The View From a Different Window: somewhere between here and there

Somewhere between Hutchinson, Kansas and Whidbey Island, Washington are two huge boxes making their way to my son Ricky's house. Tucked inside of them are a lifetime of memories that I had kept of his growing up years in Reno County, Kansas. When I was back home last week, I began the arduous task of going through a bunch of things still down in the basement of my home on 14th Street. Three huge plastic tubs marked, "To my son Ricky~I love you! From, Mom", had to be emptied out and repackaged for mailing to him. $62.17 worth of postage later, we left them at Dillon's on 5th Street in Hutchinson and with luck, they will find their way to his doorstep some time this week.

It had been a long time since I had opened them up to look at what was inside. Much of it I remembered but there were a few nice surprises to see as well. It took quite a while to go through it all but I loved every memory that I encountered. As I pressed each of those special items into the box for one last journey from my hands to my eldest son's, it was a little hard to hold back the tears. Ricky is my first born child but in just a few months more, he will have his own first born child to hold and love. It was time for me to give those special treasures up and allow him to make the choice of what to keep and what to throw away. But before they were "pitched" to the wind, I wanted to take one last look at them myself before sending them on.

His baby clothes that I had managed to save were freshly laundered and placed into zip lock baggies and beautiful handmade crib size afghans were rolled up and tucked in at the sides. Two baby books filled with all kinds of thoughts and newborn memorabilia found their way inside as well. When my new grandchild arrives this spring, I hope it will mean something to both Ricky and Angie to have all of this. 40 pounds of high school debate and music medals and ribbons, papers from school work, photos, awards, newspaper clippings, and a thousand other things will soon be on his doorstep just waiting for him to look through and unpack. Even though it has been a task to keep track of these things for the past 33 years, it was worth it in the end. I'd been hanging on to the plastic tubs for a long time and truthfully, by doing so I know now that I was just hanging on to the memory of days long gone by. I'd never really wanted to let it go until now but right NOW seems like the perfect time to do so. To be perfectly honest, it felt kind of good you know to finally relinquish it. It ended up being a great way to "lighten my load" and I intend to do a whole lot more of that in the months and years upcoming. And oh by the way, I only let go of them in the physical sense. They have always been stored up in my heart, that's yet another reason why it's so dang crowded in there. :)

Ricky was just a little guy when his father and I divorced back in 1985. Those were sad times, hard times but somehow or another, that little 4-year old boy and I managed to make it ok. It wasn't easy being on my own and raising him without a father around. But with the help of my family and friends, we ended up making it just fine. Not a Christmas goes by without my remembering that first holiday season that Ricky and I were alone, now 28 years ago. He wasn't worried about getting presents for himself but he was worried that Santa would not know to bring gifts to me. I still remember the Saturday morning when he asked me, "Mommy does Santa know where you are?" I assured him that he would indeed find me and not to give it another thought. Later that day, I came up with a plan that would work to quiet his fears and I went to the store and bought 3 things that I really needed to have for myself. I secretly brought them home, wrapped them up and a few days later hid them under the tree in order that it would appear that I had also been remembered by the jolly old "St. Nick". He was born with a kind heart and gentle spirit. I have been blessed to be the mother of not only Ricky, but Grahame and Ursela as well. Those 3 kids are as different as can be sometimes but one thing they will always have in common is their beautiful spirits and kind, loving and caring hearts. I'm thankful~

Well, it's getting time to start the day now. Not quite 5 a.m. out here on the western side of the world but there's this stack of papers from school still calling my name from last night and they are calling it pretty loudly. May your day be a good one no matter where you are. Take care dear friends and family. Stay well and remain at peace. Best wishes from the other side of the Continental Divide.