered up my courage and said "good morning" and tried to introduce myself. I asked him if he was ok, was he hungry? Wow, talk about a bundle of nerves--I'd never done that before. To my surprise, the old man became very upset with me. He said he had food and he was FINE and without anything further, he picked up his cans and hauled them across the street to sit on the opposite side.
I was stunned for the moment. I thought, hey how did THAT just happen? I was prepared to go and get him some food and bring back. My eyes began to sting and just before a tear began to fall, I got "whack number 3". And the message came to me so loud and clear on that Sunday morning in Scott City, KS. and the message was this:
GOD DIDN'T SEND PEGGY MILLER TO HELP THE OLD MAN THAT DAY. INSTEAD, GOD HAD SENT THE OLD MAN TO HELP PEGGY MILLER.
The old man didn't need food or sustenance nearly as bad as I needed to learn that it was ok to talk to him and offer help. And the blessings of this life keep pouring down on me every single day. I believe that he may well have been an angel-sent for the very purpose of teaching me a much needed lesson. May you also be blessed this day my dear friends and family.
From the words of the angel Tess:
"God has a plan. He always does, but sometimes people forget and try to make their own imperfect plans. People can only see a little way down the road. But He can see the whole trip."
"Judging a man is easy. It's the compassion that is sometimes hard."
"A coincidence is when God chooses to remain anonymous."
"Sometimes the end is just the beginning, hmmm? The end is USUALLY the beginning."
Thank you dear friends for the prayers, good thoughts, well wishes for me as I went on this journey. May all of you find something in this life that makes you happy to do as well. Don't be afraid to try something new. If Peggy Miller can make it half-way across the state of Kansas on a bike, YOU CAN DO ANYTHING!!
It was a good old bike that took me over 2,000 miles. I left it in the good care of my friend Nikki back in Olathe, Colorado. What priceless memories it gave me!
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