More on travelling light

It's quiet here tonight at my house on 14th Street.  Grahame is working late and Oblio, the "round head" cat is as "lazy as the day is long"~sleeping blissfully atop the fireplace mantel as I make this blog post.  The phone has only rang once since I got home from school and even the neighborhood kids, who normally are screaming at the top of their lungs as they play outside, have been nowhere to be seen since I got home from school.  The only sound present is the "clicking of the computer keys" as I write this and the occasional honking of a car horn from parents picking up their children at the piano studio next door.


I have been the owner of this house since 2005, having lived here now for almost 7 years.   Wow, where did THAT time go?  But my connection to this house goes much further back than 2005, in fact for nearly 25 years it was my parent's home.  My dad and mom moved here on my oldest son's 2nd birthday, October 2nd, 1982.  Prior to that time, they had been living on the farm, loving life out in the country.  Then came Dad's lung cancer and because he knew his time here was getting more limited each day, he desperately wanted to get Mom moved into town and settled before things got any worse than they already were.  They made the move exactly 8 weeks before he passed away on December 11, 1982.  They had arrived just in time, Mom was "safe" and Dad knew that.  


After Mom moved into the nursing home in 2003, we had to sell this house in order to pay for her continued care~a sad, but very real fact of life for a lot of people these days who face this same ordeal in the end stages of their folks' lives.  Luckily for us, we found someone who wanted to buy this house, renovate it, and then resell it.  During the 1-year period of time that it was being redone, I never had any notion that I might one day own it.  NEVER did it even enter my mind.  But life changed dramatically for me, and on April 11, 2005, I became its new owner and I've been here ever since.


You know in the whole scheme of things, the size of this house is a pretty good example of "travelling light".  Only 2 bedrooms, 1 tiny bathroom, kitchen and dining room, and living room are found here.  Not too bad with just one or two people at home, but add in about 20 extra  relatives during the holidays and things tend to get a little crowded.  But actually, this much I can say~some of the best times in our family's life were when we were crowded elbow to elbow around the table, sleeping all over the living room floor because there weren't enough beds to go around, or the ever popular, "long line at the bathroom door."  My friends, have you "been there, done that" too? 


For Mom, this house was "enough"...she didn't need a fancy place with 5 bedrooms, 2.5 baths, full and finished basement, and a 2-car garage.  It was while living here that she began her journey of "travelling light" and it's where my own journey has already begun as well.   The older I get, the more like her that I am....this house has been enough for me too.  I'm grateful to have had the opportunity to be here, to be blessed by calling it my home as well.  


When Mom passed away, 2 weeks after her September 12th birthday in 2007, her family came back to be together in this house once again.  I'm positive that she would have been most happy to see her "old place" filled with the familiar faces of kids, grandkids, and even great-grandkids.  Tears were shed by all of us here but a lot of happy memories were shared as well.  Since that time, there have been many family get togethers and believe me, NOTHING has changed!  There's still a line at the bathroom door and now there are so many of us that we've spilled out onto the porch during mealtimes.  I'm sure that Mom could not be happier!  :)


Learning the art of "travelling lighter" has now taken a very important place on the "Miller Bucket List".  In the months ahead, I'm going to be taking a pretty close look at just what I really need to survive in this life~important enough to me to take a place in the "over my dead body pile!"....as well as the stuff I could have easily done without in the first place.  I've already begun the process and this much I can attest to on this night~travelling light sure does feel good!  :)  Have a great evening and good sleep to you my friends....I'm pulling for you all!  Good Night!

The day Mom came to say "good bye" to her house, just before it was sold.  It was sad, but she knew it had to happen.  She was glad that I bought it that next year but chose only to visit it once after I moved in.  She wanted me to make it "my house", not hers.  I understood~

The 3 cousins who grew up in this house, the night before Mom's funeral.  They sat in her old bedroom and talked of a grandmother they loved very much.  If the walls of this bedroom could talk, oh man...what stories we would hear!  Their Grandma Scott was a wonderful "keeper of secrets" and her 16 grandchildren knew that they could tell her ANYTHING!


Ricky Miller, Mandy St. Clair Dwyer, and Brandy St. Clair Lackey-September 27, 2007


   

John Denver - Matthew (All Around the World Live)

There are many days when the words of others can send a much more profound blog message than I could ever attempt to...So on this January 29, 2012 I say "Happy Birthday #151" to my home state of Kansas! The late John Denver's voice in his wonderful song "Matthew" says it all.  :)

When my great-great-great grandparents, Ham and Eliza Brown left their home in London, England in the early 1800's to come to the "new country of America", little did their realize that the generations that would follow them would call the state of Kansas their home.  So very thankful that my ancestors put down their deep "Quaker roots" in Harvey County, Kansas.  Equally grateful for my parents who chose to raise me and my 6 siblings in this wonderful place that I have called "home" for all of my 56 years.

The name of "Peggy Ann Scott Miller" is written deep into the soil here in permanent black marker.  When I die, my earthly remains shall be laid to rest next to my great-great grandmother in a tiny Quaker Cemetery just outside of the city of Halstead, Ks.  Having been here forever, don't see much need to take out for any other "points unknown."  :)

My dear friends, no matter where you call "home" I pray that you feel as at peace there as I do here in the state of Kansas.  Have a wonderful day my Facebook family and friends. And if you've never been here to see what it's really like, well then what are you waiting for?  Here's your invitation :)

Old Lefty Update~

I cannot believe how fast the time has flown since "old  lefty's" freedom date, now nearly 2 weeks ago.  I have 4 more weeks in the "hot pink, get the heck out of my way" long arm splint and then perhaps another 3 weeks in the shorter version of one before I am dismissed from Dr. Chan's care.  All in all, it still looks like I will have the "once in a lifetime" opportunity to go through all 4 seasons of the year before "old lefty" is finally in the clear.  It's been a long time coming friends....and when it's done...I hope it will be a long time gone! (Oh man, I love THAT CSNY song!  Little kids reading this blog and scratching heads now, CSNY=the best group EVER to come out of the '70s.  It's a "Woodstock" thing.  You probably won't understand.)

Every day it seems like my arm tries harder to look more normal in its appearance but there are some things that will just have to always be a little different.  Yesterday when I was teaching my little people at school, I had the splint off so my arm could rest a bit out of its confinement.  I noticed one of the little boys staring at it...not in a bad way but rather in an inquisitive and concerned manner.  He said to me, "Mrs. Miller, how come your left hand is smaller than the right hand is?"  So I tried to explain, as best  as you can to a little guy, just why that was so.


 You know, when I first noticed the obvious difference in size just a couple of months back, it really bothered me.  The LAST thing I wanted anyone to notice was the fact of how much "old lefty" had seemed to begun to wither away!  But I've "grown up" a little bit during the course of this ordeal.  Vanity has taken a far back seat in my life now and gratitude has moved right up front, riding "shotgun" if you will, in the life of one very thankful, now much more practical, woman.


It's going to take much more time, I'm afraid, for everything to return to the "state" it once was.  Some of you may remember that after the first surgery in August, washing my own hair proved to be quite the challenge.  I'm finding that to be the same for me this time around.  Because I don't have much of my left wrist's range of motion, just the simple act of turning my hand over (something we do without thinking, right?) is painfully difficult.  So when I squirt a nice amount of shampoo or conditioner onto my left palm, I can pretty much guarantee that only about half of it will make it to my scalp, just like before.  The only difference now is, I don't break down and cry as I see shampoo making its way down the side of my arm instead of to the top of my head.  See, I TOLD you that I'm growing up!  :)  All in all, I'm making progress, albeit at a "snail's pace"....but it's forward movement.  I plan to make it all the way.


