As a "water phobic" for 45 years of my life, it was a scary move on my part to enroll in swimming lessons at the local YMCA back in mid-June. I have a very dear friend, himself a fine swimmer, who learned last spring that I didn't know how to swim. When I told him about my bucket list idea and how getting my first tattoo was near the top of it, he immediately gave me this piece of advice..."Peggy, scratch the idea of getting a tattoo and learn how to swim well enough to save your own life some day." Because I value his ideas and judgement and have 100% trust in his decision making skills, I decided to forego the tattoo (at least for that period of time) and head to the YMCA to see if I could figure out this swimming that everyone always talked about. Oh, am I ever glad I listened to him!
Because my first set of four lessons weren't nearly as bad as I thought they would be, I made the decision to return to the water again for the next four lessons. Laurie, my remarkable swimming teacher, agreed to give me private lessons once again so I decided the only smart thing to do would be to return to the Y as soon as I could to learn some more about swimming. My accident and 8 weeks of cast wearing deterred me from going back before now. But I went back today after school and was remarkably surprised by the whole deal.
Laurie noticed the difference about me immediately. She recalled a frightened and anxious woman (that'd be me) who last June would not think of walking into the water past 3 feet on that first day. "Look at you Peggy"...she said when she noticed that I had gotten into the pool and immediately waded over to the 4 1/2 foot water. I hadn't realized I'd done that and once I did, for a moment I thought "Oh my gosh, what did I just do?" But that feeling didn't last long at all and that is the part of the pool we settled in to start my lesson.
During my 4 lessons last summer, I learned to face float and back float with a kick as well as finally being able to put my face in the water. Today I was actually kind of shocked to realize that I remembered all of it. I was able to do everything I had learned before with ease. Oh there were plenty of "parts" that I have to work on but for the most part I was actually proud of myself that I remembered any of it.
My whole anxiety level this time into the pool was so very minimal. Please don't get me wrong on this...there's plenty of stuff that I don't like about being in the water~I hate it when water gets into my ears or my nose, don't like to get into water that is deeper than I am tall (all of 5') and I don't really like it when too many people are in the pool when I am. But even those 3 things can never be bad enough to keep me out of the water for another 45 years again.
And Laurie, wow~what a good teacher she is. She always manages to stay calm, collected and patient. What I admire most about her is the ability she has to detect when someone is becoming anxious or afraid. She never pushes me beyond what I am comfortable with, always willing to go slow or to even stop if the occasion arises. Laurie is a "born encourager". This afternoon, we were standing in the 4 1/2 foot water area and she told me that someday we'd be doing our lessons in the 5 foot area. I kind of looked at her puzzled with this kind of look that said, "Yeah, that's really going to happen." I'll never forget what she said to me..."Peggy, if you want it to happen, it will." and my friends that sounds like a good thought to hang on to.
The 30 minute lesson went by way too quickly (geesch did I just say that?) and it was time to get out of the water. We agreed to meet for the next 3 Wednesdays at 4:30 and would continue on with the next three lessons. Shivering, I got out of the pool. I was happy and had no regrets that I had returned.
I don't know about you guys, but sometimes certain things just "hit me." As I was leaving the Y tonight at nearly dark, a cold north wind came from around the corner and blasted its chill upon me. I couldn't help but think about the day in July when my last lesson was done. Pretty near positive that the temperature that day was well over 100....flip flops felt good then, tonight well, not so much. That 49 degree outdoor temperature was just a bitter reminder to me that winter is closing in on us with a fury. There doesn't seem to be much time left for us between the seasons...and winter is pounding on the door saying that it doesn't care that the calendar doesn't announce its arrival for another 3 weeks. It can, and does, come any time it dang well pleases.
As I was walking towards my truck, I realized how precious little time was left before my next surgery on "old lefty" in late December. If I wanted to get 3 more lessons in before that time, I was going to have to get a move on. It's a little hard, and they even frown on it, to swim with a cast on. It's so important to me to finish these 4 lessons before my surgery date at Christmas time. But remembering Laurie's thought, "If you want it, it will happen." then I will keep plugging away. Starting to feel like I'm racing the clock, or something.
Oh yeah, the "gentle nudging" that I mention in the title? Well, that's how I feel about my bucket list. Every since I started this, now more than 6 months ago, I have indeed felt this gentle nudging or prodding to keep at it, to not stop for anything. It's a weird feeling, kind of like what I imagine our inner voice to be like. At times when the feeling has not been just a gentle nudge but rather a full-blown, "grab you and shake you by the shoulders" moment, I've wondered if God was sending me a message that said my time was nearly up. Hey, you just don't know. I hope I have many years left, I hope you all do as well. But the bottom line is, when God determines I've had "enough" time here on this earth, I'll be heading out. And as I leave, I want to know that I lived my life to the fullest each and every day I was here. Friends, I wish for you the very same thing...that you would live your life as if today was your last day. You don't have to have a bucket list, but for crying out loud, please be doing something each and every day that is important to you. Don't be afraid to try something new~~I did, and guess what? It didn't kill me! :) Have a great evening all of you!
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