This post has no connection, really, to my "bucket list journey of 2011" but it has EVERYTHING to do with "Peggy Miller's life journey". With the passing on Wednesday of this last week of my dear friend, Wanda Klaver, the time has come to tell of my "once other life."
In 2005, I took classes to become a CNA, partly because of the economic need to have a job to supplement my teaching salary as well as to help in caring for my mom. It was not something I ever figured I'd be doing but life is full of unexpected changes--lesson learned this summer by me. Doesn't mean that you necessarily will like every change....but it IS what it is.
In 2006, I accepted a position as a CNA caregiver at the Wheaton House, located on the campus of Mennonite Manor in South Hutchinson. The Wheaton House, a brand-new, million dollar + facility was opened in early 2007. It was an innovative idea, a concept whereby an elderly person needing long-term care could be one of 10 residents able to live within the house. The houses were part of a "Greenhouse" concept--the refreshingly wonderful idea that said that when an elderly person needed permanent long-term care it didn't mean that they were waiting to die--IT MEANT THAT THEY WERE CHOOSING TO LIVE! And at the two houses, that's exactly what the residents did. Each person had a beautiful room of their own with huge bathrooms as well. The houses had enormous family and living room areas where everyone could sit and enjoy conversations and television, church activities, or visiting with company. The kitchen/dining area was wide-open, and everyone (staff, residents and their families) could prepare and take their meals together. IT WAS LIKE HEAVEN ON EARTH FOR THE FOLKS LIVING AND WORKING THERE.
The Wheaton, with its "sister" house, The Graber House, operated until 2010 when financially it was no longer a feasible concept. It was a sad and disappointing time for all concerned as the residents were moved out, one by one, to other facilities. As disappointed, angry, and sad as I was about the change, there are many reasons to rejoice of my time spent working there--and 10 of them follow....
This is my dear friend Vera Ray-she and I were best friends with something in common--we both loved to ride bikes! Vera never drove a car but "motored" around the streets of her hometown of Nickerson on a cool looking 3-wheeled trike. At her funeral in February of this year, the pastor lovingly referred to her as the "crazy bicycle lady" and that would have made Vera grin from ear-to-ear. From Vera, I learned how to slow down, just a bit. Yeah, yeah, yeah....I know what you are thinking! LOL She loved to sing the words from Simon and Garfunkel's "59th Street Bridge Song" to me, 'slow down, you move too fast'.
At the Wheaton House I made the acquaintance of another best friend. This is me with Katie Clothier--a person who grew to be a special friend rather quickly. We "two kids" had lots in common and it was at that "common ground" that we shared many conversations. She was a teacher, just like me, for over 40 years in Wichita. Katie was short, like me...in fact you'd have to say she was ultra-short, only reaching a height of 4'. In Katie's world, Peggy Miller was a "giant" and we shared many giggles over that fact together. From Katie, I learned not to take life so seriously, that it was ok to laugh and smile. Her favorite thing to tell me was.... "Peggy, once when I was in the hospital, one of the nurses felt sorry for me and asked me if I had always been this short, I said, 'Oh, no. I was a baby once.' lol. lol Katie left us only 3 days before Vera Ray did this year.
If I ever had someone I would have considered my "second" dad, this guy would have to be him. Marion Barton Barnett was a farmer from Linn County, Kansas. I grew to love him very much--He was a feisty old guy who, when feeling good, could talk your "leg off". He was a navy veteran of WW II who still remembered all the stories of his time in service. I could have listened to Marion talk for hours and never grown tired of listening to the very same stories. He was like a "talking" history book and I loved that fact about him. Marion had a different kind of blood than most of us do-his blood flowed "John-Deere green". Since my own dad, a farmer from here in south central Kansas, ran only Massey-Ferguson equipment, Marion and I got into some spirited conversations as to what color was best, red or green. I was blessed to be at Marion's bedside the day he passed on in 2008. After he died, I dressed him in his comfy gray sweats and the John-Deere t-shirt I bought him for Father's Day. And with that, I let him go. From Marion, I learned that God sends others into our lives to help "cushion" the blow of losing a loved one, just like my dad.
This dear woman might look sweet and innocent, but let me tell you, Ruby Farthing could whip the pants off any of you when it comes to playing dominoes! lol Ruby was quiet and reserved, a stoic woman who seldom uttered any complaints. She preferred reading, doing word searches and snacking on her favorite, "cheese puffs". On Sundays, her brother, sister, and niece would come to play dominoes in the family room of The Wheaton House. It was always fun to watch the domino game unfold. They were a very predictable group of 80-year olds....the first 15 minutes all would be well, then the REAL fun would begin. "You cheated!"one would exclaim. "Did not!" would be the return reply. We all would laugh and call a "time-out" for coffee and cookies and then the game would go on! From Ruby, I learned the merit of reflection, of pausing before speaking, to think about choosing words carefully--so if you had to "eat them later", they wouldn't taste so bad. Ruby left us in 2008.