Hey, I really have to be honest in saying that some good ALWAYS comes from bad.  Sometimes you just have to wait with "eyes open" to see it happen.  The photo below shows one of the new blessings in life....

It's been quite a while, 20 years to be exact, that I could wear my high school class ring.  Way back in the "good old days of 1973" my left ring finger was a size 4.  The years that followed took their "toll" on me and before the accident in August, my ring size was a 6.  You know I always liked that ring so when "good old lefty" finally heals up, I intend to begin wearing it again.  Hey, to my friends reading this from Haven High School's class of 1973, do you guys still have yours?   Weird, I still remember that it cost $35 and having to save my tips from working at my folk's restaurant to pay for it.  One of the few things I have left from my days of being a kid and a very permanent member of the "over my dead body pile".


Well, I'm trading "daylight for dark" again and if I don't get a "move on" I'm going to be late for school.  I send you greetings, ALL, for a wonderful Thursday, January 26, 2012.  It's such a great day to be alive~  :)

Still working on the range of motion...the day that I can FINALLY turn my left hand completely over without having a look on my face that says "I HATE BRUSSEL SPROUTS!" will be the day that I know things have gotten better.  Remember now, a bad day is all in perspective my dear friends....all in perspective!

Before I should die....

I've spent some time in the past few days trying to decide what should have a spot on the 8th version of the "Miller Bucket List".  But before I tell you what actually made the "cut", let me tell you what doesn't even stand a "snowball's chance".....EVER!

There's absolutely NO way that I would even consider picking up a snake...no matter what the size. (My apologies in advance to my FB friend, Kyle Duncan of Oklahoma City who received not only HIS love for reptiles, but MINE as well!) 


You will never find me making friends on a "first name basis" with a rodent of any kind, thus the stockholders of the "Victor-Easy Set" Mousetrap Company can rest assured that their stock price shall hold steady as long as "Peggy Miller" is around. 


Although I still want to power parachute once more before I die, I'd have to have a "death wish" to jump out of a plane and sky dive! After watching the movie "The Bucket List" about a gazillion times, I was cured of any foolish notion ever held by me that bailing out of a plane with a tiny back pack strapped on would ever be a sane thing to do.  


I have absolutely NO desire to meet anyone "famous" and until my last breath is taken~olives, milk, and raisins will NEVER be considered part of a fun activity for me.   But other than THAT, I'm pretty flexible.

When you stop to consider it, the very act of daring to make a bucket list might be considered to be pretty presumptuous on my part.  When the first one was drawn up well over a year ago now, what on earth led me to even dream of believing on January 21, 2012 that I'd be here to consider the 8th version?


Even though the events of the last 6 months have opened my "perpetually shut" eyes to the fact of just how fleeting this thing called "life" can be, I still get up every morning, head out the door and into the world always under the assumption that I'll make it back home at the end of the day.  In shame, I fully admit how quickly I forget about life's fragility and  how fast I am to take it all for granted.  Friends, do you ever find yourself "there" as well?  

By God's grace, through His "way smarter plan" for my life, I'm still here today.  I've gone on the BAK, ridden on the back of a motorcycle at 120 mph, seen the most beautiful sunrise/sunset EVER, reconnected with Facebook friends and family members, gotten into the pool to learn how to swim, and so much more.  If I never got to do anything else on a "bucket list", I shall always remember being blessed by the opportunity to do those things heretofore mentioned.  For that knowledge I rejoice and give thanks.

Most of my previous bucket lists have had 10 things on them, mostly because I always wanted to have one ready for the time that another was completed.  This time, I've decided to only keep 6 on my list but there are plenty of others in mind, just waiting for the time when the 6th one is completed.  So here goes nothing, "Miller Bucket List" #8!"

1.  To return to swimming lessons in order that I might learn to swim well enough to save my own life one day.  (February)

2.  To FINALLY learn how to sew something for the very first time.  (March)

3.  To bid on and BUY a quilt at the Mennonite Central Committee Benefit Auction at the Ks. State Fairgrounds here in Hutchinson.  (April)

4.  To meet all of my Facebook friends in person, buy them something to drink, and talk about life for awhile as well as to continue on in my quest to learn how to "travel lighter." (May)

5.  To travel to Maine from my home here in south central Kansas and see the Portland Head lighthouse.  (June)

6.  To NEVER let my bucket go empty, remembering my dear friend's advice, because you cannot kick a full bucket!  


Several friends have now begun dreaming up their own "bucket lists" and that makes me feel so glad for them.  They are trying some things that I think are "crazy"  LOL, LOL but one of them was so very quick to remind me that several of mine have been equally insane.....Do ya think?  Whatever you choose, no matter what anyone else thinks of it, just get out and do it!  You will NEVER regret making the decision to try something you have always wanted to but you WILL REGRET it if you don't.  And friends, it doesn't have to cost a  fortune in fact some of the best things only cost a little bit of your time.  Have a good Saturday friends!

The most rewarding thing that I've ever crossed off of my bucket list.  If I could have done nothing more, then this would have been more than enough.  I saw the most beautiful sunrise in the world on Saturday, July 16th, 2011 on Eales Road just south of Hutchinson, Kansas.  Even if I should grow older and become more forgetful than I already am, I will NEVER forget the morning that the sun arose in just such a manner as this!

To whomever you are......

It caught my eye, first thing this late afternoon as I stepped on to my porch after a long day at school.  It was so obviously out of place and at first I thought it looked like one of the very many seed catalogues that seem to make their way to my house each and every day as of late.


The closer I studied it, the more I realized that "it" wasn't a seed catalogue at all, but rather something totally different.  The good "lighthouse" fairy had stopped by sometime during the day and left a beautiful tin sign, filled with 5 different lighthouses.  Front and center amongst them was MY lighthouse, the Portland Head lighthouse in Maine...the one I shall be seeing come this June.  Friends, what a shock to find it there waiting on me to get home from school.


I have absolutely no idea how it got there....no note to be found with it.  But whoever left it for me knew 2 things...where I live and how much I love lighthouses.  Other than that, the mystery remains as to how it found its way to my 14th Street porch.  So to that unknown person who left it there for me, I say this...


Dear Friend,  How on earth did you know I needed to see this waiting for me as I got home from school today?  I must be really transparent at times.  "Old-lefty" was aching, my body was tired and worn out, and my mind full of a thousand things to be decided in the months ahead.  But the minute I saw the sign, things changed.  To know that out there somewhere was a friend who cared enough to make the connection between me and the lighthouse sign, warmed my heart and lifted my ever sinking spirit.  And my attitude improved a hundred fold.  You may not realize it, but you helped me in an additional way.  


