~you can call this a message from Sherry and I~

Every once in a while, I go through my old blog posts and clean out all of the drafts of stories that I sometimes start and then for one reason or another don't finish.   I came across 3 of them that I had not taken care of, one of which was written in the first weeks of June this summer shortly after I'd gotten the call that my sister Sherry had been rushed back to the hospital for yet another time.  As it turned out, it would be the last one I would receive about going to the hospital.  She would be gone in one week more.

As I read the words that I wrote once again, I was reminded of the reason why Sherry is no longer here in the first place.  I seldom even mention it, but for some reason today I feel compelled to say something.  

Over 50 years of cigarette smoking killed my beloved sister and now I remain behind to tell her story.  All of us carry the crosses of many bad habits that one can acquire in a lifetime.  Smoking, excessive drinking, overeating, overspending, too much worry, and many more are out there.  I carry my own share of vices, that's the honest truth,  yet I am so thankful that smoking was one bad habit I never picked up.  Thank you God!

My thoughts are shown below, ones that I wrote after I got the call from the rehab hospital.  It's what I was thinking as I waited to hear whether or not I should even try to get to the city hospital where she was taken or not.  It was 30 minutes that seemed liked 30 hours as I waited for the word if she was even alive.

Or not.

I'm not sure why I didn't just delete this partially started blogpost shown below.  I had not even seen it in over 3 months.  Call it a message from Sherry if you would like, but I can't help but think that maybe one person who reads it might be just the one who needed to see it in the first place.

From that night, this past summer in June of 2017~
For what it is worth.......
Waiting has never been easy for me and as a matter of fact, it's been downright tough all of my life.  I'm not patient and never will be.  It's especially difficult right now.  I'm waiting on news about my sister, the woman who turned out to be the very best friend I could have asked for in this life.  

Her name is Sherry.
She's been a teacher for a long, long time.
She is just like me and now one thing is for certain.
She's dying.

If Sherry were well and could give a message to any of you out there who are hooked on the cigarette habit, I think it would be this.

"Smoking is taking my life.  I wish I would have never started it."

Sherry smoked for well over 5 decades and now that nicotine habit is snuffing out what little ability her very frail lungs had left in them to do their job of breathing.  Being tethered to an oxygen machine sucks, big time.  It's the way her life has been for the past several months.  COPD is a horrible way to leave this earth.

I saw her this afternoon when I went to visit her in the rehab hospital she went to yesterday. We had a good visit and talked about so many different things.  It was an effort for her to talk but of course she insisted on doing it.  The conversation turned to the subject of how our lives will some day end.  She looked at me and in the clearest voice ever told me that she wanted to be buried back home in Haven, Kansas.  I said that I thought it would be wonderful because that was where I too wanted to be taken when I die.  So we made a pact to be neighbors there and even share the same headstone together.  

It was the sweetest time I remember talking to her and believe me, we have talked so much.

I spoke with her earlier this evening and I told Sherry that I was glad that I had visited her today. She sounded better and told me that she had just finished her shower and that her nightgown was on.  I promised to get in touch with her before bedtime but when I sent her a text saying good night to her, there was no response.

The ambulance had been called when her O2 sats had dropped into the 60's and she went into respiratory distress.
And now I wait.
Impatiently.