You know, I've had many awakenings since the morning I took the "most expensive bicycle ride in the world". I believe it to be true that if I would have been 25 years old rather than 55 when I went through this, that the overall impact of getting badly hurt might have been looked at quite differently.
At 25, I might well have said, "Well this sucks! But I'll get over it and have plenty of time to get back to normal and do everything I want to in the future." But 8 months out of the life of a now 56-year old woman puts it into a different perspective, one that soberly forces you to look at the brevity of your own time on this earth. There are still so many things I wish to do~but the somber reality is this...I am much, much closer to the end of my life here than to its beginning. And if there are things that are important for me to do and take care of, then I can't afford another 240-day chunk of life to be lost. It's SO time for me to get a "move on."
You may have already heard me mention that my name is written in the soil of south central Kansas and friends that is very true! I was born October 26, 1955 in Newton, Kansas. (Geesch, that just sent a chill down my spine...someday they'll be reading that about me in the obituary section of the Hutchinson News. Don't worry, plan to be here at least a fairly good while yet :)
Up until the third grade, I was raised in the sand hills of Harvey County, between Burrton and Halstead on the farm ground that was homesteaded by my Great-Great Grandmother Burch and her daughter and son-in-law, Elizabeth and Edgar Brown in 1871. They were good "Quaker folks" who had traveled here all the way from London, England. When I was 8, our family moved to a house in the country near Haven, Kansas and that's where I consider my real growing up years to have been spent. And by the way, all of you "Havenites" that might be reading this, you are living in one of the finest places on earth, my hometown!
I married at 21 and my husband and I continued to live in the Reno County area. When I was divorced 10 years later, I had no desire to leave and go else where because this was my home. I remarried someone who also liked the area so I continued to stay here and raise my 3 children. When my second husband and I divorced 17 years later, it seemed ridiculous to think of running away to anywhere else. So here I stayed, and stayed, and stayed.
My present home here in the heart of the city of Hutchinson was built in 1931, long before I was even a "twinkle in my daddy's eyes". My parents bought the house in 1982 just a few short months before our dad passed away from lung cancer. Mom continued to live there for the 25 years that followed and my own 3 children spent a great deal of time there as well in their growing up years. Many happy memories were made in this house as it became a refuge for me from the troubles that life seemed to be dealing me.
By the time 2005 rolled around, I was looking for a place to buy when Mom's old house came up for sale. It only took a minute or two to decide it was a good place for me to be. I bought it in April of 2005 and have been there ever since. I must admit that I never would have imagined ever living here in my later years, the farthest thing from my mind. But life changed, perhaps as yours has from time to time, and so here I am.
This house has been good for me, providing a place to find peace and quiet, to heal my wounded spirit. I actually have done pretty well here, all things considered. It hasn't been easy dealing with all of the problems that needed to be taken care of, especially as a single woman with absolutely no mechanical ability, but I made it. I learned quickly that roofs need repair, sump pumps can quit working, and air conditioners may finally "give up the ghost". Between friends and family helping to deal with issues of house maintenance as well as all the people who make their living doing house repair, I managed to make it just fine. I love this old house and in many ways I believe that the 7 years that I've lived here have restored my life, renewed my sad spirit, and given me lots of hope.
Having said all of that, friends I want you to know that it will soon be time for me to make a move in this life of mine. It's one that won't really take me too far away, in fact my upcoming change of scenery is only a county from here. (Hey, when I move, I REALLY move LOL) For at least the next year of my life, I will be living in the small Sedgwick County community of Valley Center, Kansas. It's 40 miles from my home here in Hutch and still a reasonable and doable commute each day back and forth to my teaching job here at Lincoln Elementary. Please don't worry about the drive, if that's already on your mind...and you are my friends, so I know that it is! I plan to use that "on the road time" each day as the perfect chance to think about life, give my daily prayers and just have some joy with the peace and quiet. I know it will be different, but my friends, I am ok with it.
It's a pretty big leap of faith for me and I'd be lying if I told you that I had no worries about how it will all work out. But you know faith is about all we really have to hold onto most days. For whatever reason, I still do believe that it's part of God's great plan for me and with that in mind, I'm choosing to go. I hope and pray that my eyes are open to all it is that God must want me to see. I'll keep you "posted" my friends. As in this venture, as with most everything else in my life these days, I am way more determined than I would ever be afraid.
My mom and I on the day she came to say "good-bye" to her home. I definitely hadn't figured to buy it myself the following year. Just a part of "the plan."
Probably one of my favorite quotes from the television show "Touched By An Angel"~
"How do people do it? They get up every morning and start all over again. It takes a lot of courage to do that...and they don't even know what angels know."
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