 Don't know if you noticed it or not, but at the top of the sign you chose it says -"Lighthouses-Beacon in the Night" and the minute I read it, I finally realized why it is that lighthouses are so important to me.  My life has taken me to some very dark and scary places, just like the ships that mariners navigate in the sea. I have been in "the belly of the whale" and to quote my good friend, "It stinks in there." The road has gotten kind of rocky at times and suffice it to say, I've been lost more than twice.  :)  But just like the lighthouse saves the sailors from a sometimes "certain" demise, God has sent people to me here on earth to save ME from myself as well.  And whoever you are, it surely would appear that you are one of those folks. Just in case I never learn who you are (and given my run of luck trying to figure out life's mysteries, that's probably going to be the case) I wish to say "thank you" tonight for making my day a whole lot brighter.  No matter what happens to me in the months ahead, no matter how many things I give up to "travel lighter", I promise you that your lighthouse sign will ALWAYS be in the pile of belongings marked "Over my dead body!"  Have a good night's sleep dear friend and I hope that someday someone is as kind to you as you have been to me this day.  As Always, Peggy  

    

What a question :)

You know, really it was the most innocent of questions that I was asked today....one that perhaps 10 years ago would have driven me to tears OR to Wal Mart to pick up a bottle of the best "wrinkle remover" on the shelf, but today it did not.  And rather than it being a comment that made me feel bad, it turned out to be a question that caused me to pause a bit, in a very good way.


He was sitting by me in my classroom at school, a cute little fellow, one of the very young ones.  We were just talking about life, well as much as you can talk about life with a 5-year old, when all of a sudden he glanced up at me. With a very puzzled look, he put his warm little hand on my face and said in the sweetest and most endearing voice, "Mrs. Miller, how did you get to be so OLD already?"  And you know, I wasn't sure what to tell him.  


Perhaps he saw the "worry lines" on my face, the "crow's feet" by my eyes.  Maybe he is like a couple of the other kids I know who love to rub my "grandma skin."  Maybe he can just tell that I've been around the block at least 3 times in life.  Whatever "clued him in" that I am no longer a "spring chicken", well, he's right in the fact that I am getting older.  And that very sobering fact causes me to pause every single time I think of it.


Don't get me wrong friends, I accept the aging process for what it is--a natural progression in this thing called life.  My skin looks older, the wrinkles in my face show up more, my eyes see a little bit dimmer, and my beautician does a great job in covering the stray "grays" that have already long been in plain sight.  Yep, I look like the 56-year old woman that I am today, so much so that they have long since quit asking me if I want to have my senior discount at the local Wendy's....they just put it on for me.  And for crying out loud, this is one time that I am so glad that I am NOT a "high maintenance woman"...for sure, it would cost, NOT pay.


My dear friends, growing older is a gift, a blessing from our God above and believe me, I'm reminded of it every single day.  So often as the years in my life have flown so quickly by, I stop to think of the 2 siblings that I've already lost-my sister, Janice, who died at age 27 in an accident in 1969 as well as my brother, Mike, who died in 2007 at the age of 62 from Lou Gehrig's disease (ALS).  Janice was so very young when she was killed and if she were alive today would have celebrated her 70th birthday this year.  What would she have been like had things been different?  Sadly, no one ever got the chance to ask HER that "mind blowing" question...."How did you get to be so OLD already?" 


I often make mention in this blog about the "brevity" of life for us all, how in the "blink of an eye"  it may well all be over.  For me, growing older is "OK" but wasting even one more little bit of life than I already have, will NEVER be ok.  After doing a little "progress monitoring" on the current status of the "Miller Bucket List", I decided to change things up a bit  and tackle certain items each month from now until summer arrives once again.  My hope is that I can remain focused on the things that I CAN do as "old lefty" heals up again and remove those things from my current list that could possibly do more damage to my arm before it has a chance totally heal.  I am working on "version #8" and hope to have it ready to go this weekend.  One thing I have for sure learned with a bucket list...you better be ready to be flexible because it's about as "fluid" as it gets.  And before I go, one more thing!


To my dear little friend from this morning....a message .....


"How did I get to be this OLD already?  Well, young friend...you see it's like this, plain and simple..ITS A GIFT~one that I truly hope that you get to unwrap one day as well.  But thanks for asking...sometimes I forget just what a blessing it really is.  Hey, I love you!  Mrs. Miller"

Hey, I used to be a kid too!  Age 8-Back in the day when the only worry I had was if that cute little boy in my 3rd grade class was going to chase me around the playground or not.  Life was very good then~it remains a very good life now!  It's all in perspective my friends, all in perspective.  Good Night!

Old Lefty who used to be normal....continued

Back when "old lefty" used to be normal, long before my stupid curb jumping incident in August, I never gave much thought to what my left arm looked like.  All I knew was that it matched my right arm and I honestly didn't give it a lot of thought.  Well friends, gotta tell you~those two arms don't even come CLOSE to matching any more.  And IF "old lefty" isn't the prettiest sight right now, I hope you will still be my friends, regardless.  Knowing you guys, I'm guessing pretty sure that your criteria for choosing friends has little to do with outward appearances and EVERYTHING to do with what's on the "inside" of a person.  :) 


Today's visit to the "land of miracles" was visit #1,000 something (ok, ok-really about the 25th one) and what I hoped would be the removal of the 7th cast/exoskeleton.  I slept well last night and arose at my usual time of 4:30 in anticipation of my 9:15 appointment.  Man, what a long haul it's been and on this, day #164, I was so ready to get the cast off...at 10:00 a.m. it was a done deal.  Been waiting (im)patiently to take THIS photo:

As soon as the cast came off and the pin was pulled out, I had a chance to look at "old lefty who used to be normal" and it wasn't a pretty sight.  I felt sad when I saw it, an overwhelming feeling of grief came over me.  Vanity reared its "ugly head" and I thought, "How on earth can I post THAT kind of a photo on my blog page?  What will people say, what will they think?"  


But this blog is therapeutic and I have posted many photos of my arm in order to remember for myself just what I had to go through to regain even a small amount of normal usage.  It has helped me in this struggle to recall how far I have come in nearly 6 months as well the efforts of a lot of folks who know more about medicine than I ever will.  This stage in recuperation is a necessary one and I need not be ashamed...so here's how it looks~

Where the pin came out will need to be covered for a few days, lots of swelling and deep bruising still as well as a pretty good case of snake skin.  By the way, I swear I was born in 1955~it would only appear to be my sainted Grandmother Brown's skin...(love you Grandmother <3)


For the next 6-8 weeks, I'll be sporting this very colorful, "get the heck out of my way neon pink" long-arm splint in order to protect the very fragile bones that are still healing inside my arm.  I chose "brilliant" pink, the same as last time, because it seems to help the 250+ kids I see at school each day to see me coming.  I'll have to be very cautious as I go about the day but I feel sure that all will work out ok...just so long as no curbs are involved!  

Hey, it COULD ALWAYS be worse and I know it!


I end this January 16th with a grateful heart and thankful for all of the people who have helped me this day.  For the 2 x-ray technicians, the nurse who removed the cast, Dr. Chan, and even the front desk gal who knows me well enough now to always call me by name, I am deeply beholden.  Life can get pretty tough sometimes and without the care, love and support of others, it can get a whole lot tougher.  You, my faithful and dearest of friends have helped me so much.  I hope someday that I can somehow carry the load for you too.  Good Night!


PS~THIS I CAN SAY WITHOUT ANY DOUBT!~I am WAY more determined to get well than I would EVER be afraid!  I'm going to make it yet  :)

The real REST of the story~Sometimes you gotta change-part 2

Many people have asked me during the past several months why it is that I write this blog.  I've always tried to be honest and in doing so I say that the blog is a form of "therapy" for me~a way to combat stress and fight depression without popping a pill or pouring a glass of "liquid courage".  So far it seems to work out pretty good for me.  When I have something on my mind (guess that happens pretty much daily LOL) I just sit down at the computer and begin to write.  If I am writing about something meaningful to me, the words really do just come from the heart.  In no time at all, I'm done and always feel better for having said it.  But other times, the process is much more difficult.  This evening is a good example of that.