I just have to smile whenever I see this dear woman's face! Meet Gladys McIntosh, one fine and classy lady. She had a strange blood-type as well, "black coffee, type A". That woman could put away more cups of java in one morning than anyone else I ever knew, except for one of my sisters. Gladys was a world-traveler and I loved to sit with her and listen to the tales she could so easily tell. She had closets full of beautiful clothes and accessories but much preferred the handful of "feel good clothes" that she wore all the time. She was one of the most "youthful" nearly 90-year olds that I ever knew! She retained a keen interest in the world outside of Room #5 at the Wheaton House. Towards the last days of her earthly life, she was no longer able to visit--but she had a constant stream of family and staff in and out of her room......just being with for what little time remained. From my dear friend Gladys, I learned to be good to myself, to pause once in a while to relax, to treat myself to something special once in awhile. Gladys passed away in 2007.
This is Fran Yoder with her son, Dean. Fran will always be remembered by me for her deep love of the Lord. She hardly ever missed a church service and was always glad to lead a devotional or say a prayer for the group. She loved flowers, often spending her free time outdoors on the patio of the Wheaton House. Since I love plants and flowers too, we often shared conversation about gardeniung. Fran taught me a lot of the tips she had learned over the years and I was glad to teach her what I knew. Fran and I developed a good relationship over the months that we were together. She passed away in 2009.
One of my favorite photos, taken in 2008, of Floyd Yoder and his daughter Maribeth Morgan. Floyd was someone I had known from my early years of growing up on a farm between Haven and Yoder. I never expected, as a kid, that I would be taking care of Floyd in his later years. But what a privilege it was! Floyd wasn't able to say very much but his hands were still strong and his "butcher's grip" grabbed your attention rather quickly. Taking care of Floyd taught me the invaluable lesson of remembering from whence you came. It was a blessing to be able to take care of someone from my past. Floyd died in 2008.
Beryl Landers was "one of a kind". Talk about your genuine kind of lady, that would be Beryl. She much preferred to spend her days quietly in her room, either doing Cryptoquips from the Hutch News or watching her favorite pro-golfer, Tiger Woods. Thankfully, Beryl passed away before Tiger's unfortunate scandal broke out She would have been heartbroken to hear that kind of news about "her Tiger." I was always so amazed at how quickly she could do the Cryptoquips. I had been trying them for years with no success so I asked her one day how she got to be so good. She said, "Peggy, it's like this. When you have nothing else to do all day long, like I do, you've got a lot of time to practice." One of the fun things I remember about Beryl was doing her laundry and bringing it in to fold in her room. She preferred that I just dump it all out on the bed and we'd fold it together. The saying, "many hands make the work go faster," was sure the case in Beryl's room. She died in 2007.
This is Wanda Klaver, the lone member of the "The Wheaton House-Last Man Standing Club." Of the original 10 charter members, Wanda lived the longest of all the other residents. She had a huge heart, full of love for anyone she knew and even those she didn't. One of the happiest memories I have of Wanda was when 4th grade students from Avenue A were penpals with each of the 10 residents. Wanda dutifully wrote a letter each week to the class, asking how they were doing at school, how things were at home. She made Halloween, Christmas, and Easter treat favors for them. When Wanda was there, EVERY kid knew they were loved. From Wanda, I learned just how important that touch of human kindness could be in a kid's life. She passed away 4 days ago at the Hospice House.
And last, but NEVER LEAST, my dearest of friends, Winifred Peterson. Winifred had a quiet spirit about her and she loved the Lord. She rarely missed church and would listen intently as the sermon was preached, She read her Bible and studied her devotionals with a fervor. Winifred's family visited regularly and how she enjoyed their times together at the Wheaton. As her days on earth began to dwindle down a few years back, Winifred wanted me to know something. I stopped by her room a couple of days before her death, to visit. That's when she said to me, "Peggy, I want you to know something. I was listening to the radio this week and I heard someone say that everything we do in this life, just prepares us for the next." You know, I never will forget that friends.
These 10 people, plus many others, had a profound impact on my life. They taught me many valuable lessons that are important to me today. Knowing them and taking care of them taught me the value of the "human touch", that a nice warm washcloth could feel good on a tired face, and that sometimes we all need a little help when our bodies are wearing out.
I was so blessed, so very fortunate to know them as they all entered into the final days of their life here on earth. My hope for all of you, as you make your own "life journey", would be to stop, listen, and learn from your elders. The time spent is priceless, the lessons learned, so very invaluable.
Oh, by the way, sooner or later ALL of us will make it to old age.....
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