The house is eerily quiet and pretty much empty as I sit here on the floor, pounding away on this keyboard. Sure glad that the friendly people at Cox Communications haven't shut down the Internet yet because there was one more blog post that I didn't realize I should write before I leave here.
I have often told people of my story of being a CNA, providing long-term care for the elderly in our community here in Hutchinson. One of the greatest privileges of that whole job was to be able to be with them in their final moments here on this earth. You know, in my opinion it is a real blessing to be there by their bedside and hold their hand as they take their final breaths and with peace "slip" away to a place far better than this one will ever be, even at its "best" of times. And when it is finally over and done, I have seen many of my co-workers as well as myself, break down in tears of sorrow as our hearts feel the "personal" loss of a friend. Getting "too close, too attached" to a person that you take care of in the long-term care setting can be a "not so good" thing but I just figure it's a part of the way life can turn out to be. And I can only hope that when "Peggy Miller" dies that there will be someone there to hold my hand and cry for me.
Friends, I thought of this late last evening as I was finishing up the very last full day that I will call Hutchinson "home". Even though I am sure of the knowledge that this move today to Valley Center is going to be a part of "the plan" for my life, I started to become afraid and doubtful. And the more I thought about it, the more unsure I was. Hate to admit it, but there were more than just a couple of tears that began to roll down my face and all of a sudden I was more afraid than I was determined. And I can't believe that I have to say that, but it is true.
When my eyes finally closed in sleep about 11 it was with the knowledge that a huge chunk of my life was now going to change and I think I would be so remiss if I didn't tell you that I know I'm going to miss it here. After 56 years, you know you kind of / sort of get into a habit, a pattern of living in just such a certain way. Having endured 8 months of "old lefty's" experience, I realize all too well the need, as dear old Mrs. Carmichael from back home in Haven would always say, to get a "move on". So today, Saturday the 31st of March in the spring of my 57th year, I'm doing just that.
In just a couple of hours, my son Grahame will be starting up the UHaul and leading the way for us towards Valley Center. So very grateful that the load has been made lighter by my sons Ricky and Grahame and my daughter Ursela as we packed life "away" during these past two days. What an ordeal and I'm telling you guys....in the near future I'm definitely going to be travelling a lot lighter. This experience in moving has taught me a lot and one of the most beneficial things is this: The "100 Thing" movement has its own great merits. To my sister-in-law Paula and nephew Christopher as well as my good friend Pat and her granddaughter, Ella, I say "thank you" for helping me move today. The load is always lighter with many hands at work.
I feel better now having sent this message and it doesn't even surprise me~I knew it would even as I hit the first "keystroke" of the computer. I have said many times before, when life gets overwhelming just as it did last night for a moment, the very best therapy for me is to sit down and write about it. Works every time for me.
Well, it's nigh onto 4:00 AM now and surely by now many of you are "up and at it", right? In an hour, I'll pay a visit to the 30th Street McDonald's and order the "usual" for my breakfast and then get home and finish up a few last minute things. In Sarasota, Florida right now there is a family of 5 loading up into their UHaul van as well and heading towards a new life of their own here in Hutchinson, KS. There's a little girl I want to meet....her name is Kaylynn. She's coming here to the land of "Ahs" to live with her family in her Great-Aunt Peggy's house. At the wonderful age of "2", she's getting the chance to find out what it's like to grow up in the Midwest. I can't wait to see how she loves it here~May Godspeed her precious journey with her grandparents, Scott and Lisa and her parents, Danielle and Chris.
So, I guess it's "good bye" Hutchinson, Ks. Thanks for being my home for all of these years. And you know, I guess if I was a city....then I'd hope that someday someone would cry when they had to leave me too.
And Valley Center, I'm on my way! I cannot wait to find out what it is that God has in store for me there. Knowing Him, it's going to be wonderful, whatever it is :) I am sure to love it there~it's a part of His plan. Last night I wavered but now things are better and I remain more determined than I would ever be afraid. March 31st, 2012 is the greatest day to be alive and I intend to, as the Good Book says, "rejoice and be glad in it." Have a great weekend my family and friends and by the way, do something good for YOURSELF today. Love you all.....Peggy
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