The post prior to this one (Sometimes you gotta change) was true.  I did have a great afternoon at Dillon Nature Center walking the 3-mile trail.  But friends that wasn't the only trail I walked today and my experience on THAT one could not be referred to in the LEAST as fun.  And for whatever reason (probably a stupid one) I wasn't even going to admit that it happened.  But if this blog is truly a form of therapeutic medicine for me then I need to tell the rest of the story.


The photos below show me on "The Jim Martinez Trail" here in Hutch.  They were taken on the night before I left for the "Bike Across Kansas" in early June.  I was so happy and feeling about as healthy and strong as I had EVER been in my 55-year old life.  Just look at "old-lefty"-as fine as "frog's hair".  What great memories these pictures hold for me.

At the Rice Park trail head, where I generally put in each time.  Guess I must have loved to wear that shirt when I rode.  It's the one the ER nurses had to cut off of me after my accident :(

My FAVORITE part of the path!  With a good and steady south tailwind, I could always fly down that hill at 20 mph, and if I could stand up on the pedals I could even squeeze 23 mph out of it.  Ahh, for the "good-old" days.


The last day I rode this path was the day that I crashed and I've avoided it like "the plague" for the past 5 and a half months.  It had always been such a happy place for me filled with great times!  Heck, right before leaving on the BAK, I had even made my "peace" with my old nemesis, "the railroad trestle".  Its part in my 2001 bike accident that broke most of my left ribs was forgiven.  All was well.


Today my plan didn't involve Dillon Nature Center at all, rather I had intended to hike the 6 miles from the Rice Park trail head to the Carey Park trail head and back.  Uhm, that didn't work out so good.  Instead of going all 6 miles, I struggled to finish 1 mile. 


From the minute I stepped out of my truck, threw on my backpack, and grabbed Grahame's walking pole, I had a sinking feeling in my heart.  It wasn't right--I'd been on the trail literally hundreds of times in life, but ALWAYS as a cyclist!  I didn't walk this trail, I RODE it! Walkers and hikers were the people I "smuggly" loved to pass, flying by them as if they were standing still!


"ON YOUR LEFT!" I would always yell, hoping they could hear me above the din of the music of their MP3 player.  Now I was one of THEM, and for a brief moment in time, I HATED IT.


I made my way to the starting of the path, the trail head shown in the photo above.  Only THIS time there was no 55-year old woman grinning as she stood by the marker with her bike.  No, this time there was just a woman, left arm safely tucked inside a "powder blue" cast, taking a photo of a place that used to be.  I felt like I could cry, but I didn't.  


Save for only one other walker, there was no one else on the path.  I kind of believe God intended for it to be.  I had lots of time to think in the mile that lay ahead.  My friends, my feelings ran the gamut from, "This sucks." to "I wish it would have NEVER happened."  At the 11th St. bridge turn around, I did just that-TURNED AROUND- and headed back to the truck. I couldn't go any farther and I didn't.  I wasn't just defeated, I got a trouncing.  The path won this time.


Weird, I remember saying aloud "I'd rather ride 20 miles straight into the strongest headwind EVER than to walk one measly mile on THIS trail."  And friends, THAT'S where the really amazing blessing of this weekend really happened.  I realize now that there may be just a little more cycling left in me than I thought and tomorrow when I see Dr. Chan I'll ask his good advice on whether not "old-lefty" can take 10 mile bike rides or not.  And as always, because I trust him with my life and well-being, I'm going to let him "call" this one!


And by the way, that Jim Martinez Bike Path?  I'll be back, but NOT on two feet!  Thank you for reading this and lending a listening ear.  I'll just say it~YOU GUYS ARE THE VERY BEST THERAPISTS I'VE EVER BEEN TO!  :)  Good night friends-I feel better already!

Sometimes, you gotta change~

The weekend is drawing quickly to a close and all in all, it actually turned out to be a pretty good one.  The weather was beautiful for south central Kansas, smack dab in the middle of winter and with a high temperature of 63 degrees here in Hutch this afternoon, well, as my dad always said, "You can't beat that with a stick!"  I got a few things done around the house, had a great visit with each of the kids, enjoyed a nice evening in conversation with a former student last night, AND it only took $52.23 to fill up my truck at the Kwik Shop today!  To think, just yesterday morning I was ready to wish ALL of these blessings and many more away, if only it were January 16th already and I was getting this cast removed.  Glad for me that I didn't foolishly miss out on the chance to experience them.


With the weather being so cooperative here, I thought it was an opportune time to put on my new hiking shoes and head out to a couple of our city's walking trails and give hiking a try.  Turns out a lot of folks felt that same gentle nudging as well.  Trust me, none of us were disappointed!  


My first stop was to a place I have been many times. Dillon Nature Center, located in Northwest Hutchinson, is one of the most beautiful places I've ever been.  Over 100 acres of the "great outdoors" with 3 miles of walking trails await visitors each day. There's so much to see and do there and friends, it matters not whether you are young or old or any age in between...there is something for everyone!.  

 My favorite view, for over 30 years now, has been looking to the east across the pond and watching these guys enjoy the "life of Riley".   Kids of ALL ages are entertained by their noisy antics.  


While there today, I decided to walk a trail that I've known about for years but never took the time to try out.  The "Westar Energy-Prairie Hills Trail", also known as "The Sharon Schmidt Trail" is adjacent to the Dillon Nature Center grounds.  The 1.4 mile round trip path goes through a sea of native prairie grasses, wild flowers,  thickets, a marshy area as well as a prairie dog town.  The route is unmarked but those who hike it just follow the mowed path.  I really enjoyed the time there and will plan to return often.  

Hard to believe as you walk along this path that civilization is only a stone's throw away from you in any direction.  You almost fully expect to encounter Ma and Pa Ingalls, Mary, Carrie, Laura and baby Grace as they come rolling up over the next rise in their covered wagon, asking directions to Montgomery County or something.  It's THAT primitive and realistic!

Since I realize that my days of getting exercise from long-distance cycling are probably "very numbered", I wanted to see how I'd like hiking as an alternative.  Got to admit that at first I was a little skeptical, almost unwilling to give it an honest try.  Sure, Aron Ralston makes it look exciting in his book "Between a Rock and a Hard Place" but then again, the book's cover doesn't show him waving both hands high in the air in a salute of victory, either.  Just now getting "old lefty" healed up so I dang sure don't want to do anything crazy that results in my having to amputate my own arm just because I misjudge the potential for an 800 pound boulder to pin me between that rock and a hard place!

It didn't take me long to realize that I might just really enjoy this hiking idea after all.  I was on the paths for over 2 hours this afternoon and the most amazing thing happened to me...oh yeah, and remember me saying yesterday that I was sure that something amazing would happen to me this weekend?  Well the amazing was this~for over 2 hours today, the greatest "worry wart" on earth (that'd be me) was a slacker in my own, self-imposed job of carrying the weight of everyone else's problems alongside mine.  I left a couple of backpacks full of them at the trail head where I put in.  For the hundreds of steps that followed, I enjoyed life in the great outdoors.  My heart was lighter, my mind clearer, my blood pressure much lower!  And best of all, I had fun! 

 My dear friends, I pray that we don't get so busy with life that we forget to have fun.  The plain and simple truth is that our time here is very quick and each day must count towards something for the good!  Take care of yourselves and one another, please!   Have a good evening all of you!

