~a birthday in Heaven~

It would have been Mom's 97th birthday today.  Kind of seems strange to think of it that way.  She's been gone ten years now, having passed away two weeks after her 87th trip around the sun celebration back in 2007.  On that last birthday, now a decade ago, I wasn't even sure what to get her.  I mean when you stop to think about it, what do you get for someone living in a nursing home who basically had just about anything she could have possibly needed?

I settled on a nice purple chrysanthemum, one that she could keep on her desk there at Good Samaritan in Hutch.  If I recollect rightly, I found it at the local garden store for under $10 but it really was kind of pretty and fit just perfectly in the small space in her room.

Mom watched it grow and bloom for several days, and then one morning she called to say that it was time to come and pick it up.  I was surprised she was ready for me to take it home, and when I arrived she had a smile on her face as she told me that it was time for me to plant it in my own garden.  She wanted me to take care of it and remember her by.

Two weeks later, we kids decided to call hospice in to help Mom in what would end up being her last hours on earth.  In the two weeks since her birthday, both kidneys had decided to give it up and her congestive heart failure made life become pretty miserable.  It was time.

We knew it and the truth is this.
So did Mom.

I remember so well the last 24 hours of her life.  What a blessing it was to be there with her during a time that isn't the most pleasant and funnest of ones to go through.  My little sister Cindy and I made the decision to stay with her there at Good Samaritan.  Our children arrived one by one.  For the first time in many months, Mom rested in bed rather than in her old blue lift chair.  It seemed strange to see her comfortable lying down instead of sitting upright to try and sleep.  

My sister Sherry and her husband Wes took out from their home in Altus, Oklahoma early in the afternoon of the 24th of September.  I remember calling her and saying they needed to get home and to not mess around getting here.  She knew what I meant.  As the day progressed and afternoon turned into evening, I kept calling Sherry to check and see where they were at.  Whenever Mom would awaken, I'd give her a report on how much longer it would be until they got there.  As my other brothers and their families arrived, the hours seemed to drag and fly by at record speed, all at the same time.

About 8 in the evening when Sherry and Wes finally arrived, Mom woke up for just a tiny bit of time.  The "good drugs" that hospice administers for pain and suffering had not fully put her to sleep.  I sat cross legged at the end of her bed just to be near her.  I will always remember and never forget what the last coherent thing she said to me was.  With eyes wide open and full of acknowledgment for who I was, Mom said to me.

"You are a good girl, Peggy Ann."
And then she closed her eyes and fell into deep sleep.
I wanted to cry.

Mom slipped through the stages of getting ready to go rather quickly that evening.  By midnight and the end of that first day, she stopped trying to wake up and I realized that I would never be able to speak to her again.  I remember the hopeless feeling and found myself crawling up into her bed and lying down beside her.  I put my arms around her and buried my face into her chest, sobbing like a young child.  I didn't want to let go of her, but it was inevitable.

In 4 hours she would be gone.

So much has happened since that September back in 2007.  I have moved, gotten married, became a mother-in-law and grandmother, retired once from teaching, and returned back again for an additional 8 years and counting.  I am now nearly 62 years old, the very same age that Mom was when she became a widow after my father's death in 1982.  

Mom no longer has panic attacks, frequent trips to the bathroom, anxiety, sleepless nights, or reason to mourn.  She is in that better place, her own Heavenly home.  Since she has passed away, we have lost a brother and two sisters as well.  The table up there is full of Scott family members and some day, I too hope to join them.

Today is Mom's birthday.  I'm not sure how they celebrate in a place where folks walk "streets of gold".  However they do it, I can only imagine how wonderful and glorious it is.  In 25 more years I will be the same age as she was when she passed away.  Yet no matter how old I find myself to be, one thing I know of for sure is this.

I still miss my mom.  I will always love her and wish I could give her one more hug and kiss.  
I was fortunate to be her daughter.
God knew just what to do.
He always has.  He always will.

                                                That little tiny baby is me.

                This was always one of my favorite pictures of Mom, taken in 2000.

Mom and I in 2005 when I bought her old house and made it my own for 10 years.  Mom only came to visit one time.  She told me that she wanted me to make that house mine.  I did.