No friends, this kind of feeling of missing something has to do with all of the lessons I have learned in the last 5 months since this whole thing started. Because in my heart I know that everything that happens to me on this earth happens for a reason, just a "part of the plan", well I can't help but believe there must be one more thing to learn about. For the life of me though, I cannot tell you what it might be. Got to say, I know it's out there~I just haven't discovered it yet, but I'm fairly positive that I will.
Even if my infamous "sixth sense" is wrong and there really is nothing left for me to find out about myself as the result of taking the most expensive bike ride in the world that August day, I still will come away with more self-enlightenment than I ever dreamed would be possible. Here's why~
OK, I figure that I've learned to be a little more patient, that's for sure and anyone who has known me for any part of my 56 years of life can attest to the fact that you seldom hear the name "Peggy" mentioned with the word "patient" in any conversation about me. But when you're faced with the challenges of anything from dressing yourself one-handed to waiting on stubborn and busted bones to heal, well, being patient is the only thing you can be!
It's a "no-brainer" that I FINALLY at long last figured out that I'd have to break down and ask for help from others in order to make it through this ordeal. Gone now are the days when I thought I was just fine doing everything on my own, that Peggy Miller didn't need anyone else to help her~I could do everything for myself, thank you! In the past 5 months there have been times aplenty when I needed assistance to do even the simplest of daily tasks like washing my hair, tying my shoes, squeezing toothpaste onto my toothbrush, clipping my fingernails or opening my mail each day. My ridiculously "bull headed" belief that I would always be fine doing without anyone's assistance would be disproved time and time again.
Thinking, as well, that I learned a whole lot about just how vain I could be at times. For crying out loud, 2 weeks into the recovery process (mid-August) I became appalled at the condition of my towel closet! What had happened to my beautifully organized, pristinely folded stacks of towels and wash cloths? That haphazardly thrown together "mess" of towels couldn't be mine! But it was. Pretty good thing for me that I let go of the vanity I used to exhibit in what clothes I would wear. At this point in time I have only 3 shirts, left sleeves cut out of them, that I rotate wearing to school each day. Those 3 shirts, white, navy and black, all came from the local Mennonite thrift store~hey if I was going to cut them up anyway I sure as the world wasn't heading to the Mall to purchase them. I don't mind cutting up shirts with a price tag of $1.50 on them, but "on sale" $40 shirts? Those I DO mind!
So if I've already learned the lessons of patience, vanity and reliance upon others, then what's left? Why on earth am I feeling this strange sensation of something yet to learn from? Might there be something more? Friends, I guess the answer to that question lies in this~If there IS yet something more that God has in mind for me to learn, then I need not even be fretting about it. In His "perfect way of timing", I'll find out any way. Oh wow, by the way~I just now figured out what was left for me to learn ;)
Good night friends~good sleep to all!
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