"Wishing" life away

The VERY first thought that popped into my mind today as I reached over and shut my alarm off this morning at 4:30 was this~"I WISH THIS WEEKEND WAS OVER ALREADY.  I WISH THIS WAS MONDAY AND I WAS SITTING IN THE CAST ROOM GETTING THIS THING OFF OF ME!"  And you know friends, I really meant it too~I wasn't kidding.  I would have been willing to forego the 48 hours of this weekend, give up every opportunity to be blessed by something happening to me (both the good and the bad) just to get this "25 pound exoskeleton" off of my arm!  And the more I've thought about it, the more I realized just how much of my life I've already "wished away" in my impatience to get to the next point in time.  And the truth is, that sobering thought fills me with regret and makes me wonder what I might have already given up, what I already may have missed.  


My friends, I can only speak for myself here but some of you reading this may well say to yourself "Yep, that's me too!"  And if you can say so, rest assured that you are probably in some pretty good company.  We've all been there and done that.  From saying on the WORST Tuesday at work ever, "I just wish it was Friday!" to wishing for the day to come for a better paying and more prestigious job, a bigger and finer house, a dream vacation, or a safe and secure retirement....there probably isn't a one of us "not guilty" of wishing away the very days given to us to enjoy in the meantime.


If I truly believe the words that I've written (and I DO by the way) then I have to also believe that something very good is waiting for me during the course of the 48 hours that lie ahead of me.  And surprise, surprise~whatever that unknown blessing might be, I'm going to experience it with "old lefty" still tucked safe and sound inside its powder blue cast.  


So, let the weekend begin and may my eyes be open to see just what it is that God has in store for me.  Personally (and I just got a chill down my spine) I think something pretty dang amazing  is in store for me.  May the same be said for each and every one of you!

My 3 sisters and I...one of the last photos of "old lefty" as it used to look.  I've been blessed a "thousand fold" since that photo was taken 3 days before my accident last year.  Glad that I didn't wish it all away  :)

There was an old woman who lived in a shoe who had so MANY children she knew NOT what to do!

   You know, I try to be honest as I write these blog posts, because if I'm not, sure enough it always comes back to get me!  So the truth IS, as a kid growing up and throughout my high school years, I never had the desire, the wish, the dream to become a teacher.  That "notion" never even made it to the "forefront" of my brain as I contemplated what to do with my life.  If I would have been asked by a teacher what I wanted to be when I grew up, TRUST ME, the answer, "Oh, I want to be a teacher just like YOU when I grow up!" would NOT have come from the lips of Peggy Scott.  No way~

Looking back now, I guess that my very first remembrance of God giving me that "wake up call", that "whack upside the head" in this life of mine came in January of 1974, the year I met my freshman advisor, Earl Zehr, at Bethel College.  It was that very wise man who pointed out to the then "18-year old" me, that I was born to be a teacher and that he thought it was the path I should take.  Evidently God did too and since that point in time, well that's the road you could find me on. 

Being a teacher, now well over half of my life, has afforded me so many blessings and experiences as well as, sadly, a fair share of heartache.  I have seen the vast majority of my "school" kids grow up, raise a family and become good and productive citizens of this society. Yet, with an extremely heavy heart, I have also attended the funerals of way too many of my young students who have died from cancer, accidents, or violence.  And as if they were my OWN flesh and blood,  I have cried tears that would have put even the "weeping women of Egypt" of the Bible to shame.  It kind of happens that way when you are a teacher.  

In May of 2010, I believed that it was time for me call it "good" and retire from teaching after 32 years.  Truly, I wanted to go out at the "top", you know while I had yet to be referred to as "the grouchy old Mrs. Miller" who should have retired long ago.  LOL Retirement lasted 5 months and I returned to the classroom at Lincoln Elementary in October of 2010 and I've been teaching here, happily ever since.  Guess I misread the memo God intended for my life. Good thing I figured that one out...I would have surely missed the chance to meet all the wonderful staff and remarkable students of Lincoln.  That's a "do over" that I would have hated to miss!

 I have no idea what the future holds for me, my friends and although that "unknown" about where life may take me can be a little bit on the scary side, the one sure thing I feel is this....MY plan for life is in the very capable hands of someone way smarter than THIS teacher will ever suppose to be.  Promise to let you know as soon as I learn myself  :)

The picture below was taken on my last "official" day (yeah, yeah, yeah) of being a teacher.  These were 90 of the greatest ESL kids EVER and my two ESL assistants, Marlen and Mickey (Man, did THOSE 2 ladies ever bail me out a gazillion times!), at Avenue A Elementary.  What a gift they all were to me.   

In May of 2010, I was asked to write a column for our local newspaper, The Hutchinson News, about my thoughts on retiring from my 32-years of teaching.  Recently, I found that column in my files and reread it.  NEVER in my "wildest dreams" did I figure that God had other plans for me, IMAGINE that!  As the days rush by so very quickly, and year "34" will find itself coming to an end as well, I have MUCH to consider for my future.  

Here's the column, my words, thoughts, feelings from 2 years past, 2010.

On saying 'goodbye' to teaching

Peggy Miller - Guest columnist
May 12 will mark the end of an era for me. After 32 years of teaching, it will be my time to stop and say "Goodbye." When the bell rings and I walk out the door for the last time on that day, I'll know I've gone as far in education as I intended.

No one gets to this point in life without the help and support of others. As I clean off my desk and tie up all the loose ends of my career, I'm reminded of all the people who helped me get to this milestone in life.

The late Harold Voth, superintendent of USD 312 of Haven, gave me my first job in 1979. His faith and trust in me as a new teacher inspired me to always do my best. My parents, John and Lois Scott, taught me the value of hard work. They knew it was something I would need to know. My three children, Ursela, Grahame and Ricky "shared" me with hundreds of other kids over the years. They put up with endless calls to parents, weekends of grading papers and a variety of other things that took me away from them. And I would be remiss if I didn't mention a very wise person who stopped me from dropping out of college in the first place when I had only one year left to finish. He knew that I'd make a great teacher, and I have him to thank for it.

The experience has been diverse, and that's just the way I wanted it. I have taught Amish first- and second-graders at Yoder Elementary and Hispanic ESL students here at Avenue A Elementary. I even did a three-year stint at Hutchinson Middle School 7 and 8 teaching foreign language to students there. I've been able to teach summer school, do after-school tutoring and even teach adults how to speak the English language in order to help their own children with their schoolwork. I have been able to teach at Haven Grade School and Morgan and Lincoln elementary schools here in Hutchinson. I've met many great students and staff along the way.

There has been a vast amount of changes since I began back in 1979. The advent of technology has brought computers, Smart Boards, digital cameras and Elmos to the classroom. When I speak to students about how we used to make copies back in the "good old days" using a mimeograph machine, they look at me like I'm from another planet.

"What do you mean that you had blue hands?" they always ask.

And although we did our fair share of testing back in the early days, I had never heard of the Kansas State Assessments and KELPA testing yet. Change has been inevitable, and although I don't always agree that it has been good, it is what it is. Being flexible and willing to try new things makes the job of a teacher just that much easier.

When the school year first started in August, I decided to keep a journal of each school day. I wanted to use the time to reflect on how I felt about being a teacher. I was going to use these thoughts to determine if I really was ready to retire. It didn't take long for me to realize that I was at the point in time when I wanted to choose my own destiny. So on my 54th birthday, Oct. 26, 2009, I did just that. I didn't cry when I turned my letter in, but I am not promising I will not on my last day.

