I was in my house....not necessarily the one in Valley Center nor was it the one in Hutch. I was just there and the problem was that I couldn't leave to go outside. There was a darn good reason for that by the way~just outside the door and standing in the front yard, the most gigantic and fierce looking lion that ever lived and surely the prototype for the MGM trademark, was waiting for me. And friends, it wasn't there to pick me up to go to Sunday School and church. It was there to devour me. Try as I might, I could never be brave enough to open the door and make a run for it. When the dream was over, I woke up and knew exactly what it meant to me.
I'm thinking pretty sure that my dream was a manifestation of the uncertainty and doubt that I felt about getting back on my bike and riding again. Since Dr. Chan dismissed me, now well over a month ago, I've hesitated even considering whether or not to get back on and ride. The good doctor gave me the "go ahead" but of course with a "catch" and his words sounded like this..."just don't crash and burn again." I've taken those words to heart and for the past several weeks have thought of a thousand reasons why I probably shouldn't try to ride again.
Friends, are you like me? Do you try to analyze your dreams and figure out the "hidden message" that they bring to you? Well this was one that I HAD to try to determine the meaning of, dangerous as that might be! :) The lion in my dream didn't represent my bike nor did it represent the accident of August 4th, 2011. That "King of the Beasts" was my "fear" and "uncertainty" in this life. Just like that lion kept me at bay in my house, my fears, especially those of riding a bike again, kept me from enjoying a pastime that I have loved for many years now. And borrowing the words of my dear friend from long ago in Haven, Barbara Kincaid, it seemed to be the perfect time to "run to the roar." And so yesterday, Monday the 9th of April in the year 2012, I decided to do it. I was going to ride my bike for the first time since my accident.
When I left home in Valley Center yesterday morning, tucked deep into my backpack were my biking shoes, helmet and gloves. It felt good to have them in my hands once again and to know that at the end of school that day, I'd be perhaps flying down the bike path once again. All day long I thought about the ride and how I would feel, how much courage I would have to summon up before I could even put one foot into the toe clip to push down. Could I do it? I went to the experts at school, my students, for their opinion and advice.
I asked the kids if they thought I'd do ok if I tried to ride my bike once again. They could tell how nervous I was about it and because they've been through all of this with me, I knew their advice would be sound. The overwhelming consensus was "yes" I should do it...but equally overwhelming was their best advice, "act your age Mrs. Miller, no more curb jumping!" With that vote of confidence, I didn't see how I could go wrong.
After school was finished for the day, I put on my biking gear and with my bike at my side, I knew that the time had come. I said a prayer for safety and without hesitation, I stepped onto the bike and off I went. It was a now or never moment and obviously too late to turn back now...and it wasn't because I was falling in love...ok, ok...unless you are a child of the 70's and grew up listening to the music of the Cornelius Brothers and Sister Rose, that comment is totally lost for you. Ask a grownup to explain it to you, ok?
Friends, going into 5 foot deep water, riding on the back of a motorcycle at 124 mph, riding my bike halfway across the state of Kansas, moving all of my belongings from the security of my home in Hutch to the unknown of Valley Center~none of these things required even half of the courage that I needed to put my foot into the toe clip and trust enough to pedal away. That first "push down" of the foot was pretty dang scary but I did it and off I went! I headed straight for the bike path and I knew without even looking at the odometer that by the time I went off of it and headed back to school that I would have gone 12 miles.
The ride itself was uneventful....well as far mishaps go. But barely into the first mile of it, I knew that it would be a blessed ride...couldn't help but be. I had only been on the bike path for 10 minutes before I came upon my dear friend, Sally. She had suffered a similar mishap with her "old lefty" two years prior to me. Sally was the one who said Dr. Chan was the ONLY one she would recommend for a surgeon and 3 days after the first of many surgeries to repair my arm, it was Sally who who showed up at my house bearing gifts that would help my recovery time speed along more smoothly. I hadn't seen her since that time, now almost 9 months ago. But there she was today, walking along the path for exercise and encouraging her crazy friend Peggy Miller to have fun but be careful! It was no accident she was there....Sally was there for a reason.
I don't think I've ever had a ride in my whole life where I did not have to stop, not even once, for traffic or pedestrians walking by. Basically for the entire 75 minutes that I was out there I never had to stop my bike for any reason. Kind of a weird feeling to get every green light and folks there were plenty of them. Oh boy that was a good thing...because as sore as my "sit down" was, I don't think I could possibly even dream of starting the pedaling process all over again. If you've ever been in that position (literally) you will know exactly what I mean! Even the one snake I saw on the bike path was pretty much overly complacent as to my presence there. It just continued to find the best spot for sunbathing that it possibly could and minded its own business. It was about as close to a "dream ride" as I could have ever asked for. But I need to be careful saying that...the last time I had a "dream ride" ended up being the first day of 8 month's worth of a broken arm!
Even though I was probably overly vigilant, I made it just fine! "Old lefty" got a little tired but as long as I rested it off of the handlebars from time to time, there were no problems. I huffed and I puffed, a couple of the hills on the path were a little tough to climb, and by the end of the 12 miles I knew I'd had a workout. But the bottom line is this....I did it and I didn't crash.
Dear friends, may I ask you.... are you afraid of trying something? What is it that keeps you from doing it? I'm sorry that I haven't even one bit of good advice as to how you might give it a try. I just believe that if you are indeed meant to do it, that when the time is right, it will happen for you...heck for any and all of us.
I'm not ready to do a "century" ride yet, that's for sure. But I "stared down" the lion and turns out, it wasn't such a mighty beast after all. I only "thought" it was. Should you ever find yourself "face to face" with one, may courage be yours.
Have a great Tuesday everyone!
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