Taking "old lefty" 10 months down the road

How it all began-August 4, 2011

I always hate to admit it when vanity plays an important part in who "Peggy Miller" is, but the truth is that I've had a little trouble with that ever since "old lefty" was released from its last "exoskeleton" in March.  I found myself feeling really self-conscious about the scars from the three surgeries and what I perceive to still be a prominent swollen area, or as the kids at school always called it, "the bump".  I still notice it all the time but people who know me say it really doesn't look that bad at all.  Usually, I "beg to differ" with them, but that's just me.


For the past 3 months I've been accustomed to wearing 3/4 length sleeves in my shirts.  Now I didn't take up that practice because of my beautiful "grandma arms and skin", although I admit to having them.  I was wearing that particular length of sleeve because I knew that it would cover up some of the evidence of my accident last August.  Then I always put a t-shirt over the other shirt because it just made me feel better....almost like "old lefty" was more protected.  People who know me, especially my friends at school, are saying to themselves right now, "Oh my gosh, she's right!  She did dress like that."  


It worked for awhile, as a matter of fact a nearly 12-week while, It was a habit I got into and since the weather wasn't the "summertime hot" that it is now, it actually felt "ok".  And then summer came and I gotta tell you friends, wearing a long sleeved shirt in the month of June not only doesn't feel good, it's just not right.  I knew it would soon be time to stop wearing the long sleeves.  Sooner or later, I'd have to wear a t-shirt only and whether I was ready for it or not, "old lefty" was going to have to be bare.  Believe me when I tell you it was a hard thing to do.


You know how some people take cute pictures of their dogs or cats, or maybe the new grandkids, or their child's first piano recital?  Well I take pictures of "old lefty", starting last August and right up to now.  I have done it to remind myself just how far I have come since that ridiculously fateful day, now 10 months past.  Some of them are not very pretty, in fact a couple of them look downright "scary" to some people.  But it is what it is, my left arm.  "Old lefty's" progress is shown below.....from August until now, June 5th, 2012.

                                                       August-2011

                                                     Late August-2011

                   Late September-2011, "Old lefty's" wrist could only turn that far.

                                 Actually looking pretty decent-late October-2011

Not too bad here and a reprieve was granted before the 3rd surgery in December to get rid of the "bump".



Before my December surgery     (top)                        
In January, after cast removal (bottom)


Every once in a while, even now almost a year after it all happened, I need to remind myself of how far I have come.  I had a chance to visit with Dr. Goin, the surgeon who did the initial emergency repair in the early hours after I got hurt, in early May.  He couldn't believe the way my arm had healed up!  I knew, early on that Thursday morning, that this was a serious problem.  Dr. Goin had not given me a whole lot of hope that things would get better soon and sent me on to a specialist right away in Wichita.  Now, 9 months later, he was ecstatic about my progress and told me how fortunate I was to have an arm, wrist and hand to use again.  When Dr. Chan saw me again in May, he too expressed joy that things had come along so well.  


So here I am, with a modern-day miracle attached to my left shoulder and I'm worried about what people will think about 4 scars and a swollen area?  As I sit here typing this, I'm wearing a t-shirt and "old lefty" is about as bare as can be.  It may indeed take a while to be comfortable with how it really looks and what I perceive it to be.  If my friends, say it's looking "ok" then who am I to say it is not?


A good friend of mine suggested that I should let a tattoo artist "tattoo" around the areas of the stitches so that I'd always remember them.  Really, this happened to me-someone suggested it.  I'd probably jump on that idea except for one of my very dear friends, who absolutely would "blow a gasket"  if I got one more tattoo. He made it pretty clear to me, and since I do value his opinion-I just don't always follow his ideas, that I should not get ONE MORE tattoo!  So I'm going with the advice of one of the truest friends I have and nix the idea of tattooing my scars.  I won't get in near the trouble that way.


"Old lefty" is hanging in there, getting stronger every day.  Still having trouble with some of the fine motor stuff and have to ask for help a lot when it comes to opening up things like salad dressing packets.  But hey come to think of it, I had trouble with those things long before my accident.  So do a lot of other people, by the way :) And on my recent 4,000 mile journey to Maine and back, "old lefty" held up her part of the driving responsibilities.  In fact, I am now sporting one heck of a callous on the left palm but ironically, not the right.  With limited feeling yet in the left hand, I'm sure the "death grip" I had on the steering wheel was a little tighter with my left hand than the right.  Just one more souvenir of a wonderful New England vacation.


I'm gonna work on this "vanity" problem and try to do better.  You all are my good friends and I bet you didn't choose me as your friend  because I had the most beautiful left arm in the world.  You chose me for who I am on the inside and that, my friends, is what really counts for all of us in this world of ours.  Good Night from me and "old lefty".

Nah, come to think of it, it doesn't look too bad after all.  Maybe everyone was right!