So upon leaving, I'd like to impart a little advice to teachers, not only those in USD 308 but teachers everywhere. Friends, the greatest lessons that we can teach children do not come from a textbook or are written in our lesson plans. Show students the importance of being good citizens and that honesty and kindness will take them a long way in this world. Get out of your "comfort zones" and actually do home visits. Find out where your students live and actually go there to see them and interact with their families. Never give up on students, ever. The very students that we say probably won't make it will turn out to be the ones who most need us to say they can.

And finally, remember that most of us didn't get into teaching for a huge paycheck each month, which is probably a good thing. Know that teaching is a noble and good profession.

I wish only the best for my co-workers and the students at Avenue A. These past seven years will be forever held close to my heart. And as the saying goes, "If you were able to read this, be sure to say thanks to a teacher."


Peggy Miller is a longtime teacher retiring this year from Avenue A Elementary School in Hutchinson.

If the truth be told

With 6 days remaining before I head to "the land of miracles" to get the last cast removed, I can assure you there is one question that I don't plan to ask about this time...and that would be, "When can I start riding my bike again?"  It seems so weird to think that at this point in time, only 2 months ago, that was ALL I could think about asking.  Now, it's the LEAST thing I need to worry about.

If the truth be told, I've seen the proverbial "handwriting on the wall" for sometime now.  In retrospect, I actually think I got the message at 7:30 a.m., August 4, 2011 at the moment I flew off my bike and smacked the curb.  For better or worse, I think that my days of being the kind of long-distance cyclist that I USED to be are now done.  I've been dreading making the decision about what to do in regards to returning to active cycling but it almost seems inevitable.  It is what it is~things will NEVER be the same.  

I've come a long way since the time I hopped on a bike for the first time at age 17.   Yeah, yeah, yeah I know~a late bloomer but I surely did make up for it in the 39 years that followed.  I have ridden thousands of miles since that "first ever" bike ride and after 5 unsuccessful attempts at trying, I went on my very first Bike Across Kansas in June of 2011.  I have ridden into 25 mph headwinds from the south, so strong that I could barely keep my bike up only to turn around and head north with those very same winds pushing me back as I peddled (kind of, sort of) at 22 mph.  Although I never DID ride a "century" in one day, I dang sure came close when I rode 80 miles one Saturday this past spring..  I'm ok with what I was able to do, nothing to be ashamed of and I know it.

 And true, I HAVE had my share of accidents, seven of them in fact, but even with broken bones (plenty of them), I was always able to "regroup", heal and start strong again.....that is until this time.  Now things have changed and I'm well aware of the fact that even after 3 surgeries, "old lefty" can never be the same again.  At age 56, with a left wrist that has obviously been through the mill, it may well be time to think in terms of finding another activity to help me stay physically fit.  Friends, I think I might have an idea.

My son Grahame gave me the book, "Between a Rock and a Hard Place" for Christmas this year.  It's the true story of a young man named Aron Ralston, a seasoned hiker and mountaineer who found himself alone and trapped deep in Blue John Canyon, Utah~his right arm pinned by an 800-pound boulder.  After nearly a week of trying to free himself and very near unto death, Aron made the courageous and only decision he could in order to survive~he amputated his own arm and miraculously managed to escape.  What a story, what a courageous and daring guy!  If you haven't read the book, it comes highly recommended by me.

As I read his descriptions of the many hikes he took before the accident as well as the many he went on later, I began to be inspired to learn to hike just as he did.  I already love walking for exercise and seems to me that hiking is just a longer version of a walk through what may turn out to be some beautiful new scenery for me.  I already walk a mile each day and would like to increase that overall mileage a little each week.  I also want to begin to visit some new hiking trails around the area as well as plan to visit as many trails as possible when I head to Maine this summer.  Actually, I think it sounds very fun and since I won't be jumping any curbs, it should  prove to be much safer as long as I don't have to amputate an arm or anything!

I will always love to ride a bike and will continue to do so as much as "old lefty" allows me too!  But this experience has taught me there are plenty of other things out there just waiting for me to try them and friends, that is what I intend to do!  I encourage you to do likewise!  Good Night and Sweet Dreams!  :)

Peggy's new "HAPPY FEET"-I found a great pair of Keen Hikers on sale here in Hutch.  I broke them in on my mile walk after school today.  They felt great!

Bucket list item #1-THE REST OF THE STORY

My blog post of a couple of days back, you know the one about the plans I'm making for a 2 week and nearly 2,000 mile journey to see a lighthouse in Maine, has inspired several of my friends to send an e-mail my way.  A few of the messages question my reasoning for driving rather than flying, WHY the state of Maine of all places, as well has how on earth the book, "Sarah, Plain and Tall" could have had the influence it did over my decision to do all of this in the first place?  So hopefully, this post will do a fair enough job with filling in the story's gaps.  

First, "Sarah, Plain and Tall"~  Don't know how many of you have ever read Patricia MacLachlin's 1986 Newberry Award winner.  As a teacher, I've had the chance to read it to my  students many times over the years.  Just in case you've never heard of it~The book tells the story of a widowed farmer, Jacob Witting, who is living in western Kansas in the early 1900's.  Desperately looking for a wife who will help him raise his two young children, Caleb and Anna, he takes out an advertisement in a newspaper back East.  His ad is answered by a woman named Sarah Wheaton who makes the long journey from her home in Camden, Maine by train to the wide-open prairies of my home state, Kansas.

There are many poignant parts in the story, from the children's sometimes reluctant acceptance of Sarah, to Jacob's haunting memories of his late wife, to Sarah's being so very homesick for her beloved home in Maine.  Throw in a prairie fire, having to "pull" a calf as it is being born, and the mischievous episodes of cat named Seal...well, then you are talking about a book that is not only nearly impossible to put down but also hard to read JUST once.  Won't say more 'cause I want you to read it but I can tell you this...the ending is "perfect".

I loved the book, every single page, but there was one part that made a particularly lasting impression upon me.  In that part of the story, Sarah is homesick and so very much misses life back in Maine.  She yearns to see her home by the sea once again!  One day she goes to town to buy supplies and while there she purchases a drawing pad and colored pencils to show Caleb and Anna the "the blues and greens, the colors of the sea."  She proceeds to tell the children of this beautiful land that is so very far distant from their home on the dry and dusty Kansas prairie~Maine.

From the very first time I read that part in the book, I realized just how alike I was to those 2 children.  I'm a "farm girl" from the tiny Kansas town of Haven who has never in 56 years lived anywhere but Reno County, Kansas.  The only "seas" that I ever knew of were the seas of golden "hard red winter wheat" that my father harvested every summer.  Like Caleb and Anna Witting, "Peggy Miller" wanted to know too.  What would it be like to walk along that shoreline or smell the scent of the ocean?  Was it really as beautiful and enticing as Sarah made it sound?  I knew that one day I would HAVE to find out for myself.


Come June 1st I will do just that.  I look so forward to venturing out of the "comfort zone" I live in and seeing sights along the way that I have only heard others speak of.  Never been a fan of flying besides that, driving enables me to stop wherever I want to along the way.  Pretty sure there are plenty of things out there for me to see that aren't even ON the map.  And please don't worry about me, I won't plan to move there.  Maine will be a great place to visit, but "Peggy Miller's name" has always been and forever will be written in Kansas soil.  Good night friends!

Bucket list item #1

"Miller Bucket List" item #1~"to travel to Maine and see a lighthouse"


I cannot even recall how long it has been that I had this wish to go to Maine and see a lighthouse for the first time.  By my best recollection, it's been at LEAST 10 years now, thus putting it long before the time of even my very first bucket list.  I honestly cannot say how the idea came to be in the first place.  I prefer to liken it to what results after watching my favorite movie, "Sarah, Plain and Tall" about a gazillion times and listening to Gordon Lightfoot's "Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald" equally as much.  You're just bound to come up with a trip to Maine to see a lighthouse somehow!


You know, you can only hold on to the dream of a journey like that for so long and then it's time to do something about it.  So that's why last month in December, I made the commitment to myself to take care of my #1 item this summer, June 1st - 15th.  Friends, as I write this post tonight, I do so with the request that you help me keep my "feet to the fire" in order that I follow through with this.  For even as much as I look forward to making this journey, it is perhaps the one item that I will find the most difficult to accomplish.  Explanations to follow....


In the 6 months that lie ahead, I have much planning to do.  Once a month, I'll post how things are going towards the preparations.  My hope is that by doing so, I'll be able to be more focused on what needs to be done.  By the way, if any of you more "seasoned" travellers out there have any suggestions or travel tips for me, I'd be happy to hear them.  Don't be bashful 'cause I need all the help I can get.  When I jokingly say to people that I don't get out very much....well, I really DON'T.  The last time I was away from home for more than 3 nights was in 1999.  Need I say more?


This will be QUITE the driving trip for me with a journey starting here in south central Kansas in the early morning hours of June 1st and ending up 1,780 miles later in Cape Elizabeth, Maine.  On the way there, I shall lay my head on a pillow at night in the states of Missouri, Ohio, Pennsylvania and New York.  This is where the "difficult" part of this bucket list item comes in...I would be the first to admit that my driving experiences in major cities and long distance trips away from home go by the name "Slim to None".  I'm 56 years old but I only learned how to drive in Wichita just 3 years ago.  This past November I made a spur of the moment trip to "corn country"~Iowa and for the first time ever in my life, I drove through Kansas City-rush hour in the dark.  I survived with no trouble at all but it did take a minute upon arrival in Osceola to peel my fingers off of their "death grip" on the steering wheel.  


It's a "given" that the journey to the north east coast of Maine will not be made in a day, or even two.  Much time will be spent in travel but that's "ok" as well.  I've allowed myself 14 days to do this in and if there is a sight or two that I want to stop and see along the way, then I think I'll do it.  I'm looking forward to there being a lot of beautiful country that this "Kansas farm girl" has never even seen yet.  And since I'm only 4 years shy of the ripe old age of 60, I've gotta get a "move on." 


My friends, what else would you like to see in this great land of ours?  Where have you been that you always wanted to return to?  What's stopping you from doing it?  Only asking and reminding you how very short this life is, that's all.  Good night and good sleep to all of you my dear friends!

I wrote "it" in with a Sharpie so it's GOT to happen :)

My destination-The Portland Head Lighthouse in Cape Elizabeth, Maine.  I "won't be in Kansas any more" when I get there!

Anything left?

As the weekend fast approaches and I enter the "single digit" days of wearing this sleek and stylish, powder blue "exoskeleton" (formerly known as my cast :), I've started to have this gnawing feeling inside of me that I'm missing something.  And you know, it's not like I might have forgotten to take a dose of medicine or anything like that.  For dang sure, I haven't missed a dr. appointment and ask me at any given time just how many hours remain until "old lefty's" freedom date, January 16, 2012, and I can tell you "just like that".  (By the way, as of this posting, that'd be 229 hours left to go.) 


No friends, this kind of feeling of missing something has to do with all of the lessons I have learned in the last 5 months since this whole thing started.  Because in my heart I know that everything that happens to me on this earth happens for a reason, just a "part of the plan", well I can't help but believe there must be one more thing to learn about.  For the life of me though, I cannot tell you what it might be.  Got to say, I know it's out there~I just haven't discovered it yet, but I'm fairly positive that I will.


Even if my infamous "sixth sense" is wrong and there really is nothing left for me to find out about myself as the result of taking the most expensive bike ride in the world that August day, I still will come away with more self-enlightenment than I ever dreamed would be possible.  Here's why~


OK, I figure that I've learned to be a little more patient, that's for sure and anyone who has known me for any part of my 56 years of life can attest to the fact that you seldom hear the name "Peggy" mentioned with the word "patient" in any conversation about me.  But when you're faced with the challenges of anything from dressing yourself one-handed to waiting on stubborn and busted bones to heal, well, being patient is the only thing you can be!


It's a "no-brainer" that I FINALLY at long last figured out that I'd have to break down and ask for help from others in order to make it through this ordeal.  Gone now are the days when I thought I was just fine doing everything on my own, that Peggy Miller didn't need anyone else to help her~I could do everything for myself, thank you!  In the past 5 months there have been times aplenty when I needed assistance to do even the simplest of daily tasks like washing my hair, tying my shoes, squeezing toothpaste onto my toothbrush, clipping my fingernails or opening my mail each day.  My ridiculously "bull headed" belief that I would always be fine doing without anyone's assistance would be disproved time and time again.


Thinking, as well, that I learned a whole lot about just how vain I could be at times.  For crying out loud, 2 weeks into the recovery process (mid-August) I became appalled at the condition of my towel closet!  What had happened to my beautifully organized, pristinely folded stacks of towels and wash cloths?  That haphazardly thrown together "mess" of towels couldn't be mine!  But it was.  Pretty good thing for me that I let go of the vanity I used to exhibit in what clothes I would wear.  At this point in time I have only 3 shirts, left sleeves cut out of them, that I rotate wearing to school each day.  Those 3 shirts, white, navy and black, all came from the local Mennonite thrift store~hey if I was going to cut them up anyway I sure as the world wasn't heading to the Mall to purchase them.  I don't mind cutting up shirts with a price tag of $1.50 on them, but "on sale" $40 shirts? Those I DO mind!


So if I've already learned the lessons of patience, vanity and reliance upon others, then what's left?  Why on earth am I feeling this strange sensation of something yet to learn from?  Might there be something more?  Friends, I guess the answer to that question lies in this~If there IS yet something more that God has in mind for me to learn, then I need not even be fretting about it.  In His "perfect way of timing", I'll find out any way.  Oh wow, by the way~I just now figured out what was left for me to learn ;)


Good night friends~good sleep to all!

Just remember friends, a bad day is all in perspective!

Trading daylight for dark

First off a comment by one of my 3rd graders at school yesterday, upon seeing "old lefty's" current set of x-rays, you know, the ones that look like Red Green's tool box exploded inside my arm.  Out of the mouths of babes.......


"Wow, Mrs. Miller this is SO cool!  Now you look just like Edward Scissorhands!"


Got to tell you my friends, I've been told I resemble a lot of different people but never has the name "Edward Scissorhands" been used in conversation about it.  :)  Thus, in the spirit in which it was given, "Old Lefty" and I shall take that as a compliment!  No wonder that the late Art Linkletter made such a fortune coining the phrase, "Kids say the darndest things!"


Today, on day #153 of "old-lefty's confinement", I got a bit of welcome news.  Dr. Chan's office called me to see if it was "ok" to move my January 20th appointment up by 4 days.  Well, of course you just KNOW how long I had to think about my response to THAT kind of offer.  Trust me guys, the comment "Thanks but, NAH I love this cast way too much to even THINK of giving it up 4 days early, Dr. Chan." was NOT my reply! 


"You bet.  It's great!" I half-ways yelled back into the phone.  And with that, my waiting time was cut to only "11 sleeps more" before I hopefully lose the last cast I will ever need in this life.  I believe I can probably handle that.  LOL


Even with hoping for the cast to be removed on January 16th, I'm pretty much guaranteed another 4 weeks of wearing a removable splint. At the end of that 4-week period of time, I will have devoted slightly over 6 months of my life to getting better, healing up from the accident on August 4th.  Having lived 56 years already, at first glance that 6 month period is nothing, a mere "drop in the bucket." But one thing I've learned as I've grown older is that the days fly by quickly, without even so much as a "how do you do?"  I have often laughed and told my younger friends that I have to hustle and stop trading "daylight for dark".  As we grow older, as the weeks and months of our lives continue to pass us by, it's wise to stop and remember that our days here are indeed numbered.  


I'm really glad that I continued working on my "bucket list" items as I recuperated from my surgeries.  If this would have happened to me back in the days of my "foolish" youth, I might well have taken the attitude that it would just be better to wait until I was well again before tackling anything from a "bucket list", because there would ALWAYS be plenty of time, right?  I put myself at the very top of the "people who are foolish" totem pole.  


I pray to have plenty of time left on this earth~I love life and I love living it to the fullest.  But if it were nearly done for me at this point in time, I'd be able to leave knowing  that I've...


~seen the most beautiful sunrise and sunset in the world
~ridden my bike half-way across the state of Kansas
~ connected with many of my family members and Facebook friends this year
~went back to swimming lessons
~tried to do something for the "good" for a complete stranger
~ridden on the back of a motorcycle very fast and lived to tell about it


And so much more is waiting for me....and dear friends, I'm heading out to find it.  Please, I beg you~Do NOT let life pass you by.  Seize every opportunity that comes your way to live life at its best, its fullest.  As I've said before, many times...even IF you don't have a "bucket list" at the very least, find one thing you would wish to do and after that's done, then find another.  You may well be surprised to find all that is out there waiting for you!  :)  I sure was!

  My little friend, Nadonna, and I at school yesterday.  We kind of color coordinated, the way it looks!  She is "good medicine" for this "old teacher."

Heck, come to think of it, the resemblance IS rather uncanny.  Yeah, I DO look like Edward Scissorhands, thank you very much!  LOL  :)

It gets better

Tonight I'm thinking of my little friend Nadonna....you may remember her as a fellow member of the "broken arm club" at Lincoln Elementary this year.  She's the sweetest little kindergarten girl who had the misfortune of breaking her arm in a fall just a month after I broke mine.  Nadonna and I became "fast friends" as we both commiserated about how really "not fun" it was to have been hurt.  We stuck together in a friendship that was linked by a common thread~a badly broken arm in a cast.  Good thing for the both of us that we did because despite the 50 year gap in our ages, I needed her and she needed me.  Together we made it~


I'll never forget the day in late October when I found Nadonna at the breakfast table at school, with a look on her face that told me she needed help.  She was sitting there, a tray of food in front of her, unable to open up her cereal, milk, and juice.  The expression on her little 6-year old face was one of sadness, frustration, and hopelessness.  After I helped her get things opened, I gave her a hug and whispered in her ear..."Don't give up little one.  It gets better, I promise you."


It DID get better for Nadonna and by Thanksgiving time her arm had healed sufficiently for the doctor to dismiss her from his care.  She came to school that next Monday, seeking me out with one simple request..."Mrs. Miller, I want you to take our picture now cause we don't have any casts!"  For Nadonna, I was so glad to oblige.

Tomorrow, it's back to school time for the kids and staff at Lincoln Elementary.  When I get up in the morning and ready myself for school, I'll do the best I can one-handed.  I'm not worried a bit because if I should find myself in trouble, there are over 250 students and staff that will stand ready to help me pick up the slack and carry my part of the load alongside theirs.


No need to worry about a thing for me.  I'll be well taken care of by people, kids and grown ups alike, who believe in helping one another.  And they do it each and every day, not because they are looking for something from it for themselves, but because it is the right and honorable thing to do for one another.


By the way, today was a happier day for me.  For as rough as day #150 was, day #151 was actually pretty peaceful.  And I do believe what I told little Nadonna that frustrating October morning to be so very true~ "It gets better."


I understand so well now what the phrase, "When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on!" really means.  I'm not giving up...I intend to hang on.  Good night everyone!

It was just a matter of time

I'm afraid today will go down in the history books of "old lefty's" troubles as the day I finally "hit the wall" and I should have seen it coming cause it was only a matter of time my friends.  And when I "hit the wall" (just like when I hit curbs) I generally tend to do it pretty dang hard.  Just for a moment, it got a little bit on the scary side.

You know, I've been doing ok with having my arm broken for the past 5 months now.  I guess I've endured my fair share of troubles with only a few tears shed.  For the past 149 days, I've pressed on, moving towards that FINAL doctor appointment when Dr. Chan and I would bid our farewells to one another.  I'd be pronounced "healed" and finally I'd be able to go home and return to whatever my new "normal" would be.  It wasn't the easiest of things that I'd ever done but I was making it ok.

Today things changed rather quickly and "old lefty" and I went from "sailing in smooth waters" to riding out one heck of a storm that arrived in the form of a panic attack.  In the early afternoon I had gone to school to see what I'd need to do to be ready to return on Tuesday of this week.  I only stayed 30 minutes and then started to head towards home.  Driving north on Plum Street, it started to hit me~this overwhelmingly claustrophobic feeling with regards to the cast on my left arm.  It started out, simply enough, as an itchy feeling deep inside the cast and if you've ever had a cast, well then you know what I'm talking about.  The more I realized that I could never scratch that itch, then the worse it became.  And the worse it became, the more I wanted to get that cast the heck off my arm.  By the time I made it the mile home to my house, I was having one of my mom's famous panic attacks.

It lasted only 20 minutes but it might as well have been 20 hours and as with most panic attacks, the thing I feared (never being able to get rid of my cast) had no rational basis at all.  `If you have ever experienced one, then you understand completely what I'm talking about.  Let me tell you, God got an "earful" from me as I went from believing that having my bike accident on August 4th was the best thing that ever happened to me, to believing that only an idiot would try to jump a curb while riding a bike.  I'm pretty sure I uttered the phrases "I give up!", "I hate this stupid cast!", and "I'm tired of fighting a broken arm!" at least a dozen times and I would be the first to admit that my language was cleaned up for this blog post.  I'm not proud of the way I talk under stress sometimes and today for that 20 minute segment of time, there was stress aplenty.

Have to be honest, more than a few tears were shed by me and I know God and Oblio the round-head cat understood.  Today, on the 150th day of this long journey, I broke, hit the wall, surrendered, threw out the white flag, had it up to "here", and behaved like the fallible human being that we all are.  I lost the focus of this whole ordeal and that was getting "old lefty" healed up once again.  So with black Sharpie in hand, I visited my friend who helped me write the following reminder message on "old lefty's" cast...

This cast has to be worn for 19 more days before it can be removed so in the meantime, whenever I get that feeling of going down a long road by myself, this message will be both the personal and proverbial "kick in the seat of the pants" to remind me otherwise.  How quickly I forgot today.

150 days down....not NEARLY as many left to go~I can do it, I'm positive!  It almost got me today, but I am still more determined than I am afraid!  Good